My Weekend Golf Expedition

August 18, 2008


My youngest son Pete was in for a weekend visit, so we decided it should probably involve a little golf.

Pete destroyed me in golf all last summer. Of course, this could have been partially due to the fact that I don’t actually play golf and don’t own any clubs. Pete had put together a set for me to use consisting of an old bag, several ancient ladies blades (Mary Mills!) and a couple of drivers made out of wood. I would play with those and Pete would play with his expensive set of clubs. Pete, however, did not bring his clubs home with him, so we shared my clubs for our little golf outing.

I am nothing if not a snappy dresser and I wore my black hi-top Converse golfing shoes to the course. As I was waiting for Peter to tee off a little girl rode up to me on a bike, stopped, looked me up and down a couple of times and said, ”…do you know how to play golf?” I said, “ha ha ha, yes… kinda.” She continued to sit there on her bike, so I decided (being the adult in this conversation) I should probably say something else, so I said, ”…why, don’t I look like I know how to play golf, ha ha ha?” She looked me up and down again and said, ”…no”… so I said, ”…ha ha ha” which was the only witty reply I could think of. I walked away from her, teed up my ball and crushed a drive… right into the highway that runs along the first fairway and almost hit a passing car.

I did see that little girl again as we were approaching the clubhouse on the ninth hole, and I will confess that I was kinda aiming more for her than the pin, but that was only because I knew if I was aiming for her I could never hit her in a million years… probably.

The Comments


Hey Den, I heard Tom Lynch is giving lessons in golf in between doing his water colors. Keep your head down and follow through. The dragon looks a little upset you didn’t hit him did you?

Doug Jones

didn’t you use your Cheap Joe Golden Fleece #2 putter? I’m sure you had an extra pair of pants in that golf bag… in case you got a hole in one…

Jason Bourne

The only golf I have ever done is at Putt-Putt Golf N Games… It was a good time, and now its just a memory…siigghhh

Don Jones

This post baffles me, Dennis … I can’t quite bring into congruency your clubs, attire, the dinosaurs, and the two pair of glasses… (sunglasses & reading.. must be for those close-up reading of the greens) I can’t come up with much here except to say MARY MILLS LADY BLADES ROCK! In fact, that’s what the golf ball probably FEELS like when you hit it with one of those… a rock.


Once again, I stop by to see some art and I get….art! The art of comedy is way to good to pass up. I like the “Anchors Aweigh” look but you don’t strike me as the Gene Kelly type? Funny stuff!

Dennis Jones

…here’s the rest of the story …I never got within 15 strokes of Pete last summer, he always just creamed me… but this time when we were BOTH using MY crummy set of ladies clubs, I beat him by 9 strokes!

Don Jones

Oh, I feel Pete’s pain. This will take awhile to live down…

Jason Bourne

When you hit rock bottom the only way to go is back up… For Pete’s sake LOL.

Doug Jones

well… Pete is a numbers genius… keeps accurate records and all… I think Dennis cooked his books when Pete wasn’t looking…

Dennis Jones

…Pete pointed out to me that my score was really nothing to brag about so I pointed out to him that his score was 9 strokes worse than mine…

Doug Jones

were there any 8s involved in the score? they are LUCKY you know…

Dennis Jones

…no, nothing out of the ordinary here, Doug… well… unless you count the pink elephant…

Doug Jones

my last golf score was 2008… a VERY lucky number!

Don Jones

In the hacking golf community (Hit-A-House Tour) an 8 is known as a “snowman”.

Jason Bourne

I wish the show Eight is Enough was in reruns on TV. Ahhhh.. The good ol days.


8 is enough? Meh. Brady Bunch FTW.

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