Brother Jones News Center

April 21, 2006


…live, local and breaking news at the top of each hour…

At Brother Jones News Center, when news breaks… we fix it.

Todays topic: Nutrition

New research, (supported by the Dairy Industry), shows that chocolate milk is just as effective as sports drinks, (like Gatorade), at helping athletes recover from strenuous exercise. As a finely conditioned athlete myself, I have personally switched to drinking only chocolate milk after workouts and have found this to, in fact, be true.

In further health news, it is being reported that Americans are not getting enough protein in their breakfasts any more. In an effort to remedy this in my own life, I have started adding gravy to my Cheerios in the morning.

On a totally unrelated note, I have been experiencing mysterious weight gain over the past few months. I am keeping a close eye on this crisis and will file a report on any breaking news as this situation develops.

The Comments

Doug Jones

…great reporting there, Den. Say, is that Katie Couric sitting next to you? I thot she was going over to CBS… but I guess your fringe bennys are better. All the chocolate milk you can drink and GRAVY!!

Don Jones

Do I smell bacon frying?

Dennis Jones

…mmmmmm …I’ll be back in a while… I’m headed for Crackerbarrel…


After minutes of extensive research I concluded that if you eat all the right things, don’t have any bad habits, and jog 3 miles a day…When you die, you are much healthier than other dead people. Wheres the chocomoojuice?

Doug Jones

I’m really lovin’ your new studio there, Denny. Looks like BrotherJones Special Bonus Friday! Three new pages the same day! Woo Hoo!

Don Jones

The set is very warm and inviting. A good contrast to the harsh and provactive news reporting… especially by that little poker face monkey.

Don Jones

You’ve got a similar doo to Matt Lauer.

Dennis Jones

…I taught Matt Lauer everything he knows about news reporting…

Don Jones

I’m happy to report my concrete etching is now complete. With a second coat color change the job was a complete success. NOTE: Slate grey is in reality a Slate BLUE grey. Weathered concrete is the color of choice.

Dennis Jones

…glad to hear you got your job finished, Don… I am still trying to get my front porch railing painted… what a horrible thing this has turned out to be… a nightmare from which there is no escape…

Don Jones

Rail painting can be made worse with HIGH TEMPERATURES and lots of bugs. Have you considered finding a local Boy Scout troop in need of community service?

Doug Jones

I had a BAD experience once painting some wroght iron railing. That twisting metal will drive you crazy trying to paint. … you COULD get too busy to finish, and leave it for Pete to do when he comes home. think about it.

Dennis Jones

…Pete painting is a good idea, Doug… except that he is staying in Oklahoma this summer and working his two jobs… so I STILL have to finish this crummy painting job…

Don Jones

Can’t your lovely wife sling a little paint?

Dennis Jones

…when Karen gets home and sees the “Brother Jones” job I did on the front porch that might not be all she’s slinging…

Don Jones

Get yourself to Wal-Marts and buy a bouquet and some chocolates… and get some for Karen too.

Doug Jones

Why do I have the feeling you are out painting railings today?

Don Jones

I believe he had to go into town for more paint… but I’m thinking Dennis went WAY out of town… as in San Francisco or SOMEthing…


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