Custom Built Dryer

November 29, 2005


At this time I would like to introduce to the world the never before seen… custom designed, built, and conceived by me… Brother Jones High Tech Gourd Drying Device… or as it is officially referred to here in the research and development department, the HTGDD 5000… 2.0…

According to my scientific calculations, gourds suspended above ground will dry faster as more of their surface area is exposed to air. While the HTGDD 5000 2.0 is stressed to the max with a load of several hundred pounds initially, each day of drying produces a load that lightens several pounds per day.

I plan to be the George Washington Carver of hard shell gourds and this is my first step in that direction. There will surely be some sort of Pulitzer Prize waiting for me in the very near future.

(No animals were injured in the building of the HTGDD 5000 2.0)

(Any resemblance between the HTGDD 5000 2.0 and persons living or dead is purely coincidental)

Check out the new portfolio of gourds I posted today.

The Comments

Doug Jones

the HTGDD5000 2.0 is a vast improvement over the HTGDD4000 1.3… good work. I’d say you’d better be careful though.. you could poke your eye out with some of those. that gourd portfolio is also grand! good idea! On a side note… I bet the Colts are quaking in their boots at the thought of facing the Titans this weekend.

Dennis Jones

…thank you, thank you… well, we must not sit on our hands as hi-technology passes us by… I am already working on the all new HTGDD 6000 2.5 which features half inch pvc pipe instead of the three quarters inch I used on the 5000 model… also new on the 6000… rich corinthian leather…

Dennis Jones

…oh, and concerning the Indianapolis Colts… may I refer everyone back to a journal article I posted on August 16… I believe it will speak for itself…

Don Jones

Ingenius. Brilliant. A handsome addition to any backporch. I would think for the hyper drying mode you simply flip on the ceiling fans.

Dennis Jones

…the HTGDD 5000 2.0 also makes a dandy gift for the hard to shop for person on your Christmas list…

Don Jones

I will pass that along to whoever has drawn your name. (Delivery on the 17th I do believe.) Never can have too many HTGDD 5000 2.0s sitting around. Much like riding lawn mowers.

Dennis Jones

…so …how many broken down riders do you have littering your yard at the present time?… two?… three?…

Don Jones

My Cub Cadet is now safely wintering in the garage… the old Sears Crapman! is having a blade spindle replaced elsewhere.


Cool gourds!

Doug Jones

Dennis… >Tennessee has a great gourd growing season >We have four distinct seasons with a great spring and fall >We have ice hockey rinks and a pro hockey team >We never have to shovel snow >We have an NFL team that desperately needs your help. I will be looking for a house for you so you can move out of that frozen tundra and move to the promised land and work your magic on the Titans.

Don Jones

Dennis >Missouri has a wonderful mixture of the four seasons. >We have TWO pro football teams and ONE pro hockey team. >We lead the nation in meth lab busts. >Our NFL football team needs your kind of MoJo in order to achieve another Super Bowl ring. >I will be looking for a double-wide for you and the little missus so you can move to the beauty and serenity of the Ozark hills.


Dennis, your mother and I used to drink from gourds back on the farm before we had running water.

Dennis Jones

…I recently took a disaster relief training class and I believe I will now add dipper gourds to the list of MUST have items in my house… also on that list… candy bars, Folgers coffee singles… 5 comic books…

Doug Jones

don’t forget the Fritos

Don Jones

I heard you can start fires with Fritos… apparently they are quite flammable.


Another use for gourds. My grandmother used a small gourd which she inserted into a sock while she mended it. Suppose it may have been used on Socomo?

Don Jones

That’s it for me… I ain’t coming back here but once a week…

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