Go Weasels!

October 20, 2005

WeaselSketch

One of the biggest games of the year takes place in cyberspace this weekend.

My beloved Sheboygan Wild Weasels (2 and 3) take on their arch rivals, (little brother Don’s) Sedro Wooley Phlegm (3 and 2) in what is destined to be a game for the ages. It’s big… it’s a grudge match… and it’s for all the marbles… whatever all that means.

Due to the Weasels slow start this season, disgusted fans have been lobbying for the team to change it’s name from the Weasels to the Possums since they always seem to play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Team owner Dennis Jones states with resolve and conviction that the team will absolutely NOT change it’s name to the Possums… probably…

The Comments

Don Jones

The Brothers Jones indecisive? Well, yes and no. The Phlegm will be fielding the one-legged Michael Vick this weekend seeing as how our back-up and past 2-week loser QB Brian Griese has taken his ACL into the shop for a makeover. Weasel Possoms are going down…

Dennis Jones

…the Weasels quarterbacking duties are up in the air, too… not sure if Dante Culpepper and the Vikings have returned from their Love Boat excursion yet or not… might have to start the Burger King at QB this week…

Don Jones

If you field the Burger King we aren’t showing. That is one creepy mascot.

Dennis Jones

…he’s no mascot… he’s a playmaker! …just watch his commercials…

Don Jones

He appears to have a real consistent self-serving non-team attitude with a botox’d face to match. Overdosed on Whoppers no doubt…

Dennis Jones

…maybe youre right… ok, were not starting the Burger King at QB this week… were starting the Pepsi machine instead… the Pepsi machines got good hands…

Don Jones

He’s not quite as heavy as the Pepsi machine but I hear the Subway’s Jared’s got game.

Dennis Jones

…yes, but he wears glasses… I need perfect vision from my starting quarterback…

Don Jones

Get old Jared one of them tinted face guards… that way my team won’t have to look at his face… plus, I’ve heard his breath is a killer. His breath gets him an additional 10 yards on every run.

Dennis Jones

ok… enough of this nonsense… ARE YOU READY TO MAKE THIS GAME INTERESTING?… HUH?… WELL… ARE YA?… THATS RIGHT… I’M YELLING…

I am so confidant that I am going to win this weekend that, if I should lose, I will let you pick ANY player from my team and trade for him with a scrub sitting on your bench…

and if I win… I get to trade for any one of your players for a scrub from my bench…

Whataya think about that, PhlegmBoy?

Don Jones

OH YEA!! I’ll take that little wager even though it means I will be DOWNGRADin’ by selecting from your scrub Weasel buffet. I believe my 20+ preview edge should hold up… Colts against the Texans… that’s should be about 40 points by itself. CHIEFS TONIGHT!… no t.v. coverage though.

Dennis Jones

Ha Ha… Don you have foolishly fallen into my evil trap… there is not a player on my team that is better than one of the scrubs sitting on your bench… so win or lose, if I can trade one of my loser guys for one of yours, I will have upgraded my team… HOO HOO! GO WEASELS! WIN! LOSE! WHO CARES! I WIN!

Don Jones

I’d like to up the ante with a dozen Krispy Kremes.

Dennis Jones

ok yer on… if I win I will go out and buy myself a dozen glazed… if you win you go out and buy yourself a dozen glazed…

Don Jones

That is such a deal. Cause you know… buy a dozen get a dozen FREE. Is it true that one donut has the equivalent of a pound of bacon grease? I sure hope so.

Don Jones

The Chief’s kicker Sir Lawrence KILLED US! Who ever heard of a kicker scoring 17 or so points? Who? Tines was on fire kicking a couple 50+ yard field goals in the Friday night Miami win. The radio reception was one step above poor but nevertheless… it was a NFL football game.

Dennis Jones

…well Don… sorry to do that to you, but I went ahead and unsheathed my top secret weapon on you which I said I had earlier over on your journal page.

Hey, there might still be some hope for you tonight… perhaps Michael Vick will score you 33 points in the Monday Night Football Game… but I wouldn’t hold my breath…

…in the mean time I will go ahead and start shopping the Phlegm roster for my new player…

Banshee

A few quick comments: 1) Chiefs fans around here were robed by the fact that they couldn’t watch the game, but I could vent for them for a few pages on that, so we’ll cut it here. 2) I thought the biggest game on the Weasels schedule was the one against the “Whoops, we managed to play a few guys on a BYE” Banshees that takes place next week… Banshee -FOWA: week of 4-10-05- Sometimes I forget what I am doing. When I come back to consciousness I find a couple of my players are on the Bye Week.

Banshee

Or “robbed”… either way, I guess…

Dennis Jones

Banshee, I believe fielding players which arent actually even playing that week is a true sign of confidence… and very intimidating to the opposing team you are playing… I DONT NEED ALL MY PLAYERS TO BEAT YOUR CRUMMY TEAM… you know, that sort of thing… I would strongly suggest you do the same thing next week against whoever your next opponent might be…

Don Jones

PHLEGM UPDATE I am enjoying my dozen KK donuts for this weeks unpredictable loss to those wicked conniving Weasels. I can’t seem to get the Lawrence Tines bitter loss after taste outta my mouth…

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