The Weasel Report

September 19, 2005


The Brothers Jones have been playing fantasy football together since the early 90’s. Our game has evolved from a game on fax paper to a high tech internet game. My team is the Sheboygan Weasels… and this is our Early Season Report.

It looks like the real strength of the Weasels this year will be the quarterbacking tandem. I have Daunte Culpepper starting and Joey Harrington on the bench. Last week they combined for a whopping one touchdown. Of course, that came from my guy on the bench, so it didn’t count in my game.

But what I am proudest of is that my quarterbacks combined last week for a grand total of ten interceptions. They each had five. These guys show the essence of what Sheboygan Weasel Football is all about.

Yes, the strength of my team this year is definitely my two quarterbacks. The rest of the team pretty much goes downhill from there.

The Comments

Don Jones

It was pretty obvious the auto-draft was not too kind to the Weasels this year. But if I know you Den, you’ll have those drop/trade buttons singing in the next few days and have that Weasel roster whipped back into winning form. I wonder if there is a Vince Lobotomy Super Bowl Gourd on the horizon for this year’s Stupor Bowl winner? An oblong gourd painted in beautiful aluminum patena… that’s Spanish for color.

Dennis Jones

…I am really wanting to draft the Burger King… I see him making plays every week… but I cant seem to find him on the free agent list…

Don Jones

He creeps me out. I haven’t had a whopper in years just because of him.

Dennis Jones

He is creepy, but have you noticed he is making highlight film plays every week… that guy has got game!

Doug Jones

ARRRRRR! Ahoy mateys! Ye needs some new recruits? Go shanghai a NFL vessel sailin’ in yer waters. Me… I like the Pepsi machine… got good hands…

Don Jones

In part because the D he’s playing against is so stinkin’ soft. Put him against McDonald’s Big D or even that noted cornerback Wendy and he’d be chewing the turf. That’s just my opinion.

Dennis Jones

…the Pepsi machine does have good hands, but it’s way too slow for the Weasels…

Dennis Jones


So far in four games Culpepper and Harrington have combined for thirteen interceptions and three touchdowns… (the three touchdowns, of course, came from the guy I have sitting on the bench)… I am sure glad Dante is a franchise player and cannot be traded… Whew!

Don Jones

I stayed up to the bitter end of MNF. And boy was it worth it. I love the crazy long bombs by the pathetically weak Redskin offense. The Tuna was beside himself… I guess that makes him a side of tuna.

Dennis Jones


Todays featured player… tight end Marcus Pollard.

I was so pleased to see Marcus drafted by the Weasels this year. I have watched him play for several seasons with the Colts. Now that he is with Detroit he should be a splendid weapon for them, too. He is a gamer. Marcus is probably the best player on my team.

NEWS FLASH: Pollard is out with a concussion from last weeks Chicago game.

Well… at least I have another quality tight end waiting on the bench for such a time as this… Jermaine Wiggins… and seeing as how he plays in that explosive Vikings offense that has piled up one touchdown this season I will no doubt be wracking up the big points with him this weekend!


Don Jones

My initial thought here (really)… The Weasels are a bunch of retreads.

Dan Lietha

I feel your pain over the Daunte Culpepper problems. I’m a diehard Vikings fan and was AT the slaughter in Cincinnati. My wife bought us tickets to the game to surprise me. Boy was I surprised! That was a $140 investment into depression.

Don Jones

Dan, sorry to report but I had a good laugh there at your expense. The vision of a wide eyed. rabid Vikings fan with an empty wallet, a big-time loss, no Randy Moss… this is funny stuff.

Dennis Jones

Well Dan… as a Vikings fan you no doubt heard the pundits in the off season proclaiming the Viking offense would be even better WITHOUT Randy Moss… I never did understand their reasoning in this… how do you subtract that many touchdowns from your offense and get any better?

Dan Lietha

I am happy to report that my Vikings pain has been totally HEALED! Tonight I found and bought a copy of the SEE WITH ME BIBLE and now I don’t even care about the Vikings season! I’ll spend Sundays drooling over this wonderful work of art instead of depressed over another NFL loss. Thank you Dennis! It’s a miracle! 🙂

Dennis Jones

…and if the Vikings get things turned around this season that will be a miracle, too!

Don Jones

Speaking of miracles… did you catch the crushed spinal cord miracle on LOST last night? When the good doctor was working out in the stadium and that guy paused to assist him with his little ankle injury… what was it that he said he was training for? World domination or something?

Don Jones

Maybe he was preparing to play for the Vikes.

Dennis Jones

…looks like the writers of LOST stepped up to the plate last night and are going to deliver on a really interesting season…

Don Jones

We’ve just recruited another LOST viewer. Kellie is now in the process of watching the intro hour deal… and some how 48 passengers survived. Excuse me! Did you ever use a needle?


You have two more LOST viewers here! Last week Andy and I rented all the DVD’s from Season 1 so we would know what is going on with the show. 24 episodes in 5 days!!

Dan Lietha

And to bring this LOST conversation together with the Vikings talk, go here:– Very fitting.

Dennis Jones

…thats funny… as well as fitting…

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