Utopia Joe

February 3, 2005

Joes-Chevy-Nova

I just got back from visiting my oldest son in Oklahoma. While there I had a chance to spend some time with an old friend of mine, Joe Bohrer.

Joe is one of the most imaginative artists I know. I am fascinated with his work and the creative way he goes about making art in general. We spent an afternoon in his shop where he basically gave me a tutorial on how he builds his stuff. It was a great time… and somewhat unusual.

A magician is hesitant to share his own personal tricks with another magician for fear of being ripped off. Artists can be the same way… but not Joe. He was out there showing me all the ins and outs of his trade and encouraging me to go give it a try. I appreciated that a lot.

If you want to see some cutting edge stuff you really need to take a look at Joe’s web site.

The Comments

Doug Jones

Totally AWESOME stuff… can I buy one of them chairs at Wal*Mart?

Don Jones

Does Joe use Dremmels?

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Another Quality BrotherJones Moment

February 5, 2005

003-Phone

I gave a phone interview for my new picture Bible last Friday. I believe it was quite possibly the worst telephone interview ever recorded in the history of mankind.

I babbled incoherently for almost 20 minutes. Nothing I said made any sense. Nothing I said even came close to making any sense. I still have no idea what I was talking about, much less the poor guy on the other end of the phone.

The interview is for a CD the publishers will make for their sales people. They will listen to it and get familiar with the new product lines and the personalities behind them. Good luck figuring out what my book is about. I’m even confused about it now.

They assured me they would edit the conversation, put a bed of music under it and fix it up real good before they release it. I am one of ten authors on it. I have a feeling my segment is probably going to run… 17 seconds… tops.

The Comments

Doug Jones

maybe they can lay down a heavy beat underneath about 5 minutes of your talk and release it as a rap song. None of those things are coherent or understandable either. BrotherJones rap music… a great new item for our STORE!

Dennis Jones

ATTENTION ALL RAP FANS… please send all angry comments to the Doug Jones… THATS THE DOUG JONES SECTION of this web site… peace out…

Don Jones

I used to think us Jones Brothers were indecisive, but now I’m not sure.

I Like George

February 8, 2005

aaaWashington

I’m a new George Washington fan. Before now he was just the… father of our country-dollar bill guy to me and thats about it. But I have recently been reading a new book called “Under God” and the first story in it is about Washington and let me tell you something… GEORGE WASHINGTON ROCKS!

I found the story I was reading from this book on the internet at the Under God Web Site. You might enjoy reading it, too. It inspired me to do this picture.

The Comments

uncle eddie

looks real good, Clark! I’d like a T-shirt with that picture on it for one of the kids.

David Lee

You have a good looking site. Keegan did a bang up job.

Dennis Jones

Thank you… and as for Keegan… I now proclaim him… BROTHERJONES BOY GENIUS OF THE WEEK! Congratulations Keeg…

D.J. Smith

I think it was said of Eisenhower that as he was about to go to bed would go to a window of the White House, look into the sky and say something to the effect that “I leave it in your hands now.” He knew while he slept the country still needed protection. I might have that completely wrong…makes for a good post anyway. God bless our presidents Repulican or Democratic and God bless America. May we all be “George Washingtons.”

D.J. Smith

What does one have to do to get to see an original Dennis Jones illustration? I mean the real deal; no prints. Your work is just amazing. I want to study under you. Do you ever come to Nashville, Tennessee? We have the Grand Ole Opry, home of Contemporary Christian Music, and we do wear shoes and no, we don’t talk to each other in corn fields and salute our hometown populations like they did on HeeHaw. Come on people…

Dennis Jones

hmmm… thats interesting D.J….. my brother Doug lives in Nashville, doesn’t wear shoes, and always signs off on his e-mails with a great big HEE-HAW… (just one of the reasons I haven’t been down there in a while… that plus the fact he lives out in a cornfield somewhere)…

Doug Jones

I live in the cornfield so them thar revenuers cain’t find me…

D.J. Smith

WAIT…you’re related to THAT Doug Jones! Sweet! I can’t believe I didn’t recognize Doug’s work. I guess all this corn gets to you after a while. Is Doug the guy in a souped up Ford going down a dirt road running some of that thar white lightin’? Dennis, I hope y’all come on down for a visit sometime soon. We’ll have a good helpin’ of chitlins, mashed potatos n’ gravy, turnip greens, and pork rhines. We can wash it down with some sweet tea or lemonade. For desert we’ll break out the RC Cola and Moonpies. When can we expect you?

Don Jones

Alright! A Tennessee hillbilly buffet. Count me in. I’m not really overweight, I’m just six inches too short. Pass the pie

Dennis Jones

Wall YEE HAW that sounds mighty fine! Mighty fine indeed!

I drew caricatures at Opryland during my college years… Nashville is a great place…

D.J. Smith

Y’all come now, ya hear? We’ll leave the light on for you. My wife’s a mighty fine cook. She’ll fix up somethin’ that’ll make your brain beat out the top of yo mouth just to see what’s tastin’ so good! I wish I had gotten in on the charicture action at Opryland. I went to David Lipscomb for college and they closed down the park near the end of my college career. Someone from the same company opened a kiosk in Opry Mills, our overblown mall that resides where Opryland used to be. I talked with the folks there about how to develop the skills and eye of the charicturist they worked with. She said there was no “training” but the lady did give me some photocopied book that explains a bunch of stuff but nothing that helped make me a better illustrator. I really would like to expand my illustration skills to a professional level. I’m a partner in a graphic design firm in Brentwood and occasionally get asked to do some illustration work. Some serious, some humorous. I prefer humorous. I was trying to get an illustrator by the name of Travis Foster to help me and he was willing but we never have been able to make a connection to get the ball rolling really. I think I just need a little help to take the talent up a notch. I did have Frank Thomas, one of Walt Disney’s (the man Walt) Nine Old Men, critique one of my illustrations. I’ve been trying. Maybe one day. You guys all have some good stuff. Very inspirational for me. I appreciate it. Sorry to be long-winded. You know us hillbillies. We don’t get company very often and we still just take baths once every full-moon.

Gourdness Gracious

February 13, 2005

New-Green-Gourd

The winters here in northern Indiana can be long and hard. I stay indoors as much as possible because wind chills below zero and several layers of snow on the ground hold little to no appeal for me.

That is why I grow hard shell gourds during the summer.

Yep, I’m a gourd farmer and I live here on my gourd ranch. When the temperatures start falling outside I herd a couple of gourds in out of the corral and start working on them. They end up as all kinds of different… uh… things.

This is one I did last weekend. It looked like green turquoise when I was thru staining it. It is hinged in the back so it can open up. I like the way it seems to be ready to walk away as soon as I turn my back on it.

The Comments

mandy

thats a really cool gourd do you ever sell any if you do I WANT ONE

Keegan

Could this be the second incarnation of the “Phlegm” fantasy football team?

Dennis Jones

hmmm… is does sport the official Phlegm team colors…

D.J. Smith

Do you have to ride a horse when you’re herding gourds? Ever had a stampede of gourds nearly kill you? Everyone sing now…”Rollin, rollin, rollin, get them gourds a rollin, RAW GOURD!!!!!!”

Dennis Jones

Ride a Horse? Are you kidding me… it’s the 21 century… I am high tech… I use my riding lawnmower…

Don Jones

There was a movie about Dennis and his time in THE BIG HOUSE – The Gourdman of Alcatraz.

mandy

i really really really want that gourd!!!

Arnold

Do you have more gourds like this? If you do, you should post your collection online. I want to see them!

frappman

what are those little wing/legs made out of?

Dennis Jones

If you dig around on my other site (DJ-ART) you can find some gourds I did when I was first trying to figure out what I could do with them. They are somewhat crude efforts, but you might find them interesting. I will try to get some shots of my more current creations and post them in my portfolio section.

Those legs are made from a kind of particle board called MDF. Joe Bohrer introduced me to it the last time I was in Oklahoma.

mandy

CAN I BUY THAT GOURD FROM YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mandy

I WANT A GOURD NOW!!!!!!!

Dennis Jones

Hi Mandy… I might be wrong about this, but I kinda think you maybe are hinting to me that you might be interested in buying a gourd? Is that right? Because I’m really not sure if thats what you are wanting or not… unfortunately, my brother Don handles all gourd sells … (it was in the fine print of the BrotherJones website contract) I think you will need to talk to him over on his section… I wish there was something I could do to help, but my Brother Don runs a pretty tight ship…

mandy

so don can you get me a gourd

Chuck

Mandy, Those gourds retail for around 10,000 dollars. If you could post a comment with your credit card and mailing address I can see if I can pull some string. 🙂

Home DeProvement

February 21, 2005

Home-Improvement

American Chopper, Trading Spaces, This Old House most any kind of custom fabrication TV show fascinates me. I love to watch people create custom stuff from scratch or redo problem rooms in a house.

Inspired by these shows, this weekend my wife and I decided we would give our bathroom a makeover. We decided to do this midway through Saturday morning. There was plenty of time left in the day to simply paint the walls blue and leave the woodwork and trim white.

We spent the entire day getting the supplies we needed. Now our simple painting project was spilling over into Sunday afternoon. I taped everything up and started the first of many missteps with the paint. We finally quit for the night with the job undone.

Now it is Monday, and it seems that instead of going to the rink and playing hockey tonight, I will be on a ladder in my bathroom slopping paint. This is not exactly the way this thing was supposed to work out. Our little project is taking substantially more time than the big ones on TV do. They usually get massive jobs done in only one hour.

I can hardly wait to get this thing done and get back on the couch in front of the TV where I belong.

The Comments

Don Jones

This sounds all too familiar. It’s amazing that in your mind’s eye you can always imagine a flawless, smooth running job that might even appear enjoyable. I think this is due to those stinkin’ Do-It-Youself shows where you wear nice clothes and never get dirty.

Doug Jones

To complete a project like that in one day would be the EASY way… but not the JONES way! You have done us proud by upholding the Jones tradition of making everything harder and more complicated than it need be. I have mastered this art myself. I have a leaking pipe under the sink that I need to attend to… but I KNOW once I start messing with it, it would mean the end of all my free time for days…. the plastic bucket is doing well in the mean time…

Dennis Jones

My kitchen sink faucet head is attached to a retractable metal hose, which began to leak about a month ago… I contacted the manufacturer and they sent me a new hose… the lady on the phone assured me it would be easy to install…

I got busy on it and everything was going smoothly until I tried to yank the old hose up thru the faucet fixture… it got stuck… not knowing exactly what to do at that point, I decided to do the only sensible thing… I yanked on it really, really hard… now it was really, really stuck… We spent the entire Super Bowl weekend with no water in the kitchen because I had the sink all gummed up.

I finally had to call a contractor friend to come out and save me…

Doug Jones

YESssssss! you have acquired the “Jones” touch… congratulations. “If it doesn’t work… use a bigger hammer”

Dennis Jones

…wheres the fun in doing something right?

Don Jones

I always enjoy those put-it-together furniture deals… I have a whole drawer of extra parts and leftover pieces. The tool I find essential is a chisel. Last Sunday I jammed the ashtray in my car shut with my wife’s lotion bottle inside. At that point is was crammed so tight it would not budge. I proceeded to wedge the old chisel in and applied a little metal bending pressure (lotion squirting all over the floor mats…) and VOILA! A workable ashtray once again… more or less. And we don’t even smoke.

Dennis Jones

I appreciate the fact that some of those places stick in extra parts… but then you feel obliged to hang on to them when you get the contraption put together… they pile up… you forget about them… you find them years later but you don’t know what they are for… you want to throw them away but you dare not because they obviously are for something… it’s obviously some sort of industrial conspiracy… specifically aimed directly at the Brothers Jones…

Doug Jones

huh… I got a little bag of random parts too… If I throw it away, I will need something from it the very next day. It’s a no win situation.

Don Jones

The enviable LOSE-LOSE situation. Maybe we could move these parts on Ebay.

Dennis Jones

…these comments make a fine Neapolitan blend… I will go ahead and mix the strawberry back in…

Don Jones

Vanilla you’re up!

Doug Jones

The term French Vanilla is OUT… from now on it is Freedom Vanilla

Alex M.

Sorry if I sound like a total goof, but that entry was pretty amusing. I had to contain my laugh while working in my office. My dad works in the Painting Business and so he can do a bathroom in half a day no problem, me on the other hand didn’t receive the “gift” of craftsmanship. So, it would take me a week to do it. Heh.

Dennis Jones

It’s probably going to take me a week to paint this thing, too… I thought I was all done on Wednesday, but when I went in on Thursday I noticed blue paint all over the ceiling… How did that happen?… so Thursday night I was back in there trying to touch that up…

At this point I think what I need to do is put a whole bunch of stuff up on the wall (like at Applebees) and try to detract your attention away from the cruddy paint job…