Holy Batman, Cow!

August 3, 2005

Huntington

Doug posted some shots of downtown Nashville on his site today. Here is a shot of the skyscrapers in downtown Huntington, Indiana where I live.

The Comments

Don Jones

Alright the building looks like it has Aztec markings of some sort. It’s a friendly enough looking place… Are those parking meters?

Roberto

Nice picture Dennis – what’s the feature movie showing?

Dennis Jones

I think we just got a new one… “Gone with the Wind”…

Dennis Jones

Don… unfortunately, those are not Aztec markings… I fear they are UFO markings… go here for the rest of the story

Doug Jones

I zoomed in on that marquee and saw that it’s a double feature. The second film is Billy Jack. I’m on my way. Buy me some popcorn… I’ll be there ASAP.

Dennis Jones

YEEAHHIKES

Doug Jones

Thats a fun little game. It took me a while to ever start hitting anything. I finally used the FORCE and got 10 of those pesky aliens. How many can you hit?

Billy Jack

I’m gonna take my right foot, and hit you on the right side of your face, and there ain’t a thing you can do about it…

Roberto

I’m terrible at this game, but it’s fun – beats work anyway. Sounds like the Galactic Empire is surveying Huntington for its next invasion site. You guys should probably call Mel Gibson; he’s been through this before.

Doug Jones

If you get any unusual lightning storms… run for cover… the aliens are coming. At least that’s how War of the Worlds started.

Dennis Jones

I am wearing my aluminum foil anti-alien hat as we speak…

Doug Jones

Good thinking, Den… I think wearing SocMo pants would also help repel them… you KNOW they are after your Krispy Kremes…

Dennis Jones

…unfortunately, Mary did not send me a pair of Socmo anti-alien pants…

Don Jones

I’m in the middle of a thunderstorm here in Denver yeow. The end is near

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The Online Store

August 4, 2005

SuperStore

Perhaps I should comment on my little online store that mysteriously just appeared one day.

It is a work in progress.

The reason I put a shop up was because a school in San Diego contacted me and wanted some posters. I dont have a warehouse full of inventory, so all I could offer them was a custom product produced via the internet. This tends to be a bit more expensive, but at least a product can be made available this way.

So…

…check out the prices and if there is a piece of my art you would like to have in poster or print form, let me know and I will try to make it available to you there.

The Comments

Doug Jones

Huh… when I try to draw a house, it usually ends up looking just like this! Nice job of shameless promotion, by the way! Does your superstore have a little snack area?

Dennis Jones

I would love to have an entire house built like this…

Don Jones

Seems if I remember right… some of your construction structures ended up looking like this Den. That play structure you built at your lake home in Kimberling was one unique piece. Many incongruent angles like your Super Store here

Dennis Jones

hmmm… yes, you are right… I had that custom play structure all figured out on paper… bought the material… assembled all sides together on the ground… but did not factor in the weight of each section… there was no way for me to lift these 12 foot high sections into the air and assemble them all by myself… so I finally just leaned all the sides against each other and bolted them together at the top… it truly was… one custom… deal…

The NFL Is In The Air

August 8, 2005

ColtSketchFinish

I can always tell when a new NFL football season is around the corner because football players start magically showing up in my sketchbooks.

The two teams I root for seem to be mirror images of each other.

The Indianapolis Colts and the Kansas City Chiefs both have great offenses and not so great defenses. The Chiefs addressed their problem this off season by acquiring new defensive players. Dungy and the Colts have been addressing their defensive woes for the past several seasons by drafting young talent. One is a short term fix, the other a long term fix. It will be interesting to see what this season brings for both teams.

One of the best things about living this far north is right around the corner… snow on the ground, a big fire in the fire place, and a NFL football game on TV.

The Comments

Don Jones

With the fire, snow and football game you’ve got the trappings of one awesome nap. I might suggest a warm mug of cocoa. (not to be confused with hot chocolate which sounds cheap and fattening.)

Banshee

The Colts will be able to find some of that snow up in New England… We’ll leave a light on for ya’. FOWA: week of 4-10-05 “Sometimes I forget what I am doing. When I come back to consciousness, I find the Colts still can’t beat the Patriots. 😉 Seriously: Here’s looking forward to some good games between the two [notice I say “games” because I get the feeling we will play more than once this year.]

Dennis Jones

New England lost some key players and coaches this off season… of course, they lost almost their entire secondary last season and the Colts still couldnt beat them… so… should make for some interesting football when the two teams meet again this year…

Dennis Jones

my favorite team is the bengals

Dennis Jones

…that last comment came from my youngest son Pete…

…it reminds me of way back when my boys were little… before the NFL season got started that year we made a pilgrimage to Canton, Ohio and the Pro Football Hall of Fame… after touring the place we were all getting stuff in the souvenir shop and Pete proclaimed he was not a Chiefs fan like us… he was a Bengals fan… (the Bengals were, of course, a terrible team), so we all had a good laugh and let him buy a Bengals hat…

…that very season the Bengals got good and ended up in the Super Bowl playing the 49ers…

..so if Pete is bringing the Bengals up outa the blue… ya might want to keep your eyes on them this season…

Don Jones

That rattles the old memory banks- there seems like in the Shepherd of the Hills book and outdoor drama in Branson… there was a character named Pete who ran around loose in the woods and spoke of himself in third person- Pete knows. Obviously Pete knows the NFL with these premonishunz…

marcelo from Brazil!!!

Hey Mr jonnes!!!!! its been a while since the last time i check your website! but hey ,this fooball player is really funny…you know what ? i would like to see how you would draw some of our “footbal” players..hehehe…what you guys call football we call it ” futebol”( soccer)…but soccer is not that popular in the US anyway .But the spirit is just the same: sunday afternoon , beer and barbecue at the backyard , and soccer game on TV!!!!

Dennis Jones

…but probably no snow on the ground during
game time in Brazil, right Marcelo?

Banshee

Maybe a soccer player juggling a Gourd on his foot… I’m looking forward to the Chiefs – Patriots game too. I like the Chiefs [nowhere near as much as I like the Patriots,] and really enjoyed being at their Monday Night match-up last year. Chiefs fans are very nice and now how to “do” football. One of these days I hope to get to a game at The Razor. FOWA: week of 4-10-05

Dennis Jones

…yes, we are very nice fans… last Christmas we went to the Chiefs/Raiders game and very politely watched a drunken Raiders fan fall into the row in front of him… it was almost as entertaining as the football game…

Gourds On The March

August 11, 2005

GourdsOnTheMove

About the only instruction you need to plant a gourd garden is… put the seeds in the ground… get out of the way.

Gourds have tentacles that reach out, wrap around objects, and pull their vines along, so to speak.

Gourds from the Brother Jones Gourd Garden (Northern Division) are on the march at this very moment. Climbing up sunflowers… strangling defenseless flowers… even attacking the almighty riding lawn mower. Is nothing sacred? We have barricaded ourselves in the house for fear that we are next to fall to these marauding pillagers.

Wait… whats that creeping under the door…

oh, no… can it be… no…NO…

it’s a… IT’S A GOURD TENTACLE…

YEEEAAAAAAaaaAAAAA……..

The Comments

Keegan Jones

Haha! That is like a mini-jungle in the convenience of your back yard.

Don Jones

I say arm yourself with a machete… and hack as you mow.

Dennis Jones

Thunderstorms, Hail, Tornadoes… we had it all last Saturday… screens were ripped out of our screened in porch… lawn chairs were scattered everywhere… sunflowers blown over and lying on the ground… and tragedy of tragedies… gourd trellises and gourd plants all but ripped right out of the ground… fortunately for the Brother Jones Gourd Gardens (Northern Division) we planted half a gazillion plants this season just in case a scenario like this presented itself…

Doug Jones

… what about Toto and Auntie Em?

Don Jones

Nothing worse that a screenless screened-in porch. Half a bazillion gourd plants gone and only a half a gazillion left. I believe you need some sort of government grant to get you through.

Dennis Jones

…didn’t we vote at the last Brother Jones Bored Meeting to accept applications for Brother Jones Disaster Relief Grants?… where are the forms I need to fill out for one of those?

Doug Jones

I see another grand opportunity for the “Fleecing of America” here. I’ll have a GRANT… hold the pickle.

Don Jones

The farmers down here just got a Drought Relief Grant so they can dig more wells… The farmers are ticked cause it limits them to acquiring water when in reality they need to BUY HAY for food.

Doug Jones

Didn’t we submit a Krispy Kreme Grant at our last meeting? What ever became of that?

Doug Jones

Hay for food? Doesn’t sound too tasty to me… can they get some Ranch Dressing thrown in to kick it up a notch?… BAM!

Don Jones

We have even encountered some drought ramifications with our little well. On occastions, some air is appearing in our water. This indicates the pump is creating a tornado like funnel in the well and sucking down some air. We have instituted the emergency NO WATERING plan. Can tolerate DRY SOCKETS but not a DRY WELL.

Dennis Jones

wow… I have been downloading Real Player all afternoon with my lightning fast dial up modem connection so I can listen to sports radio on the internet and look at all the fascinating stuff I’ve missed out on… hmmm… ok, well then… I’m glad I was able to contribute to the farm report… and, uh… I think I will… go… download something else off the internet….

Championship Mojo

August 16, 2005

ChampMOJO

What you have heard is true… NFL Championships follow me wherever I go. It doesn’t seem to matter how bad the team is when I arrive in the state, it becomes good when I get there… and then it wins the Super Bowl.

I grew up in the Missouri Ozarks and during that time the Kansas City Chiefs went to two Super Bowls, thanks, (of course), to the fact that I grew up in the state during that time. As you can see, the Dennis Jones Championship Mojo was kicking in even at this early age. I left the state and the Chiefs have never returned to the big game. Sorry Chiefs.

I moved to the Dallas/Ft Worth area the year the Cowboys fired Tom Landry. During my first season in Texas, that team won only one game and lost fifteen. Three Super Bowl wins later I decided it was time for me to move on. I had done about all I could do for the Cowboys. The team fell apart when I left the state. Sorry Dallas.

When we moved to Indiana, the Colts were another one win, fifteen loss team. Anyone that pays attention to football knows how much I have improved the team since moving into the state. Is this the year the Colts move past New England to claim the Vince Lombardi Trophy?

I believe my track record speaks for itself.

The Comments

Don Jones

I was all pumped for some Monday Night Preseason football last night… but to no avail. I ended up watching The Titans movie deal. I took a straw vote and you’re out of the Hall of Fame. Did you notice our draft is set for a week after the season starts?

Dennis Jones

hmmm… no I didn’t… thats different… but I still like the way there is a playoff at the end…

Doug Jones

I need some help… can one of you send me a cheat sheet? I need to climb outta the cellar this year…

Dennis Jones

Hey… I already told you Rex Grossman would be a great pick up for your team THIS season… he’s supposed to be the next Brett Favre…

Don Jones

I believe you can just let the AUTO DRAFTER kick in for you Douger and you’ll get the best players available according to their cheat sheets… I’m going with it. No use wasting any brain power on this… Dennis always wins anyhow. NFL Football is his Jones.

Dennis Jones

I’m using the Auto-Drafter… all I ever do is take the next highest guy on the list anyway… why not let the computer do all the work and then we can gripe, complain and blame the darn computer for our inevitable upcoming league failures…

Don Jones

It’s sort of an auto fantasy football league… no cost, no thinkin’, no problem. What fun!

Dennis Jones

…pretty much the same reasons I watch tv…

Doug Jones

I was going to auto draft all along… just trying to get some chatter going…. We could just flip a coin and see who wins the season. That’d be even more better!

Outa Coffee

August 18, 2005

OutaCoffee

I’ve always said there is only one thing worse than waking up to find the fire department burning down houses in your neighborhood… and thats waking up to find you used up all your coffee yesterday morning and forgot to get any more. This is the dilemma I find myself in today.

This morning I was forced to resort to my emergency backup system (those little flavored international instant coffees)… but this is no substitute for the real thing.

Sure, I could get in the car and go to the store and buy some more coffee, but that would require extra effort on my part and I am just not willing to make that kind of extra effort at this point in my life…

…so I am going to stay put here in my studio and hope that coffee magically appears downstairs in the next few hours… because if that doesn’t happen… today is going to get real ugly for me real quick.

The Comments

Don Jones

If you stare into those eyes for very long your face will take on the same expression. The ultimate breakfast of Illustrators.

Roberto

Hey Dennis, perhaps you could do what my son Jake did last night & brew some tea on the stove…for about 30 minutes – should be strong enough by then to not only awake someone from a stupor, but even perhaps grow some fuzz on top o’ the chrome domage.

Doug Jones

If the coffee fairy doesn’t appear soon, try eating that international coffee out of the tin with a spoon. I predict you will be looking exactly like your plate by noon….

Dennis Jones

11:15… coffee… must have… gasp… coffee

Don Jones

I’d hate to be driving on the same streets of Huntington as Den when he makes his coffee pilgrimage to Wal-Mart. A throbbing coffee deprived cerebellum tends to make one mash the old metal.

Dennis Jones

1:30… Karen and I took Pete out for lunch and I forgot to get coffee while I was out…

WHAT WAS I THINKING?

Doug Jones

without coffee… you CAN’T think

Don Jones

without coffee you have no personality.

Dennis Jones

2:35…… I cant think of anything to say…

Don Jones

Call Peter and have him bring you some coffee from the golf course.

Dennis Jones

. . .—-* _ _ __*… **. . . . …………..

Doug Jones

Dennis: This coffee taste like MUD! Pete: it was just ground this morning!

Don Jones

SOMEBODY GET THE DEFIBRILLATOR!!! C-L-E-A-R

Dennis Jones

!! >^>>* * …* …* . . . . . . . . . . .

Doug Jones

………………………………………………………..

Dennis Jones

6:00 am… the next morning… still no coffee in the house…

I raise the white flag and drive to the store to buy more… STARBUCKS IS ALMOST TEN DOLLARS A BAG??!!! Thats almost enough to make you give up your coffee jones….

almost…

Don Jones

I feel your financial pain. Starbucks has us right where they want us. This little insight and $3.95 will get you a cup of their coffee. (and it won’t be a grand)

Doug Jones

Wally World used to be the cheapest place to buy Starbucks… sometimes I find it cheaper at Tarzhea. But lately I noticed that Wally had upped the price. I need to talk to an associate about that. For those in Rio Linda…. Wally World = Wal*Mart – Tarzhea = Target – associate= fancy name for Wal*Mart employee

Roberto

Wally World – always low prices -Always. Always low wages – Always. Always a three-ring circus no matter what time of day or night you visit. Always. KC Royals a perennial loser as long as Wally world boy David Glass owns them. Always. See what happens when I exceed my threshold of coffee intake?

Doug Jones

So, Den… how many pots of coffee have you downed today?

Don Jones

I know for a fact he downed a big cup of Espresso Roast on Tuesday evening in the Brother Jones Javahhh! Bar. He can handle his caffeine.

Hot Dog

August 29, 2005

Dogs

While in Romania this summer I couldn’t help but notice that there were an awful lot of dogs… everywhere.

Instead of taking pictures of people, I took pictures of dogs. I seem to have lost most of my dog shots but here are a few.

This leads me to the point of this journal. Don Jones is the proud new owner of not one, but TWO DOGS! And these are not small breed dogs… I would guesstimate them to be hundred pounders when full grown. Congratulations Don. This is sure to make great journal posting material in the very near future.

The Comments

Don Jones

These dogs are scary and therefore I won’t be returning to this page.

Doug Jones

I agree… they all seem to be saying “what are YOU lookin’ at?… you lookin’ at me?”

Dennis Jones

yes… the trick here was to snap the picture and then quickly get your leg outa the way before they took a chunk out of it…

Don Jones

AYYYIEEE! I thought I would check the Den Journal and the scary, deceptive, killer-friendly dogs are still here! Reminds me of the time Doug was petting the neighbor’s weiner dog. I get my courage to go up and pet it as well and the thing jumps on me and bites me in the thigh. I had jeans on and it didn’t break the skin but boy did it SCARE the dickens out of me.

Dennis Jones

…ah yes, the scary wiener dog… you certainly would not want to turn your back on one of those vicious beasts…

Doug Jones

reminds me of that great line from Pink Panther… “Does your little doogie bite?”

Dennis Jones

…did you see where Steve Martin is going to be Cluesou in the new Pink Panther movies?

Don Jones

yes of course… we meet again.

Don Jones

These dogs are killin’ me.

Dennis Jones

…well, if you enjoyed them today you will enjoy them again tomorrow because I’ve got nothing new to post…

Doug Jones

I’d like to see that gourd garden again, myself.

Dennis Jones

…ok… I’ll go outside now and take a picture…

Banshee

I am noticing only three colors in the comments section here… Hey you guys might find this interesting: conanvsbear.comA strategically placed web address might pull more visitors… FOWA: week of 4-10-05 Sometimes I forget to visit brotherjones.com… when I come back, it is the same nonsense that brought me there in the first place.

Dennis Jones

…good thinkin’, Banshee… thats what we pay you the big money for…

www.yahoo.com

Eric Nyberg

Yeah for Romanian dogs!! I think they would be so proud to be pictured on such a quailty web page!! Hope you both are doing great!

Dennis Jones

Hey Eric… good to hear from you! How did the rest of your east european bongo tour go?

Eric Nyberg

Quite well. I spent most of my time in Braila and Insurtsei but got to spend a day in Bucharest also. Between my world travels and my djembe’s, I think I deserve double stamped frequent flyer miles!