Official Draft Day Report Card

May 1, 2006

BenRothlesburger

…2004 Draft Day Bust Ben Roethlisberger…

Every year I enjoy listening to the “experts” predict what players will be drafted by different NFL teams. It’s fun on draft day to listen to these same “experts” analyze why the NFL teams took different players than the ones they said they would.

What I find most interesting is seeing the “experts” post report cards afterwards on how the draft went. They give each team a letter grade on how well they drafted. I suppose this letter grade is contingent on how closely the team picked in relation to the “experts” predictions for them.

Well, not to be outdone, I now give you the Official Brother Jones Report Card grade… B- …maybe a C+…

..I base this grade on absolutely nothing…

…just like the “experts”.

The Comments

Don Jones

The NFL excitement was in the air on Saturday. I tuned in to my five local antennae stations but no DRAFT DAY coverage. I give the K.C. Chiefs a solid B for going out and rounding up some DE by the name of Tamba Hali. I like the name and believe this boy can play.

Dennis Jones

I’ll have to give Tamba Hali a B+ for being drafted… but I am afraid I will have to give him a D- for having a hard name for me to pronounce…

I also give Dons comment a C+…

…and Doug a D- just for fun…

Don Jones

Doug’s D- is for desertion. He’s been a no-show since last Friday. I give you an “R” for this awesome Rothslithburger drawing.

Dennis Jones

…well …sorry to say, Don, I have to give you a D- for not being able to spell Roethlisberger… but I give Roethlisberger an F for having an impossible name to spell…

Doug Jones

D- Doug reporting in…. The Teen Titans and all of Nashville seem to be THRILLED with their new draft pick, Vince Young. Word on the street is McNair is trying to get a deal with the Ravens… it’s a weird world…

Doug Jones

I’m boycotting BrotherJones today to support my fellow Hickspanics.

Dennis Jones

…oh, I see… you walked off the Brother Jones job site today… I’m afraid I’m going to have to change your grade from a D- to an F for that… sorry…

Doug Jones

F? …. F? …. that’s Fantastic!

Don Jones

I was thinking Vince Young used to be in Pure Prairie League and married Amy Grant a few years back. Now he’s been drafted!!??? I give him a grade of V for versatile. Had dinner with Michael Card last night… O.K. I was just in the back of the room and saw him at a distance. I did get a door prize of his new C.D.

Roballoo

The stunned look on the player’s face looks like he was hit in the helmet with a football.

Roballoo

Michael Card ~ He’s a talented little chap. Recently, I wrote some new words to his song “So little time…” Whole lotta food. So little time. It’s a church potluck, and there’s a long line.

Don Jones

I’m sure if Michael heard this rendition he would incorporate it in his concerts I give this comment a strong B+…

Dennis Jones

…I think that lyric would have worked much better if it were switched around…

It’s a church potluck, and there’s a long line…
Whole lotta food, so little time…

…so I am going to have to grade him down a bit for that… B-

Don Jones

Second verse… I know it’s wrong, and certainly a sin- But Uncle Roy’s up front, So I’m cuttin’ in.

Roballoo

Good one. maybe Mr. card will hire us to work on his next album!

bernardfromtheyard

Hey guys, What a cool site… I give myself a D- for not being named Jones but I love football almost as much as Dennis’ art! How much to buy a Big Ben Parody design for our T-Shirt store?

Doug Jones

Darn!!! what’s going on with LOST? I am still in shock over last nights episode!

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It’s All Over… For Now…

May 5, 2006

Wacom1

The bluntness of garish and unsubtle color…

Wacom2

…with the excruciating inability to execute fine detail.

Yes, my mini excursion into the world of computer generated artwork has now officially come to an end. I took the borrowed Wacom Tablet back to my friends house this week. These four images are pretty much the only things I have to show for my little venture into the unknown.

For me, painting on the computer with the Wacom felt a lot like painting on a piece of glass with a blunt stick… not very subtle. I dont know how people do fine detail this way. The whole experience really just made me appreciate the qualities of traditional painting that much more…

…so it’s back to paint in little metal tubes, squirrel hair tied to the end of a stick, and water for me… for now.

The Comments

Bucky Jones

Good for you, Dennis! More power to you!

Hennie

Well…hope you’ll give it a try in the near future. It takes some time getting used to 🙂 But you don’t really need to go that route. You’re a master at what you do and if it aint broke, don’t fix it. Love those digital paintings by the way. Cheers H

bernardfromtheyard

Dennis, I guess misery loves company because I’m nearly in the same exact place as you with the computer. Only difference is I gave up on all the detail a few years back and settled for changing my art to match my software, ram and computer knowledge. Now, as I’m trying to go back to the heavy detail I once did by hand I’m still wackin’ it out with a wacom but don’t know if I want to stick it out or do what you just did…it’s a cross between the old dog and the old tricks. enjoy your sharing this with us though!

Don Jones

I think your customer friendly relationship and purchasing program with Cheap Joe’s would suffer if you continued on in the Wacom direction.

Doug Jones

yeah… Cheap Joe has probably dispatched a couple of guys to Huntington to have a “friendly little talk” with you, Den… beware of concrete shoes

Don Jones

Watch those knee caps too. Better yet, just leave town for a few days. Get on that mower and scram!

Dennis Jones

…if I’m going to make it down to the big Keeg-o-rama Shin-Dig next weekend I better get the riding lawn mower tuned up and be hitting the road on Monday…

Don Jones

Don’t forget to check the SLICK 50 level and over pressure the tires for the ultimate in gas mileage acquisition.

Doug Jones

These actually look pretty good. I’m impressed. I think the key to detail may be in resolution. If you have a very high res file you can zoom in and work pixel by pixel if you want.

Don Jones

The key to detail is LASIK.

Dennis Jones

…one thing I am really curious about in this whole computer vs. traditional painting deal is… supposedly, the big plus for computer generated artwork is that it is SO fast… what exactly is SO fast? (this is a serious question, by the way)… what kind of time does it take for someone to generate a piece of “arty” looking artwork on a computer?

bernardfromtheyard

Dennis, I would say that IT ( most artwork ) is done much faster on the computer than by hand ( for 97.5% ) of the professional artists out there. The problem lies with that 2.5% of the artists whose work is way up there at your level…and with the detail your generating. I think the mouse swings back in your favor ( time wise ) to do it by hand when the detail that you throw down comes into play.

bernardfromtheyard

Part 2: I’ve been kicking myself for years for not drawing/painting my work on a Mac (practically hiding from all the MacAddicts out there) and trying harder to get the same detail as my paintings. But after spending a little time at your site I’m actually feeling better about both mediums and last night (for the first time in years) I actually walked into a art store and started looking into buying paint supplies again and considering a dual existence between the two. Sorry, Doug & Don I know this is a funny blog and you all are a riot but sometimes we need a good cry in our brush cleaner.  😦   Sike! 🙂

Dennis Jones

…well, I don’t have an axe to grind here one way or the other… I am just real curious as to how people do the detailed “arty” stuff with a computer… a typical job for me is to illustrate a portion of a story or article… last week I did one that had a U-Haul truck, 4 other cars, people showing in all the cars and a guy on a bike… I have no idea how I would have even attempted something like that on a computer… or how long it would have taken if I did… I just don’t see how I could ever use a computer on an actual job to do illustration…

Event Magazine Winner! …1973

May 8, 2006

EventMag

…my early start into the competitive world of art…

Yes, that’s right! I won big! !SECOND PLACE! …in the national EVENT Magazine Art Contest!… in 1973.

EVENT Magazine was a “leisure” reading magazine published for youth by Southern Baptists. My big brother Doug encouraged me to enter this contest because there were actual CASH PRIZES to be won and the competition was usually… well… weak, to put it kindly. With visions of winning that twenty dollar grand prize dancing in my head, I set to work to create an award winning piece of art.

Much to my surprise, all the other contestants submitted artwork with religious themes. This makes perfect sense being that EVENT Magazine was a religious publication. I (of course), being clueless at the time, submitted a picture of a couple of football players pounding each other. In hindsite, I don’t believe this was exactly the “theme” the judges were looking for. I suppose I was fortunate to even make the second place finish.

To enter the contest I also had to submit a picture of myself and write a brief statement about my “artistic” approach to life. I was not aware that I had an “artistic” approach to life, so I asked my Mom what I should write. The statement I wrote (next to my picture above) is pretty much the exact quote that came out of my Mother’s mouth. Of course, the part about drawing while I watched football on TV is totally untrue, (perhaps another reason for the poor finish in the religious magazines art contest), but thankfully, I was able to fill up my allotted space on the page with several lines of meaningless text…

…pretty much the same exact thing I do now on a regular basis here at Brother Jones.

The Comments

Don Jones

If you would’ve added that crazy fan in the background holding the John 3:16 sign you would’ve WON! I would wager you were wearing a pair of Florshiems in this striking 3/4 glamour shot.

Nick Jones Everybody

you should have just made up some symbolism behind it…. you know like you do now… The lineman is satan or something….

Dennis Jones

…hmmm …I thought Satan played for the Buffalo Sabres…

Doug Jones

Ahem… SAY, wasn’t this your FIRST printed piece… which launced your professional career?

Don Jones

Satan wears a smile. Sly devil.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Doug, this was my first professionally published piece of artwork… which launched me into the wildly exciting, glamorous period of time I spent doing caricatures in amusement parks…

…and, Don, the whole “Prince of Darkness” schtick Satan has going on really makes him the intimidating hockey player that he is today…

Don Jones

If you had only thrown some gouache into your “black and white drawing” you would’a won. When did this piece come out again? Last year? Your lasik surgery makes you look thirty years younger!

Roballoo

So that’s how you got started, eh? I remember those student art issues in Event. Never bold enough to send anything in myself. That’s why fame and fortune have eluded me! I recall they interviewed Brother Doug once. I still have a copy of that issue somewhere…

Doug Jones

BURN IT! …NOW!

Doug Jones

P-P-P-P-P-Please…..

Roballoo

What’s it worth to you? maybe I should auction it on Ebay?

Dennis Jones

…Roballoo, if you want to email me a copy of that cover I would be happy to publish it here on my page… it sounds like Doug would really like to see it again…

Don Jones

This is ironic… I was cleaning out an assortment of printed material a few days back and ran across the Doug pushing a big pen/brush on the cover document. Can’t remember if I tossed it or not. What was I thinking? This was a prized piece of Brother Jones archival material. I propose making Dennis the designated curator of all BJ junk.

Doug Jones

Good job, Don… Toss it out, Toss it out, …WAYYYYYY out!

bernardfromtheyard

Dennis, On the subject of Lasik surgery: Do you really go from needing glasses to not needing then at all? And, how long of a shut down (out of work) am I looking at?

Dennis Jones

…well, that all depends on what you are currently wearing glasses for… everyone loses their short vision as they grow older and need some sort of reading glasses for help on that one…

I used to wear glasses all the time, the top half to see long with, the bottom part to see short with… after Lasik I have better than perfect long vision… so I am totally out of glasses… unless I need to read… or do art… for which I use reading glasses…

So I am halfway out of glasses…

There is a short vision eye proceeder that can fix that, too… my wife had that done and it seems to be working perfectly for her… but the two procedures cannot be done at the same time…

Dennis Jones

…as far as being out of work… I would say the day you get the Lasik and the day after should be all… things get back to normal pretty quick…

Before they worked on me I had to sign the customary waiver that said if they accidently shot a laser beam thru the back of my head… well… they weren’t liable… signing the waiver was the worst part of the entire experience for me…

bernardfromtheyard

Dennis, thanks for that in debt answer and I was doing fine until your wrote part two: the Laser! Nah, I’m just kdding sounds like a good thing to have done only I can see long but need my glasses to see short. And shorter is moving out further and further as I get older so I’m not sure what to do. One nice thing about getting older…I don’t seem to care as much what I look like but if they start fitting me with JoePa glasses I may have to reconsider. thanks, bernard

Don Jones

When I put my reading glasses on while I eat my food portions appear much larger. As a result I feel like have eaten more. I’ve lost over 120 lbs. with these Buffet Buster Super Specs.

Doug Jones

Bernardo You sound like a candidate for the BrotherJones Do It Yourself Lasik kit. It is available for $19.95 from our store. Why waste time… and GAS… going to some wacky doctor when you can do it yourself while watching Oprah. Act now… limited time offer!

bernardfromtheyard

Don and Doug, I used to be so cool in school and now I must be turning into the parent my kids warned me about because…I’m sitting here (at work) laughing out loud. Oh man, people probably think you guys are artists but comedians are more like it! It’s a good thing I don’t read these blogs while I’m eating oreo’s and milk…can’t stand it! Anyway, my kids tell em that LOL when no one’s arounds is not cool but don’t they realize it’s a health risk to hold it in?

The Straight Story

May 11, 2006

StraightStory1

…leaving Huntington…

StraightStory2

…road warrior…

StraightStory3

…semi’s are tough…

I fixed my riding mower and am now driving to Missouri to see my little brother Don. His oldest son, Keegan, is done with his book learnin’ and they are throwing a party for him on Saturday. I am hoping to make Indianapolis by midnight tonight and St. Louis by Saturday morning.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I see you are towing your own stash of Krispy Kremes… are you gonna SHARE?…

Don Jones

You’ll arrive sooner if you get that bad boy in the passing lane.

Dennis Jones

…I have a little laptop strapped to the hood of the mower so I can monitor Brother Jones as I drive but there seems to be some gaps in the free broadband service between cities…

Don Jones

Over inflate your tires and that should help the reception or possibly paint your teeth Navy and fire up the Blue Tooth.

Betsy

I’ll be sure and watch for you on the side of the road between St. Louis and Springfield on Saturday!

Don Jones

Bring a shovel along to scrape him up, Bets.

Keegan Jones

Do you mean Saturday NEXT YEAR? Guess you could always hitch a ride with a hillbilly truck driver…

Roy

Keegan….don’t call us hillbilly, we are Ozark Americans

4 8 15 16 23 42

May 17, 2006

TestPattern

The Comments

Roballoo!

I’m standing. Now what do I do?

Doug Jones

Have a seat, Roballoo…. let me interpret this for you. The numbers mean that Dennis is LOST… but we knew that, right? The test pattern means Denny is on vacation. Stay tuned…..

Don Jones

I have a feeling this is going to be one long and extended coffee break for Den.

Doug Jones

you betchum, Red Ryder!

Don Jones

I believe he is participating in the Romanian version of the Amazing Race.

bernardfromtheyard

I guess this is a Missouri version of a TV stand By? definitely more elaborate than the ones we used to see on the old B&W here in the east. You guys must have gotten them more often?

Roballoo

Hmmm… Those look like crop circles. Maybe he was abducted?

Doug Jones

… it was the OTHERS…

Don Jones

I wonder if Big Chief is still producing writing tablets? I’m impressed that he some how got this “Stand By” endorsement deal.

Roballoo

C’mon everybody now… When the night has come- And the land is dark- And the moon is the only light we’ll see- No I won’t be afraid- no I won’t be afraid- Just as long as you stand- stand by me..”

bernardfromtheyard

Or…Stand By Your Man, dunt, dun-na. Give him two hands to hold on…………..

Don Jones

I’ve been checking the live webcam from Romania and still no sign of Dennis. Hope he hasn’t lost his passport.