Mr. Safety

June 1, 2006

MrSafety1

…the same old “something bouncing off head” idea…

MrSafety2

…the same old “carrying something too heavy” idea…

MrSafety3

…the same old “oops, the crane gotcha” idea…

I came across one of the very first “professional” jobs that I ever did the other day. It was a little safety booklet for an electrical cooperative. There was no date on it, but I must have done it sometime in the late 70’s.

Growing up, I was the kid in the family that slammed his arm through a glass window and had to have it sewn back on, (minus that major vein in the center)… was throwing rocks at the creek with friends and took one in the head, (lots of stitches)… made an outstanding leap to catch a whiffle ball but landed on a shard of tin sticking out of the ground and almost cut my arm off… again, (had it and the muscle sewn back together)… was not paying attention and ran over a car on my motorcycle, (leg broken in three places, fractured knee and ankle, leg bone jammed up through the hip socket). And these were just my “major” accidents…

…so it must be somewhat of an oddity to my brothers and sisters that I have been doing safety posters on and off now for the past thirty years.

It also seems that I haven’t had an original idea in the past thirty years either, as shown in the side by side comparisons above. I guess I am doing the same old thing year after year. None the less, I would appreciate it if you would refer to me on this particular blog page entry as… Mr. Safety.

(you can see more of my Osha Safety Posters HERE)

The Comments

Don Jones

Mr. Safetee …Nice to see you survived your extended vacation. With all your ongoing accidents, at least you meet your deductable each and every year.

Dan Lietha

Mr. Safetee… You’ve evolved your intelligent designs into quite the wonderful creations! Very good! 🙂

Dennis Jones

…I did have a pretty humble start into the world of illustration as my first safety booklet artwork clearly shows…

Don Jones

Dennis, don’t sell yourself short there those were top-knotch drawings in their day.

bernardfromtheyard

I agree, and besides not every customer can afford the four color process print job that it would take to capture your beautiful color renderings so many times Black & Whites work out just fine.

Roballoo

Hey Mr. Safe Tea ~ George Herriman of Krazy Kat fame basically did the same joke of mouse, throwing brick at kat for over 30 years. I’d say you’re in good company! Picasso had his blue period you have your safety period.

Doug Jones

Den… buy a new camera, take some random pictures, then write some unrelated copy and post it. It’s the bomb!

Dennis Jones

OK!…I’ll be right back with something!…

Don Jones

Come on now … It may be a tad disjointed but at least it’s new stuff to look at. Like Donald Fagan of Steely Dan said, “the lyrics don’t really matter.”

Don Jones

Come on now … It may be a tad disjointed but at least it’s new stuff to look at. Like Donald Fagan of Steely Dan said, “the lyrics don’t really matter.”

Don Jones

My double vision is back…

Doug Jones

right you are, Don! I was just passing along the vision to Den… different is good. anything will do….

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Jones Street

June 6, 2006

JonesStreet

…Waiter! Bring me a crocodile sandwich… and make it snappy!

Yesterday I got out of bed, drank some coffee and did some stuff. Today I think I will do the same… but perhaps I will add some different stuff to the mix… we’ll see.

The Comments

Don Jones

Fantastico. From the looks of these birds you probably have some powerwashing to do around the homestead.

Dennis Jones

…Nasa has certainly been quiet lately… what’s up with that?

Doug Jones

speaking of LOST… I watched the season finale again yesterday and it is SO good. Finally some movement in the story line. I need one of those Fail Safe keys for my garage. I could turn the key and after bright lights and loud noises… all the junk would be gone. … but what about the dinosaurs… when they gonna explain THAT?

Dennis Jones

…Moo caught a rabbit yesterday… whatta dog! …kinda stinks for the rabbit tho…

Doug Jones

a ukulele has four strings

Dennis Jones

…at noon I saw a lady on TV that makes pictures out of dryer lint… creepy, yet strangely intriguing…

Don Jones

I have fallen and I can’t get up.

Dennis Jones

…I have been keeping an eye on the Colts during the off-season… hardly any of them in jail yet… I therefore predict a good season for them this year…

Don Jones

DATELINE- Nashville, TN Steve McNair to announce his departure from the misdirected Titans this afternoon and his deliverance into the Promise Land of the NFL east, the Baltimore Ravens. (conditional on him passing a physical) He’s never completely 100 percent, is he?

Dennis Jones

…I had to join MYSPACE.COM to be able to look at some pictures Nick told me I needed to look at there… my name is TORONTOSAURUS and I have no friends on that site… much the same situation I have going here…

Don Jones

My take on MYSPACE is that it’s a vast human wasteland. I’M IN!!!

Doug Jones

that’s probablly where our 8 visitors went… I’d rather hang out at Blogger myself… higher class of geeks there.

Doug Jones

yeah… the BIG news is McNair has left the Teen Titans for the Ravenoids. Hope he does good there. EVERYBODY in Nashville likes him and hates to see him go… but as they are saying… business is business….

Dennis Jones

I posted a FABULOUS VIDEO ON MYSPACE that I shot MYSELF!… but I think you have to sign up for a MYSPACE space to be able to see it…

…hmmm …would it be worth it to see the video? …or not?

Doug Jones

not

Doug Jones

hmmmm… that looked a lot like SocMo walking out of a revolving door… followed by NJE… two celebrities!

Dennis Jones

…did you have to sign up for MYSPACE to see the video or were you able to just view it?

Doug Jones

no sign up… it just worked! …my lucky day

Roballoo

Don’t worry Dennis, I’m your friend.

Dennis Jones

…man …I cant find my scissors anywhere …and there’s no one else in the house to blame the missing scissors on …so I guess I must have lost them …nothing worse than losing an important item AND not having anyone to blame it on…

Doug Jones

look over on that table where you were just cutting out paper dolls…

Don Jones

Nothing that a Dremmel tool couldn’t handle in its place.

Dennis Jones

…I found my missing scissors… they were on my drawing table… under a pile of stuff… I gotta get better organized…

Don Jones

You might check out that new software iBlind. Helps navigate around for all that stuff that’s right in front of you yet still can’t see. It works seamlessly with iDeaf. And you probably guessed the third piece of the trifecta software… iDumb.

Hockey Talk 06/12

June 12, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

HockeyTalk

…waiting for the “GodLike” boost of energy…

Here is an actual question I sent to my son’s blog site…

Dear Nick Is Good For Oklahoma…
I have a hockey game tomorrow night, but I seem to be even older and slower than I was last year… is there anything I can do to remedy this intolerable situation??

Here is Nick’s actual response to my actual question…

Dear “Dennis”…
Thank you for your question. I suggest a heavy diet of Krispy Kremes and Mountain Dew right before the game. (If you are short of cash, Mountain Lightning will work) This will ensure a God like boost of energy, and allow a nice crash after the game when you are hoping to sleep… Hope this helps.

Willing to try anything to improve my game, I pulled into Steak n’ Shake and grabbed an Orange Freeze right before my game on Friday night. It wasn’t exactly donuts and Mtn. Dew, but since it’s an ice cream drink I figured it would have an equivalent amount of sugar in it.

Nick’s advice worked really well. I had energy to burn… until my third shift when I pulled a hamstring. This effectively meant I only had one leg to skate on for the rest of the game. If I were a horse they would have had to shoot me… but I played the rest of the game anyway. Quite honestly, my game doesn’t look much different whether I’m running at full strength or only skating on one leg.

So what have I learned from this experience? When you play in a hockey league where you are older than absolutely everyone else by 25 years or more, nothing is going to improve your game.

I also learned that I sure do enjoy having an Orange Freeze right before a hockey game. Next week I think I will have an Orange Freeze before AND after the game.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I vote for having an Orange Freeze and skipping the game… but that is just me… hey.. did you get that 24 tape? I paid extra bucks to try to get it to you before the weekend… but it was US Postal Service….

Dennis Jones

Yes, I got the tape… thanks a bunch for doing that… are you going to Mtn. Grove any time this summer? If so I will meet you there and pay you back… I’ll take you to Steak n’ Shake for an Orange Freeze or something…

Don Jones

I’ve heard the Key Lime Pie donuts from K.K. works wonders for injured hammies.

Dennis Jones

…I have another game this Friday night… I’ll let you know if that’s true or not, Don…

Don Jones

Use a whole tube of Ben-Gay too. The aroma will clear the way for a little one-on-one goalie action.

Nick Jones Everybody

The before and after method is def. the best way to avoid energy and provide for maximum hockey ability… Orange Freezes have been my drink of choice post-hockey game for years…

Doug Jones

… never had an Orange Freeze… but now you’ve flung a cravin’ on me…

Dennis Jones

…so yer jonesin’ for an Orange Freeze eh, Doug?

Don Jones

Have the boys at Steak ‘N SHake throw in a few ibuprofrens with that post game Orange Freeze and you will be relaxed and pain free by the time you get home.

Doug Jones

Don plays golf… Dennis plays hockey… and me?… I go to the YMCA on my lunch break and drink free coffee while THINKing about exercise. I call it THINKercize. Today while I was deep into my THINKercize session, I watched a little World Cup action on the large screen TV. Soccer actually looks a lot like hockey to me. That is… hockey played with no pads… or sticks… on a gigantic green pool table. Other than that… it’s just the same.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Doug, I concur with your comments …my biggest problem with soccer is that you don’t get to wear any cool equipment to play it… in hockey you get to gear up, wear a helmet n’ all kinds of massive padding… great jerseys… even if you stink at playing hockey, you at least get to look good while doing it…

Don Jones

Den, didn’t you come across a place that makes custom hockey jerseys?

Doug Jones

At BrotherJones it isn’t about how you play… it’s about how you LOOK! and Dennis… you… look… MAH-velous out there…

Dennis Jones

…that’s absolutely right, Doug… on BOTH counts… and, Don, all kinds of places make custom hockey jerseys… are you thinking it’s time to order up a dozen or so Brother Jones Winged Logo jerseys? …what numbers do you guys want?

Don Jones

I am liking that new sub-header there Dennis. Continuing from yesterday… who won that hockey game last night? I’m too lazy to search it out … or possibly it’s just the idea of having to leave the safe confines of the Brother Jones site.

Dennis Jones

…I fell asleep in the third period, but I think the Carolina Panthers won and are up in the series 3 to 1…

Don Jones

Let me guess …. you had an Orange Freeze and passed out on the couch?

Dennis Jones

…close …yard work and I passed out on the couch …and I gotta mow this afternoon sometime before it starts raining again…

Battle For Middle Earth

June 14, 2006

Helmet1

…The Gourdsman Warrior Helmet…

Helmet2

…ready for action…

Helmet3

…in the way on the battlefield…

When the call to defend Middle Earth was given, none bothered to contact the Gourdsmen of Huntington Deep.

Gourdsmen were highly skilled craftsmen, but their usefulness on the battlefield was dubious at best. While their lightweight gourd armor allowed them to move quickly in combat zones, (especially in retreat), it unfortunately could barely withstand the attack of even the smallest of trolls armed with whiffle ball bats. Henceforth, Gourdsmen warriors tended to litter the battlefield and create a huge nuisance for all other warring parties.

They were, however, frequently contacted after the battle was over to host victory banquets, as they were quite good at kitchen activities and preparing elegant table decorations.

The Comments

Dan Lietha

At a quick glance, I thought the Green Bay Packers had a new look this season! 🙂

Doug Jones

Cool helmet! I am guessing you uncovered this archaeological find while digging around in your gourd mounds. Good researching on the history… I never read about things like this in my history books at MGHS. So these guys eventually evolved into caterers? Think Martha Stewart has any Huntington Gourdsman blood in her?

Don Jones

I can’t stop grinning about this… You are in your element here Great Gourdsmaster Denny!

Dennis Jones

…unfortunately, Don, I fear that you are right… this does seem to be my element… how embarrassing for my wife n’ kids…

Mandy

I really really really want that helment.

Dennis Jones

…sorry Mandy …it’s now standard gear for me to wear every time I’m wheeling around the yard on my riding lawn mower…

Cheran

Im sure your wife rolles her eyes and goes back in the house at that sight! hehehe

roballoo

It’s gourd-eous! 😛

Hockey Talk 06/19

June 19, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

WaterMoccasins

…just your standard, old time hockey team name…

I have played hockey with the same group of guys for the last 6 or 7 years. The team finally fizzled out over this past winter. We had all been threatening to quit for a long time, but this off-season we finally did it. When this summers hockey league rolled around, I wasn’t going to play at all.

Then I got a call from a friend of my youngest son, asking if Pete and I wanted to play on their hockey team this season. I said, “sorry, but Pete is staying in Oklahoma City this summer and working.” Pete’s friend said,”would YOU like to play on our team, Mr. Jones?” I replied, “you do remember that I am like really, REALLY old don’t you?” He said, “yeh, we remember, but we would still really like for you to play with us.” So against my better judgment I went ahead and said yes.

I have played on a lot of different teams in the past with a lot of different names and was really curious as to what the moniker of this new team was going to be. Maybe a traditional animal name like Penguins, Bruins, or Sharks. Possibly more of a classic name like Wings, Blues, or Leafs. Perhaps something edgier like Avalanche, Wild, or Thrashers. Nope, none of those names for us. Our team name is Water Moccasin Annihilation.

What does this name mean? I have absolutely no idea. I’m afraid to ask. I can only assume that we really, REALLY don’t like snakes. In fact, if a water moccasin should show up at one of our games, I shudder to think of what might happen. Annihilation I suppose.

I only regret that water moccasins don’t play hockey, because if they did there is no doubt in my mind that we would probably annihilate them. Unless, of course, I’m playing defense…

…because if I’m playing defense…

…the snakes just might have a chance.

The Comments

Don Jone

Can’t wait to hear the detailed updates on the Mocs season… Have you managed to pull your other hamstring yet?

Doug Jones

For added excitement, you should play Roethlisberger style… without pads or helmet… Imagine the stories you would have to tell… if you survived…

Dennis Jones

…well, for me, it’s all about the weird stories that surround my hockey games… because I don’t seem to be displaying a whole lot of hockey ability that I can talk about these days…

Don Jones

Behind the scenes stories are the best… give us some locker room gossip too.

Dennis Jones

…I did end up in the penalty box for two minutes in last fridays game… I’m not sure what I got called for… I did hit a guy pretty hard right in front of a referee… he might have dropped the “attempt to terminate with extreme prejudice” call on me…

Doug Jones

so when is the BrotherJones full contact Bocce Ball game? …this summer sometime?

Dennis Jones

…sometime in July I believe… don’t forget to bring your hockey sticks to launch the bocce balls with…

Don Jones

I need to get over to Army Surplus and pick up a helmet and some protection gear.

Dennis Jones

…I’m wearing my Huntington Deep Gourdsman Warriors helmet for the Annual Brother Jones Full Contact Bocce Ball Tournament… you Don will (no doubt) be wearing your Phightin’ Phlegm Phootball helmet… Doug will probably just want to wear his traditional folded newspaper hat to play in again this year…

Doug Jones

I have a feeling that this year I need to add an extra layer of newsprint… and a chin strap

Dennis Jones

…better start practicing your origami…

Don Jones

Enjoyed the Stanley Cup championship game last night. Those hockey players are rugged lookin’.

Doug Jones

hockey? …there was a hockey game last night??

Don Jones

Championship of the WORLD…

Roy

Dennis good to hear that you are still in ‘good’ physical condition. By the way, the room than you and Lynn built at Table Rock is still standing and doing well. Thought you would like to know.

Dennis Jones

…that the room Lynn and I built on Table Rock Lake is still standing could quite possibly be the most shocking thing I have read on Brother Jones to date…

Plane Air Paint Team

June 22, 2006

PlaneAirPaintTeam

…Brother Doug’s team, ready for action…

Brother Doug has finally pulled together his extreme plane air paint squad to compete in this seasons extreme plane air painting league. It is a very competitive team and Doug hopes to bring the championship trophy back home to Nashville this year.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I hope we can beat our rivals this year… the Cabool Plain Cow painters. Last year, you remember, they beat us with a hat trick. They stole our hats… we sunburned our noggins and had to quit

Dennis Jones

…yeh …I wish you would quit bringing that up in your pre-game pep talks…

Don Jones

From the looks of this promotional poster, I have the Ozark’s Jethro Bodene fashion flair goin’ on.

Dennis Jones

…the nice thing about this league is that you can wear basically anything you want… as long as there is a team logo on your chest…

Doug Jones

of course it really doesn’t matter what you wear… a few minutes after the opening kickoff, you are covered with paint…

Dennis Jones

…I can hardly wait to use the official Brother Jones top secret weapon this season… paint ball guns! …the competition will never know what hit ‘em…

Doug Jones

are you shootin’ Alizarin this year or Ultramarine blue?

Dennis Jones

…sardine green…

Don Jones

I’m gonna be packing about a gallon of Holbein Gouache Pearl Gold for the festivities.

Doug Jones

wow… gouache…. that’s playin’ DIRTY! …I love it!

Hockey Talk 06/26

June 26, 2006

HockeyBuddies

…just a friendly game of hockey…

Only one undefeated team was left in our hockey league, the mighty Puckhogs, and we had to play them last Friday night.

It was a tight game and somewhere in the second period while changing lines the puck zipped by me as I came out for my shift. Two of our guys snagged it and headed for the net. I jumped in behind them as a trailer, a risky move for me because I am a defenseman, but it gave us a 3 on 1 break. Unfortunately, we did not bury the puck in the net, it popped out, the other team grabbed it and roared back towards our net.

This was not a good thing. I had gambled as a defenseman, it had not paid off, I was totally out of position, and now the other team was working a 3 on 1 on us. I sprinted all the way back to the other end of the rink, they took a shot (which our goalie kicked to the corner), I swerved and headed for the puck.

At this point I had just used every ounce of strength I had to get back and had no energy left to stop… so I stopped by slamming (really hard) into the boards in the corner. My crash into the boards was so loud that everyone watching in the rink went… oooohh. Unfortunately, a guy from the opposing team who had the puck at the time got caught between me and the boards and the ref gave me a two minute penalty for roughing. Oh, well.

When the game was over I was talking to a couple of guys I knew on the opposing team. They said they did not see the play, but when they heard the huge crash in the corner, they just looked at each other, shook their heads and said, ”…we know who that was.”

…and they were right!

By the way… we won the game 3 to 2. HOO HOO!

The Comments

Don Jones

Man, that’s good stuff. Risks, board crashin’, out-of-control… sounds like your illustration style too! YOU”RE NUMBER ONE! YOU’RE NUMBER ONE!

Doug Jones

BAD refs! They should have given you a 5 minute penalty… then you could have rested more…

Cheran

Hoo Hoo? So does that mean that your name, “Water Maccasin Annihilation”, is bye owl? Congrats!

Dennis Jones

…that’s our dog, Moo, (in the picture) yucking it up with some stray cat…

Don Jones

This post made me do some scripture referencing… The verse from Proverbs makes this illustration that much better. Den, I bet you consider your opponent body-checks into the boards just friendly little induced wounds.

Dennis Jones

…absolutely, and I always try to apologize afterward just in case I hurt anyones feelings…

WeaselBoy Guitar Finally Done

June 28, 2006

WeasekBoyGuitar

…the WeaselBoy Vintage Custom Deluxe…

WeaselboyLive

…the WeaselBoy Summer Tour, July 2006…

This is the guitar I built… sorta. I began working on it back in January. Oh sure, the first part was easy, (taking a power saw to a thirty dollar pawn shop guitar), but then came the hard part… putting it all back together and rewiring it.

I finished all the rewiring back in March and then took it to a professional to fix all the rewiring that I had done since my rewiring didn’t seem to work. Who would have thought you actually needed to know something about electronics to be able to do electronics?

It took several months, but I finally got the WeaselBoy Vintage Custom Deluxe out of the shop and it’s one sweet sounding guitar.

(well, at least it’s a sounding guitar now)

The Comments

Doug Jones

Awesome ax you got there, mister GourdmanWeaselBoyDude! First guitar I believe I have ever seen with a tail. Saweeeeeeeet.

Don Jones

I bet Smoke on the Water never sounded so good. Glad to see Coca-Cola got behind the Weasel ‘06 Summer Tour.

Dennis Jones

…tour bus fires up in just a few minutes… hope the brothers can catch the show on our Missouri stop…

Don Jones

First stop… CRACKER BARREL!!!

roballoo!

Is a California tour through our great state’s In n Out burger joints next? One can only hope.

Doug Jones

WOW… two weeks without changing your page… a new BrotherJones record!!!

Dennis Jones

…man, I am having to pay the piper right now trying to catch up on work I put off in order to make the week and a half WeaselBoy Tour… it’s ten o’clock at night right now and I’m still working…

Doug Jones

yep… those tours are killers. I’ve been dragging around for two days now… need some energies. of course… deadlines are powerful motivators