Spartaweaselcus the Hoplite

October 5, 2009

WzloplisWarrior2

For years I pencilled on watercolor paper because I rendered with watercolor. With my switch to digital coloring I am no longer chained to drawing on that inferior surface.

I’ve recently been experimenting with all kinds of paper to do my pencil work on. I love bristol but it’s a bit pricey. Brother Doug uses laser copy paper. I tried some of that. Not bad. The other day I was killing time in Staples and noticed they had a 32 pound laser paper that’s 25% cotton. It comes in white and ivory (looks yellow to me). I bought a package of the ivory and I really like the feel of it. This hoplite was my first experiment using it.

The Comments

Dennis Jones

…we’ve been having a problem with spam over on brother Don’s page for a couple of weeks now and I’m guessing Keegan came in with some extra thick duct tape and fixed it but in the process all the comments on my page were deleted so I just wanted everyone that posted here to know I didn’t delete your comments… I liked your comments… there were some really funny comments on this page… they might have been the best bunch of comments made this year… perhaps the best comments ever made in the history of Brother Jones commenting ever!… unfortunately they became a casualty in our fight with spammers… oh, the humanity…

Don Jones

I’m hearing you Dennis. In our ongoing battle against the evil, viagra-selling SPAMmers, there will be losses. But, we must hold our blog high, and continue to wage war against those that are trying to sell something here. On second thought, maybe they can help us move some of our overstocked shelves at the Brother Jones Cafe Press store?

Jeff

Just put Spartaweaselcus and his army on them..

Dennis Jones

…we did have Spartaweaselcus as our primary defense against spam and those are indeed three despicable spam arrows stuck in his shield… the problem was Don was taking on thousands of spam comments a day and poor Spartaweaselcus was simply overrun…

Roballoo!

Good to hear – here I was thinking you fine folks didn’t like me anymore. Whew!

Jeff

Historically Spartaweaselcus led an army of migrant olive pickers on a crusade through northern Italy taking over pizza shops right? Only Julieus Wheezer and the Roman Army could stop him..I’m not sure, I failed history.

Don Jones

Jeff, that is my kind of history. I remember ol’ Wheezer and his Olive brigade just like that!

Jeff

I AM Spartaweaselcus.. no I am Spartaweaselcus…

Dennis Jones

…I’m going to take all the comments Jeff has made on my page over the past few years, string em all together, add pictures and make me the biggest baddest graphic novel ever!

Jeff

I am all about the history thing..

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Julius Weazer

October 13, 2009

JuliusWeasel2

Spartaweaselcus led his ragtag band of migrant olive pickers on a crusade through Northern Italy overtaking every pizza shop that stood in his way. Only Julius Weazer and the Romaine Lettuce Army could stop him.

The Comments

Dennis Jones

…I hope somebody will finish this story ‘cause I’m wildly interested in where it’s heading…

The “Ripleys” Guy

This image makes me ask the question: “is Armegeddon and Armadillo somehow mysteriously related”? Love the awesome art!

Don Jones

Little did the esteemed olive picker leader know, Weazer and his lethal leafy lineup had set up an ambush at a faux pizza parlor named Pizza Gut.

Jeff

Armadillo…I almost cried..Nice touch.

Jeff

Spartaweaselcus was out shopping for the freshest ingredients with his Papa John when his band of olive pickers were led into battle by a “fake Spartaweaselcus” that kinda looked like Charleton Heston..

Jeff

As it turns out it was not Spartaweaselcus at all. The Olive Gardeners were led into battle by his nephew the football star “Pair a Cleats” who looked more like Kirk Douglas.

Dennis Jones

…and now a word from our sponsors…

…VISIT BROTHERJONES FOR ALL
YOUR WEB BROWSING NEEDS…

…now back to our exciting story…

Doug Jones

…but then, swooping down outta the mountains came Rush Lamebaugh who bought the team and forced them to change their uniforms from pink capes to yellow spandex unitards.

Don Jones

Rush’s sofistikated taste in uniforms have always been in question and so the other clickish MFL team owners banished Lamebaugh and his millions to only ingesting locker room wall coverings.

Jeff

Much more masculine..

Jeff

Besides anyone who went to the mall in the early 80s knows Julius is ORANGE.

The “Ripleys” Guy

Spartaweaselcus should also be hailed for his support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

The “Ripleys” Guy

I’m sorry, that should be Julius Weazer!

Nik

Genghis Khan vs Julius Weazer would be a great fight to watch!

Jeff

Genghis was a skilled horseman and poor Julius got his armadillo impounded for double parking at a bowling ally. Not much of a fight if ya ask me.

Don Jones

Good eye on the pink cape tribute “Ripleys” Guy. Good enough for the NFL… good enough for Brother Jones.

Nik

How bout the Pillsbury Dough Boy vs the Marshmellow Man?

Dennis Jones

…this story seems to have taken on multiple sub plot lines…

Jeff

Spartaweaselcus and Papa John watched as the battle of DiGiorno raged throughout the day. The exhausted Romaine army rallied to overcome the beleaguered Olive Gardeners. Spartaweaselcus and Papa John fled to Tuscany where they set-up a pizza delivery shop that was quickly franchised.

Jeff

As for the Armadillo, he was stolen from the police impound lot and ended up on a pizza at Wolfgang Pucks Beverly Hills Bistro.

I Am Spartaweaselcus

October 15, 2009

Spartaweaselcus2

The story had reached its sad conclusion. Spartaweaselcus and his rebel band of olive pickers were trapped and surrounded by the mighty Romaine Lettuce Army. Julius Weazer galloped up on his fearsome war armadillo and demanded, “which one of you is Spartaweaselcus?” To his astonishment, each rebel one after the other answered, “I am Spartaweaselcus.” Unable to determine which one actually was the former gladiator, Weazer confiscated all of their olives and set sail for the new world where he opened a successful chain of Olive Garden Restaurants and Spartaweaselcus lived to eat pizza another day.

The Comments

Jeff

Nice chin..

Dennis Jones

…trying to stay true to the original version of this story…

Don Jones

I’d give anything for a belt like Sparaweaselcussesss.

The “Ripleys” Guy

That right arm looks vaguely familiar…Is that where Under Armor got that thing they put on Adrian Peterson in the commercial????

Nik

WOW! That is GREAT! Love the sword and he reminds me Tom Cruise!

Jeff

Who was ever scared of Tom Cruise? Clearly Kirk Douglass was much more intimidating.

Jeff

I’m just sorry the epic has to end.

Dennis Jones

…Jeff, you’re the one that started this whole mess with those nutty comments a couple of posts back. You got the story bouncing around in my head and then I had to put pictures to it…

Apollojet

Hello! You are great man. Really one of my favorite illustrators. Keep on.

Jeff

This has been a really fun picture set..

Jeff

You can call these segments, “Twisted History” we will have even more kids failing history tests.

Dennis Jones

…we can add the theme music from “Fractured Fairy Tales” to them from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle show to really punch em up…

Dennis Jones

…thanks Apollojet!

Jeff

Good idea.. If we are going to warp young peoples minds with Twisted history, we should have theme music..

Fort Wood Indiana

October 19, 2009

WoodFort

I spent Saturday choppin’ n splittin’ wood and while I was at it I built this totally awesome wooden fort just in case Canadians decide to cross the border and try to pillage my totally awesome stash of Krispie Kreme Donuts.

The Comments

Jeff

That looks like WAY too much work.. I’ll stick to my cardboard box design.. Hows the hands?

Don Jones

This is some of your best work Dennis… and with a Stihl, not a Cintiq!

Dennis Jones

…I was using the Cintiq to start with, but had to switch to a splitting maul…

Doug Jones

Jeff Fisher is looking for a hide-out fort just like this… someplace where Bud can’t find him. Do you accept reservations?

Jeff

I’m not sure Canadians are the threat here. Don’t they surrender after crossing any border? No thats the French.

Dennis Jones

…just got back from the store… Karen said she was making soup tonight and I could either go to the grocery store for ingredients at 5 o’clock when I was done with work and we could eat later… OR… I could go right then (at 2 o’clock) and we could eat earlier… I grabbed my coat and sprinted out the door ‘cause the earlier you can eat, the better your chances are of eating a little bit more later…

Don Jones

Double down on the eating and you can always take a nap prior to going to bed. Always worked for Dad.

Number Seventy Four

October 20, 2009

74a74b74c

…no, I have not seen the Movie 9 yet, but that didn’t keep me from whipping out one of those little goomers from the movie for my very own…

The Comments

Doug Jones

Terrific! That looks like a fully automatic CheapJoe 50 caliber brush he is wielding.

Jeff

WOW! I’m speachless. this guy is too cool.

Nik

YES! Nothing says “cool” like converse…LOL

Dennis Jones

…there is a new genre out there called “Stitchpunk” which is kinda like steampunk except it focuses heavily on big, rough looking stitching… I have been into stitchpunk for several years and didn’t even know it…

Don Jones

awesomeness… the bulbed back pack, the belt… I need to see this up close… let me get my glasses…

Flag Team Bullies

October 21, 2009

FlagTeamBullies2

I teach a high school Sunday School Class. A couple of months ago, our youth minister stuck his head into my classroom and reminded the boys to sign up for his ESPN Online Fantasy Football League. A girl in my class said, “I want to play, but I don’t know how.” After class I told her to go ahead and sign up, go to the draft, get some players and I would run the team for her behind the scenes.

Since this girl is on the high school marching band flag team, I named our team the Flag Team Bullies and made the team colors pink in order to tweak the guys in the league. So far I’ve dropped and added 22 players, we’re averaging 100 points per game, and if our team had not lost a game by one stinking point, we would be 5 and 1.

Our one little football girl is creating quite a stir in our league.

The Comments

Doug Jones

would you like to take over the Titans?

Dennis Jones

…is this the Titans bye week? We can only hope it is for their sakes…

Dan Lietha

I thought your player was wearing his breast cancer awareness pink equipment. Looks like a lots of the NFL players from the last couple weeks. BTW. I would be 6-0 in my FF league if I had used the right quarterback this past week. I used Matt Hasselbeck who fizzled out at -2 points meanwhile I had Matt Schaub on the bench and he had 40 POINTS! ARGH! But my VIKES are 6-0, so it makes things OK. 🙂

Doug Jones

Last night Jeff Fisher appeared with Tony Dungy at a fundraiser here. On stage, Fisher ripped off his shirt revealing a blue #18 Manning jersey. He looked at Dungy and said, “I just wanted to feel like a winner” Some folks here were offended by this… my, my…

Don Jones

Running a terror of a FFL team via a young girl… I’m liking this… I must talk to Megan and get her in a league next year.

Dennis Jones

Doug, that’s pretty funny about Fisher in the Manning jersey. I hadn’t heard about that…

Dan, RUN MATT SCHAUB EVERY WEEK NO MATTER WHAT! I see the Texans on a pretty regular basis because they are in the Colts division and he has a gun for an arm- maybe the best quarterback in the league nobody has ever heard of.

Dan Lietha

OK Dennis. Matt Schaub is in from now on (barring injury and bye week). If I win my league, I’ll dedicate my trophy to you … and rip off my shirt to reveal a Dennis Jones Weasels Jersey because you are a winner!

Don Jones

Dan, let’s keep the clothes on here. No use scaring the small children visiting this site.

Dan Lietha

Don, I’ll keep my clothes on. And truth be told, there is no trophy for the winner of my league. 🙂

Dennis Jones

…oh Don, you went and ruined all the fun… that woulda been the first Weasels jersey I sold all season…

Don Jones

I thought the official Weasel jersey was in fact… NO JERSEY with a big red-orange W painted on your stomach.

Dennis Jones

…people do tend to be pretty surprised when they order Weasels jerseys from us and we ship them a bottle of orange acrylic paint…

Jeff

I ordered my official Weasels jersey kit only to find out I can’t paint looking down at my belly….Go M.

Hawkeye

October 22, 2009

Hawkeye2

I think the best Christmas gift I got as a kid was from one of my big sisters. It was a comic book subscription to the Avengers, Fantastic Four, and Spiderman! During the course of that magical year, finding a comic book folded in half and crammed into the postbox next to the front door was a joy to me beyond comprehension.

I liked the Avengers best and Hawkeye was my favorite Avenger. He didn’t have superpowers like the other superheroes (he was kinda self-conscious about that) but he did have an extremely snazzy costume with a cool pointy eye mask and suspenders that turned into some kind of crazy indian loin cloth. He didn’t use a big fancy compound bow, either. He used a wooden target practice bow just like my brother Doug had. I liked that.

The Comments

Jeff

I know someone that lost an eye with one of those……..Not really, I was just quoting my parents..

Dennis Jones

…if he jumped off a cliff, you would,too… (one of our parental quotes)

The “Ripleys” Guy

Don’t point at someone unless you’re going to use it…..

Dennis Jones

…you’d forget your head if it wasn’t attached to your shoulders…

Don Jones

I’ll give you something to cry about…

Dennis Jones

…don’t cross your eyes, they’ll get stuck like that…

Don Jones

… you’re just like a fruitcake… always on the move.

Jeff

My personal favorite “Wait till your father gets home” At the time, he was in Viet Nam so I was O.K with that one

Don Jones

… I couldn’t repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder…

Nik

Radical! The Silver Surfer would be cool to see also.

Jeff

A Good parent drives their kids to school and drops them off. A Great parent slows down first.

Kirk

Hawkeye was one of my favorites too. I had a great issue with him and Spiderman teaming up. I like the old style costume best.

Don Jones

Speaking of old style… when are the Chiefs gonna give up the Dallas Texan Throw Back uniform? I prefer to watch them lose in their present day attire.

Dennis Jones

…good news for Doug’s Titans this weekend… they didn’t lose!

Jeff

Tony Romo making a dash for a first down, skidding to a halt 2 yards short, and then losing the ball……PRICELESS.. We actually won???

Dennis Jones

…Tony always seems to come up with several… uhm… unique plays each game….

Nik

That was SO awesome. Now if the Cowboys can do this consistantly.

Jeff

WHAAAATTT??

Dennis Jones

…consistently stumble blindly into wins…

Nik

I meant when Romo avoided all those tackles…

Jeff

Oh I see… I think he needs to work on his color blindness… He usually puts the ball right in the numbers. White jerseys, Red jerseys, green, etc..

Dennis Jones

…I like it when he throws behind his receivers and hits them in the foot and the ball bounces up and into the opponents hands… believe it or not, that’s not an easy thing to do…

Jeff

Its a gift.

craig schutt

And speaking of Hawkeye (we were speaking of him at one point, right?)…does anyone remember that horrible costume he began wearing in Avengers #98 (or thereabouts)? Ol’ Clint wins the award for shortest skirt ever worn by a male super-hero. Of course, if you remember—Clint Barton never could settle on a persona: first he was Hawkeye, then he took over the Goliath role, then back to Hawkeye. These days he’s got a new garb and calls himself Ronin. Some guys are never satisfied…

Nick’s Pics

October 28, 2009

NiksPics1 NiksPics2

I have sock creatures living in several different states now and these two reside in Oklahoma at my oldest son Nick’s house. He got a new lens for his camera and took these photos with it. I guess I need to buy frames and hang them on the wall with our other family photos.

The Comments

Tim S.

Love your use of buttons for the eyes. Interesting to find another illustrator who plays with socks on his spare time. 😉 I teach a puppet seminar for children’s ministry workers and I have students make simple sock puppets. I encourage them to use buttons for eyes instead of “wiggle eyes”.  After watching the full-length sock puppet movie, “The Lady from Sockholm”, I was impressed with how they chose button eyes to fit each puppet’s personality/character. Button eyes have so much more character to them.

Dennis Jones

…those wiggle eyes make your sock guys look like something Grandma made in her crochet class… buttons give your characters a good, creepy weird look…

Don Jones

poignant… love the shallow depth of field…

Jeff

Puppet #2 looks like he may need a good Orthodontist. Hes got more teeth and gums than an Osmond reunion concert.

Dennis Jones

…actually, I did model Puppet # 2 from Donny… Osmond, not Jones…

Doug Jones

If any of those guys want to live in Tennessee, we have a spot for ‘em…

Jeff

I’m waiting to bid on the Spartaweaselcus tribute sock puppet.

Roballoo!

Great photos. The guy on two has a certain Tim Burtonesque feel to him the way he’s designed and photogged.

Hot Dog Slinger

October 29, 2009

CowboyDog

Brother Jones Rule Number One. When all else fails, dress up an animal in people clothes. Works every time.

The Comments

Jeff

I tried that once with our cat “Boo Kitty” 2-weeks of dressing changes and a few stiches later I decided, NOT SO GOOD!

Dennis Jones

…Jeff was sipping out of this mug as he was dressing his cat…

Doug Jones

I was just driving to the store to get milk and bread and looking at BrotherJones on my laptop on the way… and drove 150 miles past the store! Dang… I hate when that happens….

Dennis Jones

…at least you weren’t asleep… or… whatever…

Jeff

I wonder if I would get away with that excuse at work? “We were heading for your spleen Mr. Jones, but we got sidetracked.”

Don Jones

I’m wearing the HoT DoG SlinGer costume tomorrow!

Dennis Jones

…over 10 years living in this Indiana corn field and we’ve had a grand total of zero trickertreaters…

…this, of course, does not stop me from insisting that we be prepared just in case by buying lots and lots of my favorite kinds of candy…

…what’s a fella supposed to do with all that candy when no one comes for it, you can’t let it go to waste… ok, I’ll eat it…

Don Jones

Eggcellent Stategery Dennis.

Nik

Chow down on some candy corn.YUMMY!

Jeff

I let the kids cover a three block area then take 10% off the top.