The Official Brother Jones LOST Fan Forum

September 29, 2005

LOST

There are about a half-a-kajillion fan forums on the internet for the ABC television show LOST. Now there are a half-a-kajillion and one.

Introducing the official un-official web site to cuss n discuss your latest kookie theories about this show…

…its …THE BROTHER JONES LOST FAN FORUM!

please keep hands and feet inside the ride at all times

The Comments

Doug Jones

SocMo is definitely one of the OTHERS… and that guy down in the hatch is just his lackey… SocMo is the brains of the island.

Dennis Jones

I dont know about you Doug, but I started watching this because I thought there were going to be dinosaurs eating people each week… I still haven’t given up on that idea… perhaps Socmo rides a Mastodon into tribal council and saves Locke from being voted off the island?… just a theory…

Doug Jones

I think there is no dinosaur… what you are seeing is just SocMo letting off a little steam. He does have a temper you know.

Dennis Jones

yes… yes that makes sense, Doug… that answers the mystery about the black smoke… I have another theory about Locke being related to our friend and fellow artist Gary Locke, but I haven’t quite got that idea figured out yet…

Don Jones

I believe when Michael and Sawyer finally rode their bamboo bomb to shore they discovered that Jin had flipped his lid and had started a dairy farm. That’s the reason he was yelling “Udders, udders, udders!” at them.

Dennis Jones

Yes, Don the dairy farm theory has been floating around the internet for some time now… the other part of that theory that you left out is that it is so dry there on the beach the cows are actually giving powdered milk…

Doug Jones

My theory is Gary Locke is SocMo’s father. This would explain his wild and crazy behavior. At some point John Locke will pull off his latex disguise and reveal that he is Gary Locke and say… “SocMo… I am your father!” Then the fun begins.

Don Jones

Jin was udderly insane. This Locke theory makes alot of sense. So much sense that perhaps that’s the catch. If SocMo is indeed the son of Gary… then that means SocMo is the grandchild of John. It all ties together… much like the bamboo raft. BUT!… is the shark really dead or was that just a flesh wound?

Dennis Jones

hmmm… some excellent thinking going on today from the Brothers Jones… I cannot quit pondering Dons cow theory tho… I believe I saw in the bunker… there in the background… not just some old time computers… but a couple of cow-culators… it all plays into the dairy cow theory I believe…

Don Jones

Maybe those other guys are banished Amish dairy farmers and they are coming on the beach to raise a bamboo barn…

Dennis Jones

…now that would explain A LOT Don… the “others” are a group of shunned Amish folk who are stranded on the same island after their makeshift buggy raft was blown off course by hurricane Katrina… perhaps their cows quit giving milk… became… milk-duds so to speak… they would have to do something… right? …going to the beach for a good ole fashioned barn raising makes perfect sense… brilliant… I think we are about to get this season figured out…

Don Jones

Now we’ve done it. There’s really no more reasons to watch LOST since we figured it all out. I’m switchin’ to MARTHA!

Dennis Jones

HOLY COW!!!

Kyle Jones

Just remember, for every Locke, there is a Key

Doug Jones

John (Gary) Locke: SocMo… I am your father. Join me on the DARK side of the FARM and together we will rule the island! SocMo: NOoooOOOoooooOOOooo…. …well, maybe.

Doug Jones

Prediction#1: Next week it will be revealed that Kate is SocMo’s sister. She will appear with two honey buns glued to her head.

Doug Jones

Prediction#2 The explosions on the island are nothing more than exploding cows… who can’t handle their methane production.

Doug Jones

Prediction#3 Desmond will reach the correct speed on his exercise bike and BLAST into the future… where Michael J. Fox will teach him to use a hoverboard.

Thomas

Great! half-a-kajillion and one forums on lost and yet no one is suspecting the Dog, you know Vincent. Runs off into the jungle willie-nillie and ALWAYS comes back – but only when he WANTS to… People go running off after him and THEN they have this “I see dead people” experience… Hmmm … And has anyone checked his dog tag number? If you look closely in Episode 5, season 1, the number is 7970! While this number isn’t the sum of the numbers on the side of the hatch (4 8 15 16 23 42), it’s VERY interesting these numbers have NO relationship to anything that’s happened to anyone on the plane! And, it turns out, the dog’s former owner did own a dairy farm. Why did Vincent bring them all here? Everyone, aside from Walt, on Oceanic Flight 815 is a cat lover … This has driven Vincent to kidnap Walt and keep him safe, while trying to quarantine everyone else on the island. I think I’ve proved my point on this … Excellent discussion guys!

Doug Jones

4 8 15 16 23 42… HUT! Excellent work Thomas! It’s ALWAYS the DOG… unless there is a butler… and I haven’t seen a butler yet. The mastermind of the entire deal is a small, 300 year old Amish farmer… YODER. He wants the dog to heard his cows to the barn that is being raised on the beach by the OTHERS.

Don Jones

Man, that’s deep. Who would’ve thought Walt (Disney) was Vincent’s (Van Gogh) evil twin?

Don Jones

I think those are the same signals that Daunte Culpepper has been utilizing with the Vikings this year… no wonder they’ve LOST!

Doug Jones

Vincent… yeah… Vincent…. and he always goes out at night… Starry Starry Night….

Dennis Jones

wow… I thought I had this all figured out until Doug and Thomas came in with these new scenarios… both very plausible… I may have to watch again next week now…

Fox Mulder

“The truth is out there…. and you find it on BrotherJones dot com”

Dennis Jones

…thats ‘cause we are all sitting around here with our home made tin foil anti-alien protective helmets on… we are still able to think for ourselves…

Thomas

I wasn’t going to go into the play calling and Da Vincent code, but since you seem to be a rather open minded group here, I’ll go a bit further … Vincent actually came up with this code – the REAL Da Vinci code (4 8 15 16 23 42) … He knew this would create havoc whenever used ( just look at Hurley’s problems when used for the lottery) after an experiment with some Chickens that ended rather grotesquely … Unfortunately, on a recent trip, a certain QB for a certain team, based in Wisconsin, took a trip to nearby Amish Dairy farm to pick up some of his favorite cheese, saw the numbers etched on the side of a doghouse and thought he might try them in the upcoming season (considering they didn’t have much of an offensive line any longer, what could it hurt, he thought) … Well, this is all a spin-off of what Vincent’s original intentions were, but, suffice to say, they have had serious ramifications upon a certain team in Green Bay. Next time Green Bay plays, notice what NUMBER is on the starting QB’s jersey and how many YEARS experience he has… And just look at the LOST expression on his face often exhibited … Coincidence? I think not.

Nick Jones Everybody

ok spoiler warning…. here is what’s really going on. We all know Charlie’s past…. he’s a hobbit. not just any hobbit… he is a good personal friend of Frodo. Now Frodo is in possession of this ring that a lot of people want…. These people want it so much that they would be willing to crash a plane just to get their hands on it…. coincidence? look at the number sequence…

4 – number of hobbit friends that Frodo has
8- 4 is half of 8, hobbits are half the size of people.
15- 1 minus 5 equals negative four, if you drop the negative you again have the number of hobbit friends…
16- 6-1 equals 5… the number of letters in FRODO
23 – 2+3 equals 5 also the number of letters in Frodo.
42- this is a stupid number and was just thrown in to confuse everyone…

In support of the cow theory however… The first thing that Jack said when he saw Desmond was Mooo…

Don Jones

I’d like to direct the attention back to the DON journal for a moment for an updated picture that is worth the wait on dial-up… (Den, that’s you.) Nick, can you help me with my taxes next year? Your number crunchin’ is fugh-naugh-men-nul.

Doug Jones

Once me and some hobbits were hanging around with Leonardo and I caught the Da Vinci cold. Used a TON of tissues blowing my nose.

Thomas

Filthy Hobbitss

Dennis Jones

…oh man… NICK… I couldn’t help myself even tho you had a spoiler warning up and I read your inside information on the show anyway… you just RUINED it for me… thanks a lot…

Don Jones

Who’s Charlie?

Dennis Jones

Don I told you to watch season one with your boys…

Dennis Jones

ok, ok, I will tell you who Charlie is… Charlie actually really is the hobbit on the show… apparently after saving Narnia the hobbits put together a hard rockin’ band named OrcShaft and toured quite extensively… he was trying to get the band back together when the plane went down…

Don Jones

I obviously overlooked this critical piece of information in the Season 1 hour summary.
I feel short changed. Seems like OrcShaft was one of those one hit wonder groups. SocMo worked as a roadie for their Aussie Tour.

Mason Jones

Uncle Denny the only problem with your Charlie theory is that he has never been to Narnia but maybe MIDDLE EARTH.

Dennis Jones

hmmm… …are you sure about that Mason? …because I seem to remember the first thing the hobbits did after saving Narnia was play an OrcShaft concert at some big stadium there and they had plenty of Turkish Delight for everyone in attendance…

Dennis Jones

…by the way Don, since you are new to the show this season and did not seem to know who Charlie the hobbit was, you might need to know this about him too… he is an addict… he is hooked on the Turkish Delight… sad, but true… and that little statue of the Mother Mary he keeps in his little hobbit knapsack… its full of the stuff…

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More Curling In The Olympics!

February 20, 2006

Olympic1

Team Jones competes in 2006 Winter Olympics.

Olympic2

Speed Skating and Downhill Curling.

Olympic3

New excitement for the 2006 Winter Games.

I watched some of the 2006 Winter Olympics this weekend and decided my favorite event is curling. It appeals to me because I think my brothers and I could compete in it. We could go out, slide the stone down the ice, sweep in front of it, and then sit on the bench and eat donuts until it was our turn again. I like that.

Apparently TV ratings are down this year, but I have a solution for NBC; add curling to some of the other Olympic events.

I would love to see speed skaters lugging a small boulder around the track. Who wins in hockey if you have to slam a 44 pound rock into the net? Any luge-bobsled-skeleton run would be much more exciting with the weight of a curling stone added to the sled. Downhill curling is a no-brainer; who wouldnt want to see that?

The best part of the Winter Olympics is watching people going downhill fast and hanging on for their lives. The only thing better would be watching people that had to compete AGAINST their will. “Here you go sir, hang onto this curling stone and we’ll see you at the bottom of the hill.”

I would not change the Alpine Sniper competition, but I would add a gun to the trick ski jump competition. After the guy hits the jump and is upside down in the air he has to whip out a rifle and shoot targets. That would be sweet. This could be a little rough on the people watching in the crowd, but it would definitely send TV ratings through the roof.

The Comments

Don Jones

This gets me pumped to watch some more events. I’ve been out in my driveway doing some sweeping so I think I am in form to make a run for a medal. I was hoping for a platinum ring of some sort. Have you noticed the medals this time look like donuts?

Doug Jones

Herez a new event for you. You toss one of those stones into the air as high as you can and the vice president takes a shot at it… if you survive… you WIN! …we could call it Extreme Skeet Curling

Doug Jones

I like how we are never so consumed with winning, that we can’t turn and smile for the camera….

Dennis Jones

…the competitive spirit is not really a Jones attribute… we are just happy to be in the game…

megan

I like how “pom-pomesque” the stones look in the hands of the figure skating cheerleader…

Dennis Jones

…she does seem to be handling that extra weight with style and grace…

Dennis Jones

…the thing about adding curling stones to other events at the Olympics is that ABC might be able to come up with a new “agony of defeat” guy for their opening to Wide World Of Sports….

Doug Jones

Hey… don’t think I mentioned this yet… but those are GREAT new pics at the top of your page! I need to do that too. Maybe someday….

Jeff

Got the new Bible.. thanks again.. awesome art as usual.. How about figure skating with a curling stone tied to their leg. That would put a stop to all the triple jumps, and give big girls like Tanya Harding a fighting chance.

Dennis Jones

HA!… good to hear the great state of Texas checking in at Brother Jones…

Jeff

Well, U.S. Mens hockey lost the final time to a country with a population density of your neighborhood Wall-Mart.. Sad day.