September 29, 2008
Yes, I am a master gardener. A few years ago, Karen and I bought two apple trees at Walmart and it was my responsibility to get them planted. There were instructions for planting attached that included a diagram for reference, so I figured it couldn’t be all that hard.
Step one was to dig a really big hole, which I did. Step two was to put the tree into the really big hole and fill with mulch. It seemed to me that there should probably be a little dirt around those roots, but I figured the people that wrote the instructions probably knew more about tree planting than me, so I put the trees in the holes, dumped in ten bags of mulch, watered it all real good… job finished!
That was ten years ago. Turns out I was supposed to fill those holes with dirt first and then put the mulch on top to retain the moisture. My apple trees are planted in pure mulch. No dirt to be found anywhere close to the roots of my apple trees. Maybe that’s why they blow out of the ground every time a storm kicks up. They do, however, produce apples… lots and lots of apples. I am currently eating apples… and apple muffins… and apple cake… and anything else Karen can think up to put apples into…