Master Gardener

September 29, 2008

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Yes, I am a master gardener. A few years ago, Karen and I bought two apple trees at Walmart and it was my responsibility to get them planted. There were instructions for planting attached that included a diagram for reference, so I figured it couldn’t be all that hard.

Step one was to dig a really big hole, which I did. Step two was to put the tree into the really big hole and fill with mulch. It seemed to me that there should probably be a little dirt around those roots, but I figured the people that wrote the instructions probably knew more about tree planting than me, so I put the trees in the holes, dumped in ten bags of mulch, watered it all real good… job finished!

That was ten years ago. Turns out I was supposed to fill those holes with dirt first and then put the mulch on top to retain the moisture. My apple trees are planted in pure mulch. No dirt to be found anywhere close to the roots of my apple trees. Maybe that’s why they blow out of the ground every time a storm kicks up. They do, however, produce apples… lots and lots of apples. I am currently eating apples… and apple muffins… and apple cake… and anything else Karen can think up to put apples into…

The Comments

Doug Jones

This must be the year for apples. Our old apple tree had so many apples on it, a large limb was hanging down and touching the ground. I have eaten a lot of apple cake recently too…

Don Jones

I always got a kick out of the “Planting Instructions for Morons” PLANT GREEN SIDE UP. Two trees? You’ve got an ORCHARD!!!

Jason Bourne

You’re a prime Johnny Appleseed. Nice work. I might plant some watermelon seeds one day….

Doug Jones

so… are you watching so much football these days that you don’t have time for art works?

Doug Jones

so… are you watching so much football these days that you don’t have time for art works?

Doug Jones

oops… delete that last comment… I must have hiccupped… how do you spell hick up?

Bernard

Hey we are staying on topic with the pics pretty much here today…imagine that! Steelers v.s. Ravens?

Dennis Jones

…since we are staying on topic, Ravens are hard on apple trees… so I say Steelers…

Otto Meza

and produce apple computer too?

Jon Slone

Hey Dennis, Do they make tracers for pieces of paper bigger than notebook size? Like one for possibly an 11X14 size?

Dennis Jones

…Jon, I’m not sure what you mean by “tracers”…

wobblyhalo

To fix the trees, just pour two yards of cement around the base of the trees, they will remain quite stable in the wind. Then go down to wally world and buy a can of “Grassy Green” spray paint and vowalla, beutiffuull ceement. Just watch the the mowing.

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Elisha’s Bear

May 29, 2009

ElishaBearPencilElishaBear2

…so our pastor has been doing this sermon series on Second Kings from the Old Testament and being the exceptional student that I am I’ve been taking exhaustive notes on it and even slopped a little color on one of them…

The Comments

Don Jones

I’ve seen the 3-D version of this at Mom’s house!

Dennis Jones

…it took me a while to figure that comment out, Don…you were talking about this guy…

2007_07_01_011Finished

Zaz

What talent you’ve been blessed with… The highlights on the brushes, the view and detail work of the inside of the bears mouth (every Dentist dream), and you pulled it all together with the subtle background that help make the character pop. Cool stuff Dude! Thanks

Don Jones

Yes, Den… that is exactly what I was referring to. I would like to commission you to do a headcover for my golf driver.

Doug Jones

The 3-D versions is snuggled down on a brand new carpet and watching a new tellyvision…

Don Jones

But he’s not using the Master Bathroom toilet… it is taped off with CRIME TAPE.

Dennis Jones

…Karen headed off to South Africa and left me with a flat of garden plants to put in today… I’m sure you’ll be happy to hear that I made the typical brother jones effort on that little project…

Doug Jones

garden plants! oooooooh, those are some goood eatin’!

Dennis Jones

…all have been installed into dirt and are ready to die… because I’m the one that installed them into the dirt…

Don Jones

Are you sure you didn’t just plant them in mulch?

Dennis Jones

…hey, the apple trees I misguidedly planted in 100% mulch are dong just fine… of course, they do blow out of the ground a couple of times each year… seriously…

Don Jones

Sounds like you need a bag of reinforcement mulch… stands up to those nasty north winds and hold even the largest mighty oaks…

Dennis Jones

…maybe I could decorate the base of my apple trees with decorative slabs of concrete… that might hold ‘em in the ground…

Don Jones

Just wanted to post a comment in JUNE here…

Dennis Jones

…well I appreciate that Don… I’ll try to return the favor on your page…

Jeff

Wow my mom used to let me color in church but I never developed the degree of Doodleosity (this really should be a word) that you have.. I need to send you a drum head from my bass drum and wait for you to get bored and tag it..

Dennis Jones

…doodleosity …I like that… I’m going to start working that one in every chance I get…

Doug Jones

doodleosity…. YES!

Dennis Jones

…sorry, can’t talk now… there be a whole lotta doodleosity goin’ on about here right now…

gary Locke

OH MY DOOOOOD!!!—-i like this!!!!!! I was lookin at some of your youtoobs….. and i wondered if’n you ever hit command H while you have a loop selection area that you want to paint in?!

gary Locke

dooooods—-we changed churches in october!!!!!! been at csbc since 1976……..now at James River Assembly…  35 years plus a Baptist, now a recovering Baptist since Matt died…

Dennis Jones

…James River Assembly… is that the great big church on highway 60 when you head down to Branson?

Don Jones

Yes, indeed… but, to get it correct… it is U.S. 65… 60 goes to Mountain Grove.

Dennis Jones

…hey, I was in the ballpark, anyway… I haven’t lived in Missouri for 20 years…

Don Jones

The ball park is about two miles south of James River. It’s the old Price Cutter ballpark where the Ozark Mountain DUCKS used to thrive and play. Lamberts sits exactly between the ballpark and James River Church. Keep your eyes open unless you want a throwed roll up side the head. Gary can back me up on all this…

Dennis Jones

…sounds like the Ducks didn’t thrive all that well… did they crater?

Don Jones

They were the main attraction for a couple of years. Then John Q brought the St. Louis Cards farm team to Springfield… The Ducks then sputtered and tanked. I could hear their distant, pitiful quacking all the way at my house.

Dennis Jones

…well I hope you got a duck hat before they tanked. …what are they doing with that ballpark now? …maybe Brother Jones could take it over and make it into some sort of Branson attraction… maybe a Roman style colosseum with donkey chariot races driven by hillbillies… just brainstorming our next disastrous Brother Jones move…