Mutant Sock Monkeys

October 11, 2005

MutantSockMonkey

I cannot stay awake for an entire Monday Night Football game. If I plop down in front of a TV late at night I can only last an hour… maybe two before I fall fast asleep. Last nights game was a good one, so I made plans to stay awake for the whole thing.

Before the game started I drove to Walmart and (being secure in my manhood) bought a needle, thread and some buttons. I got a few odd looks from the ladies shopping in the sewing section with me, but I can handle it.

I drove back home, turned on the game, and built this mutant sock monkey while it was on.

I now plan to build an entire army of Monday Night Football Mutant Sock Monkeys. One day, my Monday Night Football Mutant Sock Monkeys and I will RULE THE WORLD Ha Ha Ha Ha…

ha ha… … … … ha… …

eh… … ahem…

…the good news is this did indeed keep me awake for the entire game. I even saw Ben Roethlisberger take the wicked hit to his leg at the end… hope he’s ok… seems to be a pretty good guy…

The Comments

Don Jones

That monkey is juiced! I’m guessing you didn’t follow any Sock Monkey blueprints. Maybe there is a market for VooDoo SocMonkeys. Stick a few pins in this and see if anyone complains.

Dennis Jones

..this is one strong monkey… look at those arms… I wanted to put a hat on him like Socmo… but his head doesn’t seem to want to cooperate…

Don Jones

Has Karen missed her sock yet?

Dennis Jones

I’m not that stupid… that’s one of my old socks… I’m not really wearing green argyles a lot these days…

Don Jones

It appears this sock monkey has nice dental work.

Dennis Jones

…and a somewhat pleasant personality… well… for a mutant sock monkey anyway…

Don Jones

I’m thinking you could name these sock monkeys based on someone from the MNF game like the Madden trailer. Invert his left knee and this could be Big Ben.

Doug Jones

SocMo is in L-O-V-E! He is requesting a phone number for this beauty.

Dennis Jones

867-5309… Tommy Tutone

Andy Smith

Hey How many socks does it take to make a sweet Mutant Sock Monkey?

Dennis Jones

…hmmm… I’m not sure if this is one of those “how many Jones’s does it take to screw in a light bulb” kind of questions or an honest to goodness question question… so I will gamble on it being the latter and say two…

Denis Kabistan

It’s a Jones conspiracy !

Don Jones

I just got back from the all new Liger Shoppe. Man, my head is spinning. So much Liger merchandise to choose from. I think I left my shopping cart on aisle seven…

Dennis Jones

…Don, there is a fine looking yellow man-bag that I think you would look really nice in at the Liger Shop…

Don Jones

You can’t fool me… man bag… yea right. That is your basic female canvas beach book tote. I will wait until it goes on sale.

Tami

Mutant sock monkeys…be very afraid. Do you guys mind if I post a link to your web site on mine…since I already did it? Just wanted to share the joy (and the Liger Shop)!

Dennis Jones

Hi Tami… Nice of you to drop by Brother Jones again… sure, link us up… and post a comment once in a while like you did in the old days so we can raise the level of discourse around this place…

Doug Jones

Tami… I was just checking our records and I think your semi-annual BrotherJones fees are due. pay up.

Don Jones

I checked out Tami’s site and she out-classes us by a mile. She’s got good grammer and spelling and everthing going on. Instead of listing us on the LINKS page… she might want to create a more appropriate DETOUR page to our web uRL.

Doug Jones

URL place, or mine? a little web humor there….

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Official Draft Day Report Card

May 1, 2006

BenRothlesburger

…2004 Draft Day Bust Ben Roethlisberger…

Every year I enjoy listening to the “experts” predict what players will be drafted by different NFL teams. It’s fun on draft day to listen to these same “experts” analyze why the NFL teams took different players than the ones they said they would.

What I find most interesting is seeing the “experts” post report cards afterwards on how the draft went. They give each team a letter grade on how well they drafted. I suppose this letter grade is contingent on how closely the team picked in relation to the “experts” predictions for them.

Well, not to be outdone, I now give you the Official Brother Jones Report Card grade… B- …maybe a C+…

..I base this grade on absolutely nothing…

…just like the “experts”.

The Comments

Don Jones

The NFL excitement was in the air on Saturday. I tuned in to my five local antennae stations but no DRAFT DAY coverage. I give the K.C. Chiefs a solid B for going out and rounding up some DE by the name of Tamba Hali. I like the name and believe this boy can play.

Dennis Jones

I’ll have to give Tamba Hali a B+ for being drafted… but I am afraid I will have to give him a D- for having a hard name for me to pronounce…

I also give Dons comment a C+…

…and Doug a D- just for fun…

Don Jones

Doug’s D- is for desertion. He’s been a no-show since last Friday. I give you an “R” for this awesome Rothslithburger drawing.

Dennis Jones

…well …sorry to say, Don, I have to give you a D- for not being able to spell Roethlisberger… but I give Roethlisberger an F for having an impossible name to spell…

Doug Jones

D- Doug reporting in…. The Teen Titans and all of Nashville seem to be THRILLED with their new draft pick, Vince Young. Word on the street is McNair is trying to get a deal with the Ravens… it’s a weird world…

Doug Jones

I’m boycotting BrotherJones today to support my fellow Hickspanics.

Dennis Jones

…oh, I see… you walked off the Brother Jones job site today… I’m afraid I’m going to have to change your grade from a D- to an F for that… sorry…

Doug Jones

F? …. F? …. that’s Fantastic!

Don Jones

I was thinking Vince Young used to be in Pure Prairie League and married Amy Grant a few years back. Now he’s been drafted!!??? I give him a grade of V for versatile. Had dinner with Michael Card last night… O.K. I was just in the back of the room and saw him at a distance. I did get a door prize of his new C.D.

Roballoo

The stunned look on the player’s face looks like he was hit in the helmet with a football.

Roballoo

Michael Card ~ He’s a talented little chap. Recently, I wrote some new words to his song “So little time…” Whole lotta food. So little time. It’s a church potluck, and there’s a long line.

Don Jones

I’m sure if Michael heard this rendition he would incorporate it in his concerts I give this comment a strong B+…

Dennis Jones

…I think that lyric would have worked much better if it were switched around…

It’s a church potluck, and there’s a long line…
Whole lotta food, so little time…

…so I am going to have to grade him down a bit for that… B-

Don Jones

Second verse… I know it’s wrong, and certainly a sin- But Uncle Roy’s up front, So I’m cuttin’ in.

Roballoo

Good one. maybe Mr. card will hire us to work on his next album!

bernardfromtheyard

Hey guys, What a cool site… I give myself a D- for not being named Jones but I love football almost as much as Dennis’ art! How much to buy a Big Ben Parody design for our T-Shirt store?

Doug Jones

Darn!!! what’s going on with LOST? I am still in shock over last nights episode!