Kamikaze Biker

April 30, 2008

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My oldest son Nick called and insisted that I start riding my bicycle again so he could sign us up for some sort of bike race this summer in Oklahoma. I couldn’t remember if I still had a bike, much less where it might be. I did seem to remember letting it sit outside in the snow one winter because it kept getting in my way in the garage.

At one time I was quite the biker and had all the helmets, shoes, gloves, pants and miscellaneous other doo dads that every rider needed. That stuff all seems to be gone now. I’m thinking I can probably substitute my hockey equipment for the items that I really need.

I found the bike, did a thorough visual inspection on it and officially pronounced it in tip top shape… except maybe for the rusted parts. I plan to take ‘er out this weekend and see what she will do down that big hill behind our house. If the rusted brake cables should snap on the way down, I will simply shift into kamikaze mode and aim the bike into the nearest corn field.

The Comments

Doug Jones

This looks like a job for WD40man. Dip the whole bike in a vat of WD40 and go out to that corn field and grab some ears. They are worth big money these days….

Jason Bourne

You should ride your bike in your hockey attire all the time. You might start a new trend.

Don Jones

It looks as though you have nice set of corn colored reflectors on that bike.

Dennis Jones

…those are corn deflector shields, Don…

roballoo

If the chain breaks – use your hockey stick. Simply slide it into the front spokes and you are sure to stop. Hey – you have all of your hockey equipment with you, why not put it to use.

Doug Jones

yeah… that curve on the stick is just right to poke into the spokes. Instant stoppage! This will also let you test out your gear and see how well it protects you…

Nick Jones Everybody

She’s a beaut Clark.

Don Jones

Is that one of those Cro Magnum 413 Double Socket Rocket Manly Bikes? I think It says that on the sticker…

Doug Jones

i would pronounce that bike “good enough”

Dennis Jones

…I’m running up to Walmarts to buy some duck tape so I can get those custom hockey stick brakes attached properly… it’s very important to have your bike in tip top shape before you trust your life to it…

James

Hey DJ… Did your Cintiq blow up from all the work you’ve done on it, or are you on a mission with the Kamikaze Biker boyz protecting neighborhoods around you? Dude we miss your work.

Dennis Jones

…ha …well, I think what we have happening here is a change in the weather in Northeastern Indiana…

…when it’s cold and snowy outside there is nothing else to do but sit inside and draw, but now that the weather is nicer, when the work day is over I’m outside mowing or skating or (soon to be) reeking havoc in the Kamikaze Bonsai Biker Club…

…I’m working every day on the Cintiq, but I can’t legally post client work I’m currently working on until it’s been published… when there are no pictures to post things get a little weird and start to deteriorate here at Brother Jones… I guess I’d better get some more pictures going…

pEtE joNeS

you could always race nick’s huffy. or get a moped

Dennis Jones

…Nick’s Huffy is one sweet ride… I believe it’s rusting out back somewhere as we speak…

Doug Jones

I like the moped idea… with saddle bags loaded with chips….

Don Jones

It’s like Going Green… with all that gas you are saving and with the little moped. Sort of like riding a Harley trailbike back from Nashville.

Dennis Jones

…HEY! …my snappy little yellow Opel Kadet died down there so I had to buy something to get back home with… why not a Harley Davidson?…

…every year the media seems to celebrate Elvis’s funeral and it always reminds me that I was puttering thru Memphis on my Harley that day weaving in and out of traffic that was sitting still on the highway…

Jason Bourne

Maybe I’ll paint myself green. Then no one will have to ask me if I’m for going Green..LOL

Yvette

Hi, Dennis, I am not sure you are the one I am looking for…I used to write to a “resident” of San Luis Obispo. I happened to find our old letters and I wanted to see how he is doing now. The last time I communicated with him he was writing comics and other stuff in Jail. After my daughter was born I quit work and I think we just drifted away from writing…I lived in Hayward, California, was married and worked at Pacific Bell when we wrote to each other.
Are you the same Dennnis Jones? Can you let me know? I would love to hear how Dennis is doing now. Thank you very much, Yvette

Dennis Jones

…sorry, Yvette …I’m not the Dennis you’re looking for… thanks for your comment… it was really interesting…

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My Big Biker Weekend

May 5, 2008

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I decided this weekend would be my big, “get back into biking” weekend. I dug around and found some of my old riding gear, a styrofoam helmet, one glove and my Nike biking shoes. Upon further consideration, I decided I would rather die than be seen in any of this stuff, so I rolled up my jeans, put on my Chucks and a ball cap and hit the road.

I went to Ft. Wayne to ride because there are supposed to be some really good bike trails up there. I managed to find one of the trail heads and headed out on my rusted black beauty. It was really fun. The trail system runs for miles along the St. Joe and Maume rivers. I did get lost at one point and found myself peddling thru the skyscrapers in downtown Ft. Wayne, (I’m still not sure how that happened). I ended up in a downtown park with about half a brazilian people standing in line for something. I asked what was going on and it turns out some fellow named Obama was speaking in a pavilion there about something.

As I biked on I grew more confidant and tried a very aggressive shift which threw my chain off the front sprocket and it wrapped itself tightly around my front peddle. That took a while to fix. I got home around six and was determined to fire up the computer and make a picture to post here instead of this, but after I took a shower I laid down on the bed and found that I could no longer move my arms and legs… so I stayed on the bed and watched the Bourne Ultimatum on TV… and then kinda dozed and woke thru the entire Stars-Sharks game… including all three overtimes… STARS WIN! HOO HOO!

The Comments

Jason Bourne

Cool Nikes! Nice and bright… I guess you don’t need reflectors while riding at night when you have those Nikes on.

Nick Jones Everybody

What happened to the other half of the brazilian people?

Dennis Jones

…they were over at IPFW listening to some lady named Hillary… I hear there’s some sorta election or something coming up…

Don Jones

It appears Indiana is very prized turf. Must be the corn. The funky time zone? Did you stop for nourishment on this bike outing?

Doug Jones

Sounds like you had a real adventure! Chucks look so cool… but they feel so FLAT to wear. I need some arch support… therefore I am not cool…. oh well…

Dennis Jones

…I stopped and had a LemonLimeStawberry Gatorade and it was delicious… wearing Chucks is about as close to going barefoot as you can go…

Doug Jones

I luv my asics running shoes… every step is like walking on cushy carpet… I am totally addicted

Nick Jones Everybody

I just think it’s funny that you used to wear a styrofoam cooler on your head… How exactly does that help in a wreck? The handles break off those things when you put half a bag of ice in there…

Dennis Jones

…ahem …that styrofoam cooler helmet was the latest in hi-tech gear when I got it… 20 years ago…

…of course, I always was kinda curious as to how well that helmet would work when I was screaming down a hill, the bike was shuddering violently and I feared the wheels were going to spontaneously combust……