Ole’

May 24, 2005

amigos

Doug, I do like your Mexican Restaurant idea. This is the best sign I could work up for us on such short notice.

I do believe I need to call a brief Brother Jones Online Bored Meeting to order at this time.

As you know, the Jones Brothers are responsible for an evening meal at the upcoming Jonesapalooza CoffeeFest and CousinDunk on Tablerock Lake in just a matter of weeks. What shall we do for this meal? …sandwiches? …Brother Jones Burritos? …chocolate milk and donuts?

The floor is now open for suggestions…

The Comments

Doug Jones

I was just wondering the same thing this morning…. but right now I gotta see if I can fix my journal page…. the photo seems to be missing for some reason… wonder why…

Don Jones

Pleased to report that I am upright and taking nourishment this morning. I am officially taking my seat here at the executive conference table let the meeting commence

Doug Jones

Ah… got it working again… (the journal page that is) On to the question at hand… BrotherJones Tacos might be worth considering. It is always entertaining to build your own taco and try to eat it while it is self destructing in your hands. Desert? neapolitan ice cream… of course

Dennis Jones

Woa… I go down and make a fresh pot of coffee and you guys go ahead and start the meeting without me…

Dennis Jones

Sorry about the journal page picture Doug… I forgot to change the name when I snagged your photo and I think I knocked you off with the same file name…

Don Jones

I am liking that TACO building endeavor deal. Bring the components and it’s every gringo for himself. (check out our retirement venture on today’s journal)

Doug Jones

of course we will have to check this all out with our wives… to see if it will fly

Don Jones

Spouse approval… check. Do we do a gang grocery visit at Branson or are we dividing up the components at today’s meeting?

Dennis Jones

I make a motion we fly by the seat of our pants as usual and play it by ear when we get there… you know… the Brother Jones way….

Dennis Jones

…and I believe we should all wear sombreros as we serve the meal…

Don Jones

I sort of second that… but am not too sure of myself. Let me ask my wife first (Go ahead and call me wuss)

Don Jones

That could be our saving grace… in case the food is crappy we could make it up in our decor.

Dennis Jones

I also believe we should roam from picnic table to picnic table during the meal playing live Mexican music… I will play the guitar… Don, you play a small Cassio Keyboard… Doug, you play the Kazoo…

Doug Jones

I better get out my Kazoo polish

Dennis Jones

Doug, you will also need to play rhythm guitar and sing so you better get one of those Bob Dylan harmonica holder things to put your kazoo in…

Don Jones

We can do our tricked up version of Jose Faleeciano’s Light My Far… followed by a little ditty by that great Mexican from the 70s: Freddy Fender Wasted Days and Wasted Nights. Those are guaranteed crowd pleasers.

Doug Jones

Planning ahead would be the logical way to do this… but it wouldn’t be the JONES way. If this was a logical world… cowboys would ride sidesaddle.

Dennis Jones

…now thats disturbing….

Don Jones

Yea… and when us brothers go to the zoo, we have two tickets… one to get in, one to get out.

Dennis Jones

Don I was thinking maybe we could do that Mexican favorite “Conquistador” by Procul Harum and you could do the orchestral parts on the Cassio keyboard…

Don Jones

I love that tune Conquistador your stallion stands… Den, you always did that lead vocal so well…

Summer Wheatley

who wants to eat chiminychangas anyway? I know I don’t

Don Jones

I just got off the horn conference call with my people. Another option here is LASAGNA. Buy the tin family platters from Wal-Mart, throw ‘em the oven with a big, crisp green salad…a little Neo Ice-cream…VOILA! Time to eat… Obviously we would be doing Italian tunes for entertainment.

Nick Jones Everybody

how do you guys post 21 times in one morning? You really should just have a morning brother jones conference call or something. I read for like half an hour and figure out that I have learned nothing. Everyone is now dumber for reading this page….. but uhh…. seriously what are you guys cooking cause I gotta see if it’s worth the trip.

Dennis Jones

we are cookin’ up one really great rendition of Conquistador…

Don Jones

For an encore its gotta be the Irish Rovers Unicorn tune. Nick, be sure and bring along one of your Sinatra numbers… on second thought, maybe you could be our designated M.C… Massacre of Ceremonies.

Dennis Jones

…that Unicorn song always made me cry at the end… the poor little unicorns stuck on a rock to be drowned… sad… so very sad…

Dennis Jones

…hey, I was just thinking… another option for that meal we have to provide… have you seen those little pop top cans of beanie-weenies? We could give everyone a can and each person could heat there own personal can up over the campfire just the way they like it… and then we can have smores…

Don Jones

Sort of an old western theme… I like it. Cowboys eatin’ beans… do we know any western swing ditties? Maybe something off off Elton’s Tumbleweed Connection album. WHAT AM I THINKING we need do a Doobie’s Stampede album track Neal’s Fandango. That’s a mood setter…

Dennis Jones

no no… lets do Twenty-One by the Eagles… that was one great western song… had a dobro in it and everything…

Don Jones

Where’s Doug? Smoke break?

Dennis Jones

good question… while he is out of the room this might be a good time to vote ourselves big pay raises…

Don Jones

Dennis, in light of your recent CONSERVATION efforts… I award you a $25,000 Brother Jones Grant for your Front Porch Bird Reserve and Security System.

Don Jones

Dennis, How do you link in this area to a specific page? Duh… I’ve only used this for five months

Dennis Jones

well, since I cant actually write html, I just went into the control room, found a link from an old journal article, copied it, pasted it into the comment deal and replaced the old stuff with the new stuff I wanted…

Doug Jones

Hey… that beenie weenies idea sounds like a winner to me. And we wouldn’t need music for entertainment… we could just recreate that scene from Blazing Saddles. Now about that pay raise…

Doug Jones

Now that I’m back… YOU guys are out takin’ smoke breaks.

Doug Jones

Goodgollybum! This is one long smoke break…. you guys must have gotten a box of cubans

Don Jones

Here me am. The Ripley’s job had to be Fed-X’d again to the Orlando Odditorioum ‘cause I forgot to include some files!!

Dennis Jones

Hey… just sticking my head in the door to say it is a nice day and I am going to go out and spread some peat moss in the garden… I will check back in later in the afternoon…

Doug Jones

Ah good… now that everybody showed up I declare this meeting officially adjourned. I’m off to see Star Wars III

Don Jones

I’d have Pete spread the moss.

Dennis Jones

Meeting adjourned… kaBANG.

~

~ BROTHER JONES BONUS COVERAGE ~

In the postings above, my little brother Don’s comments about Procul Harem’s song “Conquistador” were referring to an old page of his which is posted below.

~

January 19, 2005

Conquistador

DennisWorldTour

It’s not common knowledge but Dennis took a Zondervan driven hiatus this past fall. Standing on the brink of work overload insanity, Dennis made a decision to scrap it all and pursue his other love street performance. He packed up his instrument and hit the subways of Fort Wayne.

Sad to report that the first afternoon session was his last. During his moving rendition of Conquistador a disgruntled, rabid hockey lovin’ fan suffering from NHL withdrawals bodychecked Dennis into the turnstyle and repeatedly high-sticked his accordian into oblivion.

Forsaking his musical dream, Dennis gathered the scattered remnants of his beloved instrument, removed his stage hat and eyewear for the final time and returned to his third floor studio. Once again, reality rears its ugly head back to the illustration grindstone.

The Comments

Doug Jones

Pity… the world needs more singing illustrators. This reminds me of a time when I was in the shower at the YMCA when an older gentleman walked in singing “Lady of Spain I a-dore you…” I’ll never forget that.

Pete Jones

I still remember the Weasel Boy “Rock n Roar tour” of ‘88 back when Dennis “Screeching Weasel” Jones wore spandex pants and had long hair. Those were the days…

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Survivor: Guatemala

October 18, 2005

EarthMonster

This seasons Survivor television show is being played out in the jungles of Guatemala amidst ancient Mayan ruins. In episode three there was a basketball type challenge. The reason they did this is because the Mayans used to play “Pok-Ta-Pok”… a brutal form of modern day basketball.

This reminded me of a job I did in the early nineties for my buddy Joe Bohrer.

The project was for a new line of tennis shoes from LA Gear. Joe came up with this great marketing idea about an awesome ancient Mayan basketball team called EarthMonsters. This is the comic book we did to promote the new product.

By the way… Joe was just on HGTV building one of his utopia chairs. You can take a look at it on the HGTV website.

The Comments

Don Jones

That is some good stuff. Seems like the last time I saw some EarthMonster stuff was on a clearance rack in a Branson outlet store. Seems like it was headbands. WIsh I had bought some of that merchandise…

Doug Jones

It looks like those ancient Mayans were also into steroids. Hey, Don if you are back in Branson pick me up an EarthMonster buff… OK?

Dennis Jones

…yes Doug, I believe you are right about the steroids… in fact, I think this guys name is Uncle Roid…

Doug Jones

ah… that’s nice to know… at least American athletes didn’t start the trend… they were just copying the ancient Mayan jocks

Dennis Jones

… I just got back from the dentist and boy did I HIT THE JACKPOT!!… a cracked back molar, an abscessed root… and yes, thats right… I won a brand spankin’ new ROOT CANAL!! …this is indeed my lucky day… I can hardly wait for the festivities to begin……

Doug Jones

but when they are through, they will give you a new toothbrush… makes it all worthwhile!

Dennis Jones

…I know… it’s a win/win situation!

Don Jones

That’s great Den. Once you get that extreme mouth makeover you’ll be set for the holidays. Ask for extra pain killers. Do you remember our first tag-team visit to the dentist and between us we had about 47 cavities? The rotting wonder of sugar is amazing stuff. Hey Hoss… don’t floss! (I just made that little slogan up there for the Brother Jones visitors.)

Dennis Jones

…Don I think you should open up another one of our Brother Jones web stores dedicated exclusively to that inspirational and motivational floss slogan you just came up with…

This Is So Easy

January 31, 2006

NoahzArk

…can you spot the hidden reference?

I just finished this Noah’s Ark illustration. I have done many of these over the years, but this one has a little something extra in it. Lets play the “Can You Find It” game. I tucked a movie reference into this picture somewhere… can you find it?

…(this is so easy, a caveman could do it).

The Comments

Caveman Anti Defamation

NOT COOL

Dennis Jones

…seriously, I didnt even know you guys were still around…

Caveman

Next time, do a little research…

Caveman

…Ill take the roast duck… with mango Salsa.

Caveman Two

…I dont have much of an appetite…

Doug Jones

I’m KING of the WORRRRRRRLD! … no, really I am. Seriously.

Dennis Jones

…well… that little game didn’t last very long…

Doug Jones

game?…. what game? I AM king of the world. …I like the Alley Oop arms on the bears

Dennis Jones

…thats what ya get when you dont use any reference for your animals…

Don Jones

Dennis Jones – Art … “All Illustrations are Reference Free!”

Dennis Jones

…thats right, Don… if I dont know from memory what a character looks like I just draw in stick arms and legs… like I did with the monkeys in this picture…

Don Jones

I just read in the paper they have opened up the TITANIC museum in Branson. For about $17 you can see the stairway and the boat’s steering wheel… not sure what else. Believe it.. OR NOT!

Dennis Jones

…that sounds like a titanic disaster waiting to happen…

Don Jones

Branson also has recently added a TARGET … I forgot what else. It doesn’t matter.

Don Jones

Come on Den … anything new would be great here. I like the picture and everything but I need some variety in my visual diet.

Dennis Jones

…hey… I posted up last month… something… I think…

Squid Lips Sid

February 17, 2010

OneEyedPossum

What we have here is your basic one eyed, peg legged pirate possum selling fake Rolex watches to unsuspecting tourists…

The Comments

The “Ripleys” Guy

I just saw him in Cancun last week! Are you serious…..the watches aren’t real?

Don Jones

Obviously this Cancun pirate vermin has ties to the Ripley’s Believe it or Not museum in Branson. Either that, or he used to be employed by Sammy’s Lane’s Pirate cruise on Lake Taneycomo. I love this little hustler…

Dennis Jones

…hey, did I ever tell you I actually got a job way back when as the Sammy Lane’s Pirate Cruise tour guide/banjo player guy but chickened out and quit before my first day because I knew my banjo playing wasn’t going to be near good enough… true story…

Doug Jones

Oh yeah… the old basic one eyed, peg legged pirate possum selling fake Rolex watches trick… and I fell for it again… now I have 12 Rolex watches…

Dennis Jones

…well, if you bought them from Sid, you’ll need 12 more in about a month…

jack foster

Great pirate possum Dennis! Love this guy! I got one of his watches for my wife on our honeymoon. Bad idea! lol I’m a huge fan. :o)

Dennis Jones

…you can’t go too far wrong with a nice pair of fake Oakley sunglasses, but we might want to draw the line at the fake Rolex watches…

Don Jones

We scored Oakley knockoffs at the gas station in Mountain Grove… need to check out the fine jewelry next visit. Probably behind the counter and the corn dogs.

Dennis Jones

…a word to the wise …don’t buy the fake corn dogs…

Nik

Awesome,love the mouth there.

The “Ripleys” Guy

The corn dogs weren’t real?????

Jeff

They are real, just not real corn or dog…..

Dennis Jones

…surprisingly, the fake corn dogs ARE actually real corn and dogs… whooda thought?

Don Jones

I hear ya on that banjo-playing back out pirate gig… any self respecting pirate can only play Cripple Creek so many times…

Dennis Jones

…aaArrgg matie …and Cripple Creek be the one and only song I can play… be it then or now…

Jeff

O.K. I learn something new about Dennis every week….I had no idea you could play a Redneck Harp..

Dennis Jones

…well, the word “play” might be putting what I do with a banjo a little strong…

Don Jones

10 ways to improve your banjo playing, Den

1. Buy wire cutters
4. Wear ear plugs
3. Accompany a tuba
6. Play underwater
5. Play in a dark, soundproof place such as a closet or car trunk
9. Visualize Playing Banjo- only.
10. Give your banjo away

Doug Jones

Q. how do you get a banjo player to leave your porch? A. pay him for the pizza

Juan Villarruel

Great,wonderfoul

Dennis Jones

…Doug, you still got your banjo?

Nik

..and Banjo is his name-O!

Johanna Urban

Thats a old scary rat! I love it 🙂 Have you made it? Johanna from Sweden