Brother Jones News Center

April 21, 2006

NewsCenter

…live, local and breaking news at the top of each hour…

At Brother Jones News Center, when news breaks… we fix it.

Todays topic: Nutrition

New research, (supported by the Dairy Industry), shows that chocolate milk is just as effective as sports drinks, (like Gatorade), at helping athletes recover from strenuous exercise. As a finely conditioned athlete myself, I have personally switched to drinking only chocolate milk after workouts and have found this to, in fact, be true.

In further health news, it is being reported that Americans are not getting enough protein in their breakfasts any more. In an effort to remedy this in my own life, I have started adding gravy to my Cheerios in the morning.

On a totally unrelated note, I have been experiencing mysterious weight gain over the past few months. I am keeping a close eye on this crisis and will file a report on any breaking news as this situation develops.

The Comments

Doug Jones

…great reporting there, Den. Say, is that Katie Couric sitting next to you? I thot she was going over to CBS… but I guess your fringe bennys are better. All the chocolate milk you can drink and GRAVY!!

Don Jones

Do I smell bacon frying?

Dennis Jones

…mmmmmm …I’ll be back in a while… I’m headed for Crackerbarrel…

Jeff

After minutes of extensive research I concluded that if you eat all the right things, don’t have any bad habits, and jog 3 miles a day…When you die, you are much healthier than other dead people. Wheres the chocomoojuice?

Doug Jones

I’m really lovin’ your new studio there, Denny. Looks like BrotherJones Special Bonus Friday! Three new pages the same day! Woo Hoo!

Don Jones

The set is very warm and inviting. A good contrast to the harsh and provactive news reporting… especially by that little poker face monkey.

Don Jones

You’ve got a similar doo to Matt Lauer.

Dennis Jones

…I taught Matt Lauer everything he knows about news reporting…

Don Jones

I’m happy to report my concrete etching is now complete. With a second coat color change the job was a complete success. NOTE: Slate grey is in reality a Slate BLUE grey. Weathered concrete is the color of choice.

Dennis Jones

…glad to hear you got your job finished, Don… I am still trying to get my front porch railing painted… what a horrible thing this has turned out to be… a nightmare from which there is no escape…

Don Jones

Rail painting can be made worse with HIGH TEMPERATURES and lots of bugs. Have you considered finding a local Boy Scout troop in need of community service?

Doug Jones

I had a BAD experience once painting some wroght iron railing. That twisting metal will drive you crazy trying to paint. … you COULD get too busy to finish, and leave it for Pete to do when he comes home. think about it.

Dennis Jones

…Pete painting is a good idea, Doug… except that he is staying in Oklahoma this summer and working his two jobs… so I STILL have to finish this crummy painting job…

Don Jones

Can’t your lovely wife sling a little paint?

Dennis Jones

…when Karen gets home and sees the “Brother Jones” job I did on the front porch that might not be all she’s slinging…

Don Jones

Get yourself to Wal-Marts and buy a bouquet and some chocolates… and get some for Karen too.

Doug Jones

Why do I have the feeling you are out painting railings today?

Don Jones

I believe he had to go into town for more paint… but I’m thinking Dennis went WAY out of town… as in San Francisco or SOMEthing…

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The12DaysOf Fishmas Day5

December 18, 2009

Fishmas5

On the fifth day of Fishmas ole Socmo gave to me… five octopuses…

…four yellow fish… three lobsters… two dim sea turtles… and a clown fish in a blue sea…

The Comments

Jeff

I see this song going straight to the top right over Grandma got run over by a reindeer.

Dennis Jones

…that song will have tire tracks on it’s back by the time we’re thru here…

Nik

Coolness indeed!!!

Dennis Jones

…this guy was apparently eating Cheerios for breakfast because they seem to be stuck all over his tentacles…

A Tough Old Cowboy

March 3, 2010

CowboyByLake

A tough old cowboy told his grandson that if he wanted to live a long life, the secret was to sprinkle a pinch of gun powder on his oatmeal every morning.

The grandson did this religiously to the age of 103. When he died, he left 14 children, 30 grand-children, 45 great-grandchildren, 25 great-great grandchildren, and a 15 foot hole where the crematorium used to be.

The Comments

Jeff

Badda Bing……

Dennis Jones

…true story …I read about it on the internets…

Don Jones

Obviously, he was not a smoker… fantastic story/picture combo…

Jeff

He left quite an impression on his home town..

Dennis Jones

…holy smokes!

Doug Jones

ka zinga…

Nik

Badda-Bing,Badda-Boom!

Don Jones

I have found a pinch of Folgers coffee grounds between cheek and gum provides many hours of productivity and bad breath.

Dennis Jones

…hey, I just did a blast from the past. I cut up a couple of bananas, put them in a bowl with a little sugar and milk and had them for desert. Mom used to get us to eat bananas that way when we were growing up. I haven’t done that for decades…

Doug Jones

all you are missing is the Cheerios…

Dennis Jones

…I was walking through Walmart the other day and they had a big display of CHOCOLATE Cheerios and I bought me a box… but I wouldn’t want you to think I am an impulse buyer… I probably wanted those when I walked in and just didn’t know it…

Don Jones

That’s MONKEY CEREAL MAN! I too indulge in the liquified bowl of banana utopia on occasion… I chase it all down with a shot of IBC root beer for good measure.

Dennis Jones

…ha! …monkey cereal. So that’s what it’s called?!

Doug Jones

Ah… remember the good old days when you could entertain your kids by just putting some Cheerios in the floor? Them days are LONG gone…

Don Jones

I coined that Monkey cereal branding phrase. It’s the Folger’s “pinch” doing the thinking…

Dennis Jones

…Karen’s always tossing Cheerios on the floor for me to… hey, now wait just a minute here!?..

Rondell Jenkins

That horse look like he hawngry for some water!

Jeff

I see Sockmo thrown into yet another advertizing campaign.