Championship Mojo

August 16, 2005

ChampMOJO

What you have heard is true… NFL Championships follow me wherever I go. It doesn’t seem to matter how bad the team is when I arrive in the state, it becomes good when I get there… and then it wins the Super Bowl.

I grew up in the Missouri Ozarks and during that time the Kansas City Chiefs went to two Super Bowls, thanks, (of course), to the fact that I grew up in the state during that time. As you can see, the Dennis Jones Championship Mojo was kicking in even at this early age. I left the state and the Chiefs have never returned to the big game. Sorry Chiefs.

I moved to the Dallas/Ft Worth area the year the Cowboys fired Tom Landry. During my first season in Texas, that team won only one game and lost fifteen. Three Super Bowl wins later I decided it was time for me to move on. I had done about all I could do for the Cowboys. The team fell apart when I left the state. Sorry Dallas.

When we moved to Indiana, the Colts were another one win, fifteen loss team. Anyone that pays attention to football knows how much I have improved the team since moving into the state. Is this the year the Colts move past New England to claim the Vince Lombardi Trophy?

I believe my track record speaks for itself.

The Comments

Don Jones

I was all pumped for some Monday Night Preseason football last night… but to no avail. I ended up watching The Titans movie deal. I took a straw vote and you’re out of the Hall of Fame. Did you notice our draft is set for a week after the season starts?

Dennis Jones

hmmm… no I didn’t… thats different… but I still like the way there is a playoff at the end…

Doug Jones

I need some help… can one of you send me a cheat sheet? I need to climb outta the cellar this year…

Dennis Jones

Hey… I already told you Rex Grossman would be a great pick up for your team THIS season… he’s supposed to be the next Brett Favre…

Don Jones

I believe you can just let the AUTO DRAFTER kick in for you Douger and you’ll get the best players available according to their cheat sheets… I’m going with it. No use wasting any brain power on this… Dennis always wins anyhow. NFL Football is his Jones.

Dennis Jones

I’m using the Auto-Drafter… all I ever do is take the next highest guy on the list anyway… why not let the computer do all the work and then we can gripe, complain and blame the darn computer for our inevitable upcoming league failures…

Don Jones

It’s sort of an auto fantasy football league… no cost, no thinkin’, no problem. What fun!

Dennis Jones

…pretty much the same reasons I watch tv…

Doug Jones

I was going to auto draft all along… just trying to get some chatter going…. We could just flip a coin and see who wins the season. That’d be even more better!

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The Weasel Report

September 19, 2005

Weasel

The Brothers Jones have been playing fantasy football together since the early 90’s. Our game has evolved from a game on fax paper to a high tech internet game. My team is the Sheboygan Weasels… and this is our Early Season Report.

It looks like the real strength of the Weasels this year will be the quarterbacking tandem. I have Daunte Culpepper starting and Joey Harrington on the bench. Last week they combined for a whopping one touchdown. Of course, that came from my guy on the bench, so it didn’t count in my game.

But what I am proudest of is that my quarterbacks combined last week for a grand total of ten interceptions. They each had five. These guys show the essence of what Sheboygan Weasel Football is all about.

Yes, the strength of my team this year is definitely my two quarterbacks. The rest of the team pretty much goes downhill from there.

The Comments

Don Jones

It was pretty obvious the NFL.com auto-draft was not too kind to the Weasels this year. But if I know you Den, you’ll have those drop/trade buttons singing in the next few days and have that Weasel roster whipped back into winning form. I wonder if there is a Vince Lobotomy Super Bowl Gourd on the horizon for this year’s Stupor Bowl winner? An oblong gourd painted in beautiful aluminum patena… that’s Spanish for color.

Dennis Jones

…I am really wanting to draft the Burger King… I see him making plays every week… but I cant seem to find him on the free agent list…

Don Jones

He creeps me out. I haven’t had a whopper in years just because of him.

Dennis Jones

He is creepy, but have you noticed he is making highlight film plays every week… that guy has got game!

Doug Jones

ARRRRRR! Ahoy mateys! Ye needs some new recruits? Go shanghai a NFL vessel sailin’ in yer waters. Me… I like the Pepsi machine… got good hands…

Don Jones

In part because the D he’s playing against is so stinkin’ soft. Put him against McDonald’s Big D or even that noted cornerback Wendy and he’d be chewing the turf. That’s just my opinion.

Dennis Jones

…the Pepsi machine does have good hands, but it’s way too slow for the Weasels…

Dennis Jones

THE WEASEL REPORT UPDATED UPDATE

So far in four games Culpepper and Harrington have combined for thirteen interceptions and three touchdowns… (the three touchdowns, of course, came from the guy I have sitting on the bench)… I am sure glad Dante is a franchise player and cannot be traded… Whew!

Don Jones

I stayed up to the bitter end of MNF. And boy was it worth it. I love the crazy long bombs by the pathetically weak Redskin offense. The Tuna was beside himself… I guess that makes him a side of tuna.

Dennis Jones

THE WEASEL REPORT PLAYER PROFILE

Todays featured player… tight end Marcus Pollard.

I was so pleased to see Marcus drafted by the Weasels this year. I have watched him play for several seasons with the Colts. Now that he is with Detroit he should be a splendid weapon for them, too. He is a gamer. Marcus is probably the best player on my team.

NEWS FLASH: Pollard is out with a concussion from last weeks Chicago game.

Well… at least I have another quality tight end waiting on the bench for such a time as this… Jermaine Wiggins… and seeing as how he plays in that explosive Vikings offense that has piled up one touchdown this season I will no doubt be wracking up the big points with him this weekend!

GO WEASELS!

Don Jones

My initial thought here (really)… The Weasels are a bunch of retreads.

Dan Lietha

I feel your pain over the Daunte Culpepper problems. I’m a diehard Vikings fan and was AT the slaughter in Cincinnati. My wife bought us tickets to the game to surprise me. Boy was I surprised! That was a $140 investment into depression.

Don Jones

Dan, sorry to report but I had a good laugh there at your expense. The vision of a wide eyed. rabid Vikings fan with an empty wallet, a big-time loss, no Randy Moss… this is funny stuff.

Dennis Jones

Well Dan… as a Vikings fan you no doubt heard the pundits in the off season proclaiming the Viking offense would be even better WITHOUT Randy Moss… I never did understand their reasoning in this… how do you subtract that many touchdowns from your offense and get any better?

Dan Lietha

I am happy to report that my Vikings pain has been totally HEALED! Tonight I found and bought a copy of the SEE WITH ME BIBLE and now I don’t even care about the Vikings season! I’ll spend Sundays drooling over this wonderful work of art instead of depressed over another NFL loss. Thank you Dennis! It’s a miracle! 🙂

Dennis Jones

…and if the Vikings get things turned around this season that will be a miracle, too!

Don Jones

Speaking of miracles… did you catch the crushed spinal cord miracle on LOST last night? When the good doctor was working out in the stadium and that guy paused to assist him with his little ankle injury… what was it that he said he was training for? World domination or something?

Don Jones

Maybe he was preparing to play for the Vikes.

Dennis Jones

…looks like the writers of LOST stepped up to the plate last night and are going to deliver on a really interesting season…

Don Jones

We’ve just recruited another LOST viewer. Kellie is now in the process of watching the intro hour deal… and some how 48 passengers survived. Excuse me! Did you ever use a needle?

Betsy

You have two more LOST viewers here! Last week Andy and I rented all the DVD’s from Season 1 so we would know what is going on with the show. 24 episodes in 5 days!!

Dan Lietha

And to bring this LOST conversation together with the Vikings talk, go here:– Very fitting.

Dennis Jones

…thats funny… as well as fitting…

Go Weasels!

October 20, 2005

WeaselSketch

One of the biggest games of the year takes place in cyberspace this weekend.

My beloved Sheboygan Wild Weasels (2 and 3) take on their arch rivals, (little brother Don’s) Sedro Wooley Phlegm (3 and 2) in what is destined to be a game for the ages. It’s big… it’s a grudge match… and it’s for all the marbles… whatever all that means.

Due to the Weasels slow start this season, disgusted fans have been lobbying for the team to change it’s name from the Weasels to the Possums since they always seem to play dead at home and get killed on the road.

Team owner Dennis Jones states with resolve and conviction that the team will absolutely NOT change it’s name to the Possums… probably…

The Comments

Don Jones

The Brothers Jones indecisive? Well, yes and no. The Phlegm will be fielding the one-legged Michael Vick this weekend seeing as how our back-up and past 2-week loser QB Brian Griese has taken his ACL into the shop for a makeover. Weasel Possoms are going down…

Dennis Jones

…the Weasels quarterbacking duties are up in the air, too… not sure if Dante Culpepper and the Vikings have returned from their Love Boat excursion yet or not… might have to start the Burger King at QB this week…

Don Jones

If you field the Burger King we aren’t showing. That is one creepy mascot.

Dennis Jones

…he’s no mascot… he’s a playmaker! …just watch his commercials…

Don Jones

He appears to have a real consistent self-serving non-team attitude with a botox’d face to match. Overdosed on Whoppers no doubt…

Dennis Jones

…maybe youre right… ok, were not starting the Burger King at QB this week… were starting the Pepsi machine instead… the Pepsi machines got good hands…

Don Jones

He’s not quite as heavy as the Pepsi machine but I hear the Subway’s Jared’s got game.

Dennis Jones

…yes, but he wears glasses… I need perfect vision from my starting quarterback…

Don Jones

Get old Jared one of them tinted face guards… that way my team won’t have to look at his face… plus, I’ve heard his breath is a killer. His breath gets him an additional 10 yards on every run.

Dennis Jones

ok… enough of this nonsense… ARE YOU READY TO MAKE THIS GAME INTERESTING?… HUH?… WELL… ARE YA?… THATS RIGHT… I’M YELLING…

I am so confidant that I am going to win this weekend that, if I should lose, I will let you pick ANY player from my team and trade for him with a scrub sitting on your bench…

and if I win… I get to trade for any one of your players for a scrub from my bench…

Whataya think about that, PhlegmBoy?

Don Jones

OH YEA!! I’ll take that little wager even though it means I will be DOWNGRADin’ by selecting from your scrub Weasel buffet. I believe my 20+ preview edge should hold up… Colts against the Texans… that’s should be about 40 points by itself. CHIEFS TONIGHT!… no t.v. coverage though.

Dennis Jones

Ha Ha… Don you have foolishly fallen into my evil trap… there is not a player on my team that is better than one of the scrubs sitting on your bench… so win or lose, if I can trade one of my loser guys for one of yours, I will have upgraded my team… HOO HOO! GO WEASELS! WIN! LOSE! WHO CARES! I WIN!

Don Jones

I’d like to up the ante with a dozen Krispy Kremes.

Dennis Jones

ok yer on… if I win I will go out and buy myself a dozen glazed… if you win you go out and buy yourself a dozen glazed…

Don Jones

That is such a deal. Cause you know… buy a dozen get a dozen FREE. Is it true that one donut has the equivalent of a pound of bacon grease? I sure hope so.

Don Jones

The Chief’s kicker Sir Lawrence KILLED US! Who ever heard of a kicker scoring 17 or so points? Who? Tines was on fire kicking a couple 50+ yard field goals in the Friday night Miami win. The radio reception was one step above poor but nevertheless… it was a NFL football game.

Dennis Jones

…well Don… sorry to do that to you, but I went ahead and unsheathed my top secret weapon on you which I said I had earlier over on your journal page.

Hey, there might still be some hope for you tonight… perhaps Michael Vick will score you 33 points in the Monday Night Football Game… but I wouldn’t hold my breath…

…in the mean time I will go ahead and start shopping the Phlegm roster for my new player…

Banshee

A few quick comments: 1) Chiefs fans around here were robed by the fact that they couldn’t watch the game, but I could vent for them for a few pages on that, so we’ll cut it here. 2) I thought the biggest game on the Weasels schedule was the one against the “Whoops, we managed to play a few guys on a BYE” Banshees that takes place next week… Banshee -FOWA: week of 4-10-05- Sometimes I forget what I am doing. When I come back to consciousness I find a couple of my players are on the Bye Week.

Banshee

Or “robbed”… either way, I guess…

Dennis Jones

Banshee, I believe fielding players which arent actually even playing that week is a true sign of confidence… and very intimidating to the opposing team you are playing… I DONT NEED ALL MY PLAYERS TO BEAT YOUR CRUMMY TEAM… you know, that sort of thing… I would strongly suggest you do the same thing next week against whoever your next opponent might be…

Don Jones

PHLEGM UPDATE I am enjoying my dozen KK donuts for this weeks unpredictable loss to those wicked conniving Weasels. I can’t seem to get the Lawrence Tines bitter loss after taste outta my mouth…

Mutant Gourds

October 25, 2005

MutantGourds

Every year we end up with mutant gourds. The top picture shows two strawberry gourds from last season. The first one is a normal five inch gourd and the second is a fifteen inch abnormality.

The other picture shows this seasons mutant. It is a basket gourd. They are supposed to be big, but this one is a monster. I put a baseball on top to give it some scale. I am guessing it probably weighs a couple of hundred pounds. I am guessing that because it is still green, mainly all water, and is so heavy that I cannot lift it off the ground.

Some people put bird baths in their yards to decorate with… but since this thing is too heavy to move, I guess it is going to have to be our new lawn ornament.

The Comments

Don Jones

woah… don’t hit that with your mower. I think this has the makings of a great Christmas present… I am preparing the slips of paper for the Christmas name exchange… Do you guys want any particular name? I’m presently taking special requests.

Dennis Jones

I would like to get Dennis’s name this year… and I want to get him something REALLY nice, Clark…

Don Jones

You got it… I suggest hitting the LIGER shoppe. They run specials every Friday: LIGER FRIDAY.

Doug Jones

If you cut the top off that big gourd and put a handle on it… it would make a coffee mug almost big enough for you in the mornings.

Dennis Jones

…and wouldn’t the coffee be just spectacular with that little hint of gourd taste in it… mmmm….

Doug Jones

Hazelnut flavor with gourd roughage… for that get up and go feeling in the morning! Hey, looks like the COLTS and the PREDATORS are both undefeated this year. Maybe they should play each other. I can see Peyton completing a slapshot into the end zone and getting an icing the football penalty.

Don Jones

They don’t hold a candle to your undefeated SCREAMIN’ SOCMONKEYS Doug. Wonder when Dennis is going to come calling on that Phlegm-Weasel side wager?

Doug Jones

The screamers took a hit this weekend… alas

Dennis Jones

Hey, Don… your crummy players cant even beat my loser, bottom feeding team of weasels… why would I want any of them? You can keep ‘em… I mean… I already have a team full of great players like Ricky Williams who has a combined 2 week rushing total of minus 3 yards… why would I want any of your losers like Priest Holmes and Shawn Alexander… I’m starting Ruben Droughns this weekend at running back and teaching those Boston Banshhees a lesson…

Betsy

The Brother Jones are working on drawing names for Christmas? The Sister Jones will be so excited!

Dennis Jones

…were working on WHAT?… I must not have received the inner office memo this morning…

Dennis Jones

Here are my suggestions for Christmas 2005 in Mtn Grove…

After everyone arrives we start immediately with the annual “Airing Of Grievances”… during this time we share with family and friends all the ways they have disappointed us over the past year…

We follow the “Airing Of Grievances” with the popular “Feats Of Strength” where the head of each household tests his/her strength with another family member.

Then we can open our gifts which have been carefully placed under the holiday aluminum pole…

(I am aware this may need some tweaking, but we have to start somewhere)…

Don Jones

Dennis, I like your thinking here. Get the negativity out of the way so we can proceed to the true meaning of the holidays… eating. Will you be bringing anything good to eat this year? I’m sure the sugar cookies will be in abundance along with a wide assortment of fudge and pie. I’m digging out my James Taylor Christmas today…

Betsy

Yes! A Festivus for the rest of us!!!

Don Jones

B.Y.O.A Bring Your Own Anesthetist

Betsy

I’ll see if I can round one up somewhere. We’ll definitely need one for all the back pain people will have after the feats of strength!

Dennis Jones

Betsy… a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.

Don Jones

Betsy I paid $89.95 and had a star named and registered for you. The Ellett. It’s in the fourth galaxy just a little left of the North Star. On a clear night you still can’t see it. Enjoy.

Dennis Jones

…hey, thats not a bad gift idea, Don… maybe I’ll get a couple of those for my boys this Christmas…

Betsy

Woohoo! Money for People and a star I can’t see. I’m just raking it in today!

Don Jones

I can already see these in the western sky The Nickstar and Pete’s Precious Guiding Light.

Doug Jones

I’m bringing a great big bag of Cheetos with me and I will be trading it for some hits of Nitrous Oxide.

Don Jones

Great idear there Doug. Cheetos will get you a big hit of something… plus some orange fingers. Maybe we can all get knocked-out and do a Brother Jones podcast. I doubt if our audience could tell any difference.

Doug Jones

podcast…. PODCAST! That’s what Dennis should do with that mega-gourd. Have a gourdcast. See how far you can lob it on live podcasting internet radio! Grab that laptop and hit the road to Huntington, Don. …. and listen to the Monkeys on the way…

Don Jones

Don’t tempt me. If I didn’t have my monthly haircut scheduled… I’d be gone. Plus, I have to pick Lola up from the Vet today.

Betsy

I’m thinking that donations to the Human Fund and the naming of stars would be great prizes for the annual Dube Bridge game.

IGOTNOTHIN’ MONDAY!

July 17, 2006

CharlieSK

…pencil…

Charlie

…color…

Hmm… July 17 …I suppose this is probably as good a time as any to make my first post of the month …so I am now formally going to introduce, IGOTNOTHIN’ MONDAYS!

…because I got nothing new…

…here’s some pictures.

The Comments

Keegan Jones

Charlie looks like he found a bottle of hair gel on the island! Very cool picture.

Kyle Jones

Charlie!

roballoo

Nice to see some new art again. Ahhhh…

Aaron

Dennis, I believe I have a Christian childrens book, illustrated by you. I think it tells the story of Jonah and the Whale, if I remember correctly. Anyways, I’m pumped I’ve been able to find your blog and see more of your stuff. I’ve been attached to your style of drawing for quite some time, and I especially like your drawings of sports figures. Is there a more underrated center than Jeff Saturday? Favre’s head jammed into the back of his helmet? Brilliant. – Aaron (P.S. Go Redskins!)

Dennis Jones

…wasn’t Jeff Saturday a walk on? …I think he has some sort of interesting story like that… I listen to a radio station in Indianapolis and have heard him talking to the afternoon team… he sounds like a pretty nice guy…

Doug Jones

Hey Aaron… I just took a look at your blog… fun stuff! The Cars windshield screen is a brilliant idea!

Dennis Jones

…yep, nice work Aaron… I alway forget to go look at visitors websites until my brothers remind me that I can do that…

Doug Jones

did you take your vitamins today, Den?

Aaron

Fellas, I appreciate the comments. I was thinking of ideas of ways in which I could fashion a Cars windshield shade out of an existing one. I have a friend that works up at Pixar and he says the product is not in the works, and he doesn’t know why. It makes perfect sense…. Silly question: Did you fellas go to art school? Or have you been just drawing and developing your styles your whole lives? Thanks again for the comments, – Aaron

Doug Jones

Art school… what’s that?

Don Jones

Aaron, instead of art school the three of us attended Reform School. Upon graduation we joined the artistic work force and have been laboring at the grindstone ever since. We no longer have noses. But you may want the other brother’s version of our rich family art heritage.

Dennis Jones

…hey… dont sell Cecil’s House For Wayward Young People short now, Don…

Aaron

You guys are too much. So no art school? Just turned a hobby / passion into a career? Side question: Do you play fantasy football?

Doug Jones

you might check out our bios for more background info… if you can figure it out. I know in my case, this is the only thing I am capable of doing. The temp is over 100 degrees today so roofing is definitely out as a career. fantasy football? fantasy football? Slowly I turned… step by step… inch by inch…

Don Jones

Aaron… if you get us going on fantasy football… our comments are sure to OVERLOAD. YES!! we play fantasy football. We created it. The much aligned AWFFL Another Worthless Fantasy Football League.

Dennis Jones

…we were playing fantasy football with fax machines years before Al Gore single handedly invented the internet…

Doug Jones

Right after he put the finishing touches to the internet, Big Al started to work creating Global Warming… did a great job judging by today’s temperature…

Dennis Jones

…that reminds me, Doug… did you ever start reading “State Of Fear”?

Doug Jones

good timing, Den. Yesterday was the used book sale at the local library. I walked out with a practically new hardback copy of that book for 4 bucks and a Beatles Abbey Road album for 50 cents. This is a fund raiser for the library. Folks donate old stuff and they have a sale 4 times a year. You never know what you will find there. I saw a girl pull a Sgt Peppers album out of a box so I looked and found the Abbey Road album.

Dennis Jones

…ahhh you just cant beat the high-end audio experience of listening to music on a thirty year old piece of hi-quality vinyl …todays crummy digital music just has not got the same character without the miscellaneous pops and scratches inserted randomly into the songs like a record album has.

…were Sgt. Peppers lonely hearts club (hic) hearts club (hic) hearts clubSSscckKREAaachhh band

Doug Jones

I was wondering what an Abbey Road album would go for on eBay. If I got a buck for it… I’d double my money!

Doug Jones

why do I have the feeling that IGOTNOTHIN’ Monday is going to become IGOTNOTHIN’ August? 🙂

Dennis Jones

…IGOTNOTHIN” AUGUST…. that’s a GREAT idea!

Injecting Fantasy Into Football

November 28, 2006

WaterlooWhales

…All-Pro Billy Bob Durkins…

I came across this old sketch and it reminded me of how much fun I used to have with fantasy football. I started up a league back in the 90’s when I lived in Texas, and part of the fun for me was developing helmets, uniforms, and histories for all of our pretend teams.

One of the guys named his team the Waterloo, Iowa White Whales. I decided all the players on his team should be overweight, (since they were whales) and have three numbers on their jerseys instead of two. Reading my notes on this page, apparently this is their all-pro cornerback Billy Bob Durkins who is the lightest member of the team at 386 pounds.

The Comments

Doug Jones

was this the player whose left ankle snapped under the strain and had to ride the pine the rest of the season?

Don Jones

Billy Bob was the best “undrafted” cornerback in the league. He had a real hankerin’ for the buffets in Waterloo.

Dennis Jones

…that team could run an “all you can eat” buffet restaurant out of business…

Don Jones

I’ve just acquired an awesome football photo to post… tomorrow. Stay tuned.

Doug Jones

stay tuned to what channel?

Don Jones

That would be KLBJ… on your radio dial. Komplete Lackluster Brother Jones broadcasting 24/7 in the lovely 5.1 monophonic chromacolor sound from the beautiful meth-infested hills of the Missouri Ozarks.

roballoo

KLBJ sounds like one of those new translations of the Bible.

NFL Overtime Rules

January 7, 2009

FootballDog

I would like to see the NFL overtime rules revised just a bit. I say keep the sudden death in overtime deal, that’s all good… just add the first team to score 6 wins. Simple! This would keep a team from winning the coin toss, running three plays and kicking a field goal to win. It would not have changed the outcome of the Colts-Chargers game, but if you can’t keep the other team out of the end zone when all the marbles are on the line, you shouldn’t win anyway.

You can see the YouTube video of this picture here.

The Comments

Dennis Jones

Doug Jones

cool! you probably spent more time coloring this than I did drawing it.

Don Jones

NIce mutt! Speaking of dogs gone bad… our beloved Lola jumped the Fed-X man last week and bit his pant leg and held on. Kellie beat her down with the package she just received. (Car keys from Cincy)

Dennis Jones

…man, the fun just keep rolling on in from that Cincinnati trip of yours…

Don Jones

My cell phone was dead so I placed a little call from the motel room to discuss the missing key dilemma. Upon checkout, I was made aware that call cost me $37.

Doug Jones

$37 is what a newspaper will cost ya not long from now…

Bernard

Whoo-Wee! these just keep getting better and better. I’ve only heard arguments for and against the OT dilema…but yours sounds like a reasonable compromise. Dog? I thought this was a failed drug-tested hare?

Zaz

Great dawg Den, compact and looks hard to get through if it was a lines man. OK boys, question of the day…who do you like, the Hoosiers or Gators in tonights BCS Championship game?

Bernard

Well, if “Like” means favorite I’m torn because I have always liked OU growing up but I am without a doubt a Tebo fan so I will be rooting for Florida. If “Like” means who do I think will win then I would say that OU has a slight edge with that O but that they don’t seem to always bring their “A” game to the big stage so…”Florida” It’s never simple for me…because I’m simple.

Bernard

Hey Zaz, you did mean SOONERS instead of Hoosiers did you not?

Dennis Jones

…yup, that hoosier deal Zaz tossed out at us threw me, too… I had to think real hard about who exactly it was that was playing tonight… I’m a Tebo fan, but also have Oklahoma ties… so… I guess I’m just rooting for a good game at this point…

Tim

We mean Tebow not Tebo.

Don Jones

I was thinking of getting Tivo.

Bernard

Dennis, Not counting slim and none, what are the chance$ ( or bribe$ ) of hiring you to paint one of my sketches? 1.) A full color psd or tiff 2.) The above PLUS a YouTube video for my blog (with digital painting credits noted). P.S. Don’t forget my Jones Bros. pheasant discount.

Dennis Jones

…Don, if you get Tivo you could watch Tebo at a later date… very convenient…

…Bernard, I’ve gotta shove anything extracurricular back into late February… well… not bribes… bribes are welcome at any time…

Bernard

Agh, I knew you would be too busy for such foolishness. But PTL your busy cause those heating, food and guitar lessons cost money! where do I send (email) the sketch to ( or do I roll it up and hide it in the secret coffee can, out in the wood shed )?

Zaz

Sorry gents, I ment Sooners my bad, It was a good game last night and I’m happy for Tebow, it’s also great to see what God is doing in his life. Could be a good role model in the future for young people. Can’t wait to see your next drawing, and what the subject will be.

Bernard

no problem Zaz…we knew that “SOONER” or later you would catch it! Lol! Well, it was a great game but don’t forget that ol’ Sam Bradford is quite a young man of integrity and moral fiber too…the boy reads the Bible before every game. It’s a good time for role models in the college game.

Dennis Jones

..hmmm …you don’t HAVE to be a convicted felon to be a good football player?? …I’ve never heard of such a thing…

Doug Jones

Pacman Jones is MY role model. I can’t understand why he has been kicked off his second NFL team…

Don Jones

Speaking of roles, I had a delicious cinnamon roll from Krispy Kreme yesterday. I took my coffee cup in and the lady behind the counter sort of gagged on its degree of filth.

Bernard

Speaking of models, I think they would make great football players. I have quite a few in the attic some finished and others not even opened yet. …there no high like Testor’s Glue high!

Dennis Jones

…check out this (old Brother Jones post) from 2005… two out of the three went on to become famous NFL football felons …I’m not sure whatever happened to that third guy…

Doug Jones

When Bean-ard suggested models would make great football players, I was thinking of the female kind. If that were true, Howie would have a pretty good team on Deal or No Deal. Super bowl contenders, even.

Don Jones

I enjoyed that blast from the past. Since my memory does not serve me well, it was all new to me!

Doug Jones

We can hide our own Easter eggs! life is guud…

Doug Jones

hey… are we up for a new season of 24? anyone?…

Dennis Jones

…I’m polishing up my brass knuckles and looking for terrorists to rough up as we speak…

Doug Jones

…and I am waxing up my waterboard…

Nate

Seen your art for years… are you doing it digitally?  It is truly unique – wonderful concepts… God sure dumped a load of talent on you, guy. Nate

Dennis Jones

…thanks, Nate. This last year in March I bought a Wacom Cintiq and started using it exclusively at that point to produce my work with… everything before then was traditional, brush and gouache work…

Flag Team Bullies

October 21, 2009

FlagTeamBullies2

I teach a high school Sunday School Class. A couple of months ago, our youth minister stuck his head into my classroom and reminded the boys to sign up for his ESPN Online Fantasy Football League. A girl in my class said, “I want to play, but I don’t know how.” After class I told her to go ahead and sign up, go to the draft, get some players and I would run the team for her behind the scenes.

Since this girl is on the high school marching band flag team, I named our team the Flag Team Bullies and made the team colors pink in order to tweak the guys in the league. So far I’ve dropped and added 22 players, we’re averaging 100 points per game, and if our team had not lost a game by one stinking point, we would be 5 and 1.

Our one little football girl is creating quite a stir in our league.

The Comments

Doug Jones

would you like to take over the Titans?

Dennis Jones

…is this the Titans bye week? We can only hope it is for their sakes…

Dan Lietha

I thought your player was wearing his breast cancer awareness pink equipment. Looks like a lots of the NFL players from the last couple weeks. BTW. I would be 6-0 in my FF league if I had used the right quarterback this past week. I used Matt Hasselbeck who fizzled out at -2 points meanwhile I had Matt Schaub on the bench and he had 40 POINTS! ARGH! But my VIKES are 6-0, so it makes things OK. 🙂

Doug Jones

Last night Jeff Fisher appeared with Tony Dungy at a fundraiser here. On stage, Fisher ripped off his shirt revealing a blue #18 Manning jersey. He looked at Dungy and said, “I just wanted to feel like a winner” Some folks here were offended by this… my, my…

Don Jones

Running a terror of a FFL team via a young girl… I’m liking this… I must talk to Megan and get her in a league next year.

Dennis Jones

Doug, that’s pretty funny about Fisher in the Manning jersey. I hadn’t heard about that…

Dan, RUN MATT SCHAUB EVERY WEEK NO MATTER WHAT! I see the Texans on a pretty regular basis because they are in the Colts division and he has a gun for an arm- maybe the best quarterback in the league nobody has ever heard of.

Dan Lietha

OK Dennis. Matt Schaub is in from now on (barring injury and bye week). If I win my league, I’ll dedicate my trophy to you … and rip off my shirt to reveal a Dennis Jones Weasels Jersey because you are a winner!

Don Jones

Dan, let’s keep the clothes on here. No use scaring the small children visiting this site.

Dan Lietha

Don, I’ll keep my clothes on. And truth be told, there is no trophy for the winner of my league. 🙂

Dennis Jones

…oh Don, you went and ruined all the fun… that woulda been the first Weasels jersey I sold all season…

Don Jones

I thought the official Weasel jersey was in fact… NO JERSEY with a big red-orange W painted on your stomach.

Dennis Jones

…people do tend to be pretty surprised when they order Weasels jerseys from us and we ship them a bottle of orange acrylic paint…

Jeff

I ordered my official Weasels jersey kit only to find out I can’t paint looking down at my belly….Go M.

Frozen Tundra CheeseHeads

November 3, 2009

TundraCheeseHead

Things are really heating up in the ESPN Fantasy Football Church League I play in. Today I am formally lodging an official complaint against the Frozen Tundra CheeseHeads because they have really sharp corners on their helmets.

(I have always been way more into the fantasy part of fantasy football than anything else)

The Comments

Don Jones

This illustration is “extra sharp”…  Isn’t it time for lunch?

Jeff

Just bring crackers and a cheese knife to your next match-up and the rest will take care of it’s self.

Kirk

Why the Bears C on the helmet instead of the G??? Are you trying to tweak Packer fans?

Dennis Jones

…well, yes and no… the Frozen Tundra Cheeseheads owner is obviously a huge Packers fan, but the “C” stands for CHEESEheads…

…of course, if I can add further tweakage by making the “C” look like a division rival Chicago Bears “C”, so much the better…

Doug Jones

I have a very similar player on my team. SpongeBrett SquareFavre. The helmet is almost identical… but it’s a sponge…

Dennis Jones

…well, the Frozen Tundra CheeseHead helmet is not! Here’s my official league complaint I filed earlier today…

I am officially filing an official complaint against the Frozen Tundra Cheeseheads. Their new helmets have really sharp corners and my players refuse to close-line tackle them anymore which gives them an unfair advantage. I hope the league commissioner will act promptly on this serious matter and issue sanctions and some sort of food embargo against them.

Jeff

I agree!! The clothes line tackle is a much neglected skill in the environment of todays football league. We have to turn to a fine sports documentary ” The Longest Yard ” to see this beautiful tackle executed well.. Fight the good fight Dennis!

Don Jones

Dennis: “Hey Doug, Donald keeps calling me the “E” word!” Doug: “The “E” word? What’s that?” Dennis: ”’Idiot!””

Dennis Jones

…boddaBING!

Don Jones

Stole that joke from Janson.

Mini Sewing Machine

January 5, 2010

MiniSew1MiniSew2

Karen got me a tiny little sewing machine for Christmas, this is the very first thing I sewed with it and, needless to say, I’m pretty darn proud of it…

The Comments

Nik

Nice.You’ll be the next Jim Henson and have your own shows.

Don Jones

If I am reading between the lines here, Karen got sick and tired of you messing up her machine. Am I right?

Dennis Jones

…nope, I’ve never run any kind of a sewing machine in my life… you would never know it looking at my first try though…

Doug Jones

I think we could sell those things! Just give it a snazzy name and put it it the BroJo store @ $9.99 each.

Dennis Jones

…and that would be the one and only thing you could find for sell in our current Brother Jones Store…

Don Jones

I’m thinking it has to be trendy and cutting edge… how about iSewn, the finger-tip massager?

Doug Jones

darn… I had a great comment that disappeared! I must have answered the question wrooonng

Dan Lietha

I’ve been waiting for a Dennis Jones report on your fantasy football results for this season. Many weeks ago you said I should stick with QB Matt Schaub and I took your advice … and I WON the championship game in my league! So some credit for this successful season for me goes to assistant coach Jones. You can come down to Kentucky and pick up your award anytime.

Dennis Jones

…hooHOO! Congratulations! Schaub is an awesome fantasy quarterback… and not bad in real life, either.

…3 teams (me being one of them) in my league had the best records going into the playoffs of 9-4. Unfortunately one was in my division and beat me during the season, so they went to the playoffs while I played in the consolation tournament (which I won). So the winner of our league ultimately had an 11-4 record and I came in 5th place with an 11-4 record…

…will the Vikings falter at the end of the season as usual? Can the Colts turn it back on after turning it off for 4 weeks? …should be an interesting postseason…

Jeff

Your sewing project is sooo, Pink and very,,,,, wow look at the time..

Don Jones

Dennis is all about color coordination.
Pink is the new black. I don’t know the meaning of that but have heard in the halls.

roballoo!

think of that pink thingy as abstract art and you may have something.