Hockey Talk 06/12

June 12, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

HockeyTalk

…waiting for the “GodLike” boost of energy…

Here is an actual question I sent to my son’s blog site…

Dear Nick Is Good For Oklahoma…
I have a hockey game tomorrow night, but I seem to be even older and slower than I was last year… is there anything I can do to remedy this intolerable situation??

Here is Nick’s actual response to my actual question…

Dear “Dennis”…
Thank you for your question. I suggest a heavy diet of Krispy Kremes and Mountain Dew right before the game. (If you are short of cash, Mountain Lightning will work) This will ensure a God like boost of energy, and allow a nice crash after the game when you are hoping to sleep… Hope this helps.

Willing to try anything to improve my game, I pulled into Steak n’ Shake and grabbed an Orange Freeze right before my game on Friday night. It wasn’t exactly donuts and Mtn. Dew, but since it’s an ice cream drink I figured it would have an equivalent amount of sugar in it.

Nick’s advice worked really well. I had energy to burn… until my third shift when I pulled a hamstring. This effectively meant I only had one leg to skate on for the rest of the game. If I were a horse they would have had to shoot me… but I played the rest of the game anyway. Quite honestly, my game doesn’t look much different whether I’m running at full strength or only skating on one leg.

So what have I learned from this experience? When you play in a hockey league where you are older than absolutely everyone else by 25 years or more, nothing is going to improve your game.

I also learned that I sure do enjoy having an Orange Freeze right before a hockey game. Next week I think I will have an Orange Freeze before AND after the game.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I vote for having an Orange Freeze and skipping the game… but that is just me… hey.. did you get that 24 tape? I paid extra bucks to try to get it to you before the weekend… but it was US Postal Service….

Dennis Jones

Yes, I got the tape… thanks a bunch for doing that… are you going to Mtn. Grove any time this summer? If so I will meet you there and pay you back… I’ll take you to Steak n’ Shake for an Orange Freeze or something…

Don Jones

I’ve heard the Key Lime Pie donuts from K.K. works wonders for injured hammies.

Dennis Jones

…I have another game this Friday night… I’ll let you know if that’s true or not, Don…

Don Jones

Use a whole tube of Ben-Gay too. The aroma will clear the way for a little one-on-one goalie action.

Nick Jones Everybody

The before and after method is def. the best way to avoid energy and provide for maximum hockey ability… Orange Freezes have been my drink of choice post-hockey game for years…

Doug Jones

… never had an Orange Freeze… but now you’ve flung a cravin’ on me…

Dennis Jones

…so yer jonesin’ for an Orange Freeze eh, Doug?

Don Jones

Have the boys at Steak ‘N SHake throw in a few ibuprofrens with that post game Orange Freeze and you will be relaxed and pain free by the time you get home.

Doug Jones

Don plays golf… Dennis plays hockey… and me?… I go to the YMCA on my lunch break and drink free coffee while THINKing about exercise. I call it THINKercize. Today while I was deep into my THINKercize session, I watched a little World Cup action on the large screen TV. Soccer actually looks a lot like hockey to me. That is… hockey played with no pads… or sticks… on a gigantic green pool table. Other than that… it’s just the same.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Doug, I concur with your comments …my biggest problem with soccer is that you don’t get to wear any cool equipment to play it… in hockey you get to gear up, wear a helmet n’ all kinds of massive padding… great jerseys… even if you stink at playing hockey, you at least get to look good while doing it…

Don Jones

Den, didn’t you come across a place that makes custom hockey jerseys?

Doug Jones

At BrotherJones it isn’t about how you play… it’s about how you LOOK! and Dennis… you… look… MAH-velous out there…

Dennis Jones

…that’s absolutely right, Doug… on BOTH counts… and, Don, all kinds of places make custom hockey jerseys… are you thinking it’s time to order up a dozen or so Brother Jones Winged Logo jerseys? …what numbers do you guys want?

Don Jones

I am liking that new sub-header there Dennis. Continuing from yesterday… who won that hockey game last night? I’m too lazy to search it out … or possibly it’s just the idea of having to leave the safe confines of the Brother Jones site.

Dennis Jones

…I fell asleep in the third period, but I think the Carolina Panthers won and are up in the series 3 to 1…

Don Jones

Let me guess …. you had an Orange Freeze and passed out on the couch?

Dennis Jones

…close …yard work and I passed out on the couch …and I gotta mow this afternoon sometime before it starts raining again…

Advertisements

Hockey Talk 06/19

June 19, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

WaterMoccasins

…just your standard, old time hockey team name…

I have played hockey with the same group of guys for the last 6 or 7 years. The team finally fizzled out over this past winter. We had all been threatening to quit for a long time, but this off-season we finally did it. When this summers hockey league rolled around, I wasn’t going to play at all.

Then I got a call from a friend of my youngest son, asking if Pete and I wanted to play on their hockey team this season. I said, “sorry, but Pete is staying in Oklahoma City this summer and working.” Pete’s friend said,”would YOU like to play on our team, Mr. Jones?” I replied, “you do remember that I am like really, REALLY old don’t you?” He said, “yeh, we remember, but we would still really like for you to play with us.” So against my better judgment I went ahead and said yes.

I have played on a lot of different teams in the past with a lot of different names and was really curious as to what the moniker of this new team was going to be. Maybe a traditional animal name like Penguins, Bruins, or Sharks. Possibly more of a classic name like Wings, Blues, or Leafs. Perhaps something edgier like Avalanche, Wild, or Thrashers. Nope, none of those names for us. Our team name is Water Moccasin Annihilation.

What does this name mean? I have absolutely no idea. I’m afraid to ask. I can only assume that we really, REALLY don’t like snakes. In fact, if a water moccasin should show up at one of our games, I shudder to think of what might happen. Annihilation I suppose.

I only regret that water moccasins don’t play hockey, because if they did there is no doubt in my mind that we would probably annihilate them. Unless, of course, I’m playing defense…

…because if I’m playing defense…

…the snakes just might have a chance.

The Comments

Don Jone

Can’t wait to hear the detailed updates on the Mocs season… Have you managed to pull your other hamstring yet?

Doug Jones

For added excitement, you should play Roethlisberger style… without pads or helmet… Imagine the stories you would have to tell… if you survived…

Dennis Jones

…well, for me, it’s all about the weird stories that surround my hockey games… because I don’t seem to be displaying a whole lot of hockey ability that I can talk about these days…

Don Jones

Behind the scenes stories are the best… give us some locker room gossip too.

Dennis Jones

…I did end up in the penalty box for two minutes in last fridays game… I’m not sure what I got called for… I did hit a guy pretty hard right in front of a referee… he might have dropped the “attempt to terminate with extreme prejudice” call on me…

Doug Jones

so when is the BrotherJones full contact Bocce Ball game? …this summer sometime?

Dennis Jones

…sometime in July I believe… don’t forget to bring your hockey sticks to launch the bocce balls with…

Don Jones

I need to get over to Army Surplus and pick up a helmet and some protection gear.

Dennis Jones

…I’m wearing my Huntington Deep Gourdsman Warriors helmet for the Annual Brother Jones Full Contact Bocce Ball Tournament… you Don will (no doubt) be wearing your Phightin’ Phlegm Phootball helmet… Doug will probably just want to wear his traditional folded newspaper hat to play in again this year…

Doug Jones

I have a feeling that this year I need to add an extra layer of newsprint… and a chin strap

Dennis Jones

…better start practicing your origami…

Don Jones

Enjoyed the Stanley Cup championship game last night. Those hockey players are rugged lookin’.

Doug Jones

hockey? …there was a hockey game last night??

Don Jones

Championship of the WORLD…

Roy

Dennis good to hear that you are still in ‘good’ physical condition. By the way, the room than you and Lynn built at Table Rock is still standing and doing well. Thought you would like to know.

Dennis Jones

…that the room Lynn and I built on Table Rock Lake is still standing could quite possibly be the most shocking thing I have read on Brother Jones to date…

Hockey Talk 06/26

June 26, 2006

HockeyBuddies

…just a friendly game of hockey…

Only one undefeated team was left in our hockey league, the mighty Puckhogs, and we had to play them last Friday night.

It was a tight game and somewhere in the second period while changing lines the puck zipped by me as I came out for my shift. Two of our guys snagged it and headed for the net. I jumped in behind them as a trailer, a risky move for me because I am a defenseman, but it gave us a 3 on 1 break. Unfortunately, we did not bury the puck in the net, it popped out, the other team grabbed it and roared back towards our net.

This was not a good thing. I had gambled as a defenseman, it had not paid off, I was totally out of position, and now the other team was working a 3 on 1 on us. I sprinted all the way back to the other end of the rink, they took a shot (which our goalie kicked to the corner), I swerved and headed for the puck.

At this point I had just used every ounce of strength I had to get back and had no energy left to stop… so I stopped by slamming (really hard) into the boards in the corner. My crash into the boards was so loud that everyone watching in the rink went… oooohh. Unfortunately, a guy from the opposing team who had the puck at the time got caught between me and the boards and the ref gave me a two minute penalty for roughing. Oh, well.

When the game was over I was talking to a couple of guys I knew on the opposing team. They said they did not see the play, but when they heard the huge crash in the corner, they just looked at each other, shook their heads and said, ”…we know who that was.”

…and they were right!

By the way… we won the game 3 to 2. HOO HOO!

The Comments

Don Jones

Man, that’s good stuff. Risks, board crashin’, out-of-control… sounds like your illustration style too! YOU”RE NUMBER ONE! YOU’RE NUMBER ONE!

Doug Jones

BAD refs! They should have given you a 5 minute penalty… then you could have rested more…

Cheran

Hoo Hoo? So does that mean that your name, “Water Maccasin Annihilation”, is bye owl? Congrats!

Dennis Jones

…that’s our dog, Moo, (in the picture) yucking it up with some stray cat…

Don Jones

This post made me do some scripture referencing… The verse from Proverbs makes this illustration that much better. Den, I bet you consider your opponent body-checks into the boards just friendly little induced wounds.

Dennis Jones

…absolutely, and I always try to apologize afterward just in case I hurt anyones feelings…

Hockey Talk 07/24

July 24, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

ChampionDen

…let the Water Moccasin Annihilation begin…

Last Friday night the beloved Water Moccasin Annihilation entered the hockey playoff tournament seeded as the number four team. Our first match was a tighter contest than we expected, but we were able to pull out a win in the closing minutes of the game.

The good news was that we got to advance to the next level of the playoff bracket. The bad news was that we had to play the dreaded PuckHogs who were the number one seed in the tournament. We were behind the majority of the game, but the puck bounced our way a couple of times at the end and we won the game in a sudden death overtime period.

That sent us to the championship game where we faced the number two seed of the tournament, the Puckers. This was a pretty spirited contest and by the time the first period was over several players from both teams had been thrown out of the game for fighting. That left our team with only eight players to finish the game. We played hard, (even the old guy on the team), came from behind, and then buried the Puckers in the last period, winning the game 5 to 3.

We got our championship trophy (and as all true hockey fans know), it is customary to hold the cup over your head and skate around the rink with it. Some of our players did this. I chose not to… mainly because the championship trophy was only about a foot tall… and it looked a little ridiculous skating around the rink with a toy trophy held over your head.

As I was leaving I noticed that the rink had called the police and officers were there to make sure we all went home nicely. It reminded me of the old adage, “I went to the fights last night and a hockey game broke out”.

The Comments

Don Jones

CoNgrAtUlAtionS Dennis on that fantastic Hockey ChamPioNshiP!! I was really hoping to read some details of you pounding some guy’s face with your stick or spearing or something but nevertheless… You’re a WINNEr.

Doug Jones

yeAH… and you are really STYLIN’ in that retro uniform. Say, is that some really LARGE licorice sticks on your forearms?

Dennis Jones

…well Don… there are some pretty gory details from the game… suffice it to say, it became quite a nasty affair at the end…

…the other team was quite pleased with themselves for goading one of our best players into a fight and getting him thrown out of the game… in the last period they seemed to turn their attention to me… for what reason, I have no idea… if I were them, I would be trying to keep me in the game as long as possible…

…just two of numerous incidents…

…I came flying thru the center at one point and a guy took his stick in his hands like a baseball bat and hacked me right in the chest with the blade end of his stick… I have a huge bloody bruise on my chest now where he nailed me…

…I kept clearing the cherry pickers out of the crease and one guy got so mad he hacked the back of my skates about ten times as hard as he could with his stick until he knocked my feet out from under me…

…I gave them all my best dirty look …boy, did that show them…

…it did not, however, get them to stop picking on me…

Doug Jones

“Everybody Picks on Dennis” … a new hit TV show for the fall…

Don Jones

That’s what I was looking for… details. I wanted to taste and smell the story. I’m thinkin’ you may be the Derek Sanders of this league… wasn’t he the Boston Bruin who fought everybody?

roballoo

Perhaps a more genteele sport such as Bocce Ball is in order. Curious to see what you put in your sketchbook after that game.

bernardfromtheyard

Hello Dennis, Great hockey uniform there…the Hulls would be proud. Hey, check your JB’s email ( if it’s a separate account as I have left you a commercial inquiry that you may be interested in. Love this site, Bernard

Doug Jones

are you outta town again? or just layin’ low cause the revenuers are pokin’ around your woods…