March 5, 2005
Dennis Jones reporting in with my Weekend Update of Failed Art Attempts.
I have an old banjo that has been leaning against the wall in my studio for years now. My first project of the weekend was to try to build something that could hold the banjo. In my mind this holder was going to be a beautiful art piece. It ended up being a nondescript mess of wood, paint and screws. The good news is… it does actually hold the banjo (but only if you balance it just right). Yes, it turned out pretty bad but still good enough to be the feature picture here on my journal page!
Since that project went so wrong I decided I would whip out a really cool picture for my portfolio page.
I knocked out a pretty decent drawing of an Indian and then proceeded to paint the living daylights out of it. You can always tell when I struggle with paint because the picture is dark and muddy. Realizing I was on a sinking ship I shifted immediately to last resort mode and started splattering paint all over the top of the picture in a pathetic attempt to trick people into thinking this is exactly the way I wanted it to look and it is actually a piece of really fine art. …but to no avail. Another bad job… but still good enough to be featured on my portfolio page!
We do have high standards.
BROTHERJONES.COM… Where the quality runs out… before the website locks-up.
Contemplating my next attempt at weekend art, I chose instead to put on my inline skates and cruise the neighborhood for a while. Fortunately when I got back I no longer had a desire to be creative and instead flipped on the TV, flopped onto the couch, and watched the Biker Build Off Marathon the rest of the afternoon.
I still cant figure out how everything they build on TV turns into something beautiful, and how everything I build turns into something that is only a day or two away from being hauled off to the land fill.
The Comments
Doug Jones
I guess I will have to agree with you here, Den. You are a complete and total failure at art. Have you ever considered selling Rainbow vacuum cleaners door to door? I hear it is very lucrative.
Don Jones
Dennis Did you incorporate some tinfoil in that banjo stand? What is the shiny stuff? I can still hear your rendition of Cripple Creek ringing in my dirty deaf ears
Dennis Jones
HEY!… I sold one of those sweepers in ‘77 so BACK OFF, man…
Dennis Jones
…sorry to snap at you, Doug… but I took my vacuum sweeper job very seriously… all nine days that I had it…
Dennis Jones
…that job was right before my plumbers assistant job digging ditches… that was one rough summer…
Dennis Jones
I started that summer selling shoes at Steves Shoes in downtown Kansas City…
Dennis Jones
I think I ended that summer sleeping in your floor in Nashville and drawing caricatures at Opryland…
DJ
And then they shut Opryland down right after you left right? Because we now have an overpriced mall in its place. WHY DID YOU HAVE TO LEAVE?!!!! WHY?!!! OH, THE HUMANITY!!!
DJ
You mean that’s a banjo? I thought that was one of your gourds. LOL.
Doug Jones
You can actually
Doug Jones
write more than a sentence
Doug Jones
on these comment things
Doug Jones
But this way it looks
Doug Jones
like you have LOTS of comments!
Doug Jones
good thinking, Dennis
Dennis Jones
I am shooting for the BrotherJones record for most journal comments and this seems to be the only way I will get it with this lame entry…
Don Jones
For a flood of words and a drought of ideas it’s BROTHER JONES!
Dennis Jones
…brothers… I hid a little surprise on the website yesterday… have you found it?
Doug Jones
As Schultz (Hogan’s Heroes) used to say… “I see NOTHING… NOTHING!”
Dennis Jones
Schultz… that could be helpful…
Don Jones
Hey, it’s like a treasure hunt! I hate treasure hunts.
Doug Jones
me too… I think he’s just trying to get more posts on this page
Dennis Jones
I am sure if you take the time to travel around the website you will be able to find the hidden treasure…
Don Jones
It’s more like a wild goose chase… so to speak.
Dennis Jones
Yes, Don… but let’s not lose site of what I am trying to accomplish here… only THE RECORD MOST NUMBER OF COMMENTS IN BROTHER JONES HISTORY! WOO WOO!
Marjorie
Happy Birthday! From one well-adjusted middle child to another.
Doug Jones
Since you don’t seem in a hurry to change this thing, I’ll add another comment to your list. It is hard to tell… is this stand made out of aluminum foil? Sure looks like it. Aluminum foil and turquoise is a killer combination!
Tami Otterstatter
Is it legal for someone who’s not a Jones to post a comment? Actually, spelling Otterstatter 50 times a day makes me long to be a Jones. Just checking in to see if I can find a brilliant artist to take a chance on a newcomer’s picture book… no banjo stands please! This must be my day! Not only did I track down my favorite illustrator, it looks like I also caught up with the guy who sold us that Rainbow 28 years ago – I think you owe me a drapery attachment!
Doug Jones
This IS your lucky day! Honorary Jones monikers can be purchased from the Brother Jones store. For a mere $50 YOU TOO can be a JONES.
Dennis Jones
Hi Tami… yes, it is legal for non-Jones’s to post comments here… it is actually encouraged… and Brother Doug graciously seems to be willing to sell you a Jones surname…
(we are very careful about handing those out… would not want to see a glut of Jones names out there)…
This would make it simpler for you to post in the future… instead of having to spell out that long, drawn-out Tami Otterstatter everytime, you could simply spell out Tami OtterstatterJones… much easier…
Doug Jones
hang on there… OtterstatterJones would cost EXTRA! Tami “when in doubt add a T” OtterstatterJones OK, how much extra if I hyphenate? Otterstatter-Jones adds that touch of class I’m after. Can I get a mug with that?
Dennis Jones
Hyphenation is always encouraged here at BrotherJones and is free… however… you cannot type over the date on your post as you did above… we will have to charge you extra for that…
Doug Jones
I think Tami deserves the BrotherJones COMMENT OF THE WEEK award given for entertaining comments above and beyond the usual drivel that gets posted here. What do you guys think?
Guy
yes
numero dos guy
si
Dennis Jones
Since I have been gone for a week and this is the only comment I have seen since I got back I will vote… yes… unless a better one comes along…
Tami Watchamastatter
I’ll-take-what-I-can-get! I’m afraid my 5 year old son has already trumped me on comment of the week: “My new friend’s name is Hannah. Too bad she’s a girl.” We gotta cut that child’s testosterone dosage!