The Straight Story

May 11, 2006

StraightStory1

…leaving Huntington…

StraightStory2

…road warrior…

StraightStory3

…semi’s are tough…

I fixed my riding mower and am now driving to Missouri to see my little brother Don. His oldest son, Keegan, is done with his book learnin’ and they are throwing a party for him on Saturday. I am hoping to make Indianapolis by midnight tonight and St. Louis by Saturday morning.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I see you are towing your own stash of Krispy Kremes… are you gonna SHARE?…

Don Jones

You’ll arrive sooner if you get that bad boy in the passing lane.

Dennis Jones

…I have a little laptop strapped to the hood of the mower so I can monitor Brother Jones as I drive but there seems to be some gaps in the free broadband service between cities…

Don Jones

Over inflate your tires and that should help the reception or possibly paint your teeth Navy and fire up the Blue Tooth.

Betsy

I’ll be sure and watch for you on the side of the road between St. Louis and Springfield on Saturday!

Don Jones

Bring a shovel along to scrape him up, Bets.

Keegan Jones

Do you mean Saturday NEXT YEAR? Guess you could always hitch a ride with a hillbilly truck driver…

Roy

Keegan….don’t call us hillbilly, we are Ozark Americans

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Hockey Talk 06/12

June 12, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

HockeyTalk

…waiting for the “GodLike” boost of energy…

Here is an actual question I sent to my son’s blog site…

Dear Nick Is Good For Oklahoma…
I have a hockey game tomorrow night, but I seem to be even older and slower than I was last year… is there anything I can do to remedy this intolerable situation??

Here is Nick’s actual response to my actual question…

Dear “Dennis”…
Thank you for your question. I suggest a heavy diet of Krispy Kremes and Mountain Dew right before the game. (If you are short of cash, Mountain Lightning will work) This will ensure a God like boost of energy, and allow a nice crash after the game when you are hoping to sleep… Hope this helps.

Willing to try anything to improve my game, I pulled into Steak n’ Shake and grabbed an Orange Freeze right before my game on Friday night. It wasn’t exactly donuts and Mtn. Dew, but since it’s an ice cream drink I figured it would have an equivalent amount of sugar in it.

Nick’s advice worked really well. I had energy to burn… until my third shift when I pulled a hamstring. This effectively meant I only had one leg to skate on for the rest of the game. If I were a horse they would have had to shoot me… but I played the rest of the game anyway. Quite honestly, my game doesn’t look much different whether I’m running at full strength or only skating on one leg.

So what have I learned from this experience? When you play in a hockey league where you are older than absolutely everyone else by 25 years or more, nothing is going to improve your game.

I also learned that I sure do enjoy having an Orange Freeze right before a hockey game. Next week I think I will have an Orange Freeze before AND after the game.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I vote for having an Orange Freeze and skipping the game… but that is just me… hey.. did you get that 24 tape? I paid extra bucks to try to get it to you before the weekend… but it was US Postal Service….

Dennis Jones

Yes, I got the tape… thanks a bunch for doing that… are you going to Mtn. Grove any time this summer? If so I will meet you there and pay you back… I’ll take you to Steak n’ Shake for an Orange Freeze or something…

Don Jones

I’ve heard the Key Lime Pie donuts from K.K. works wonders for injured hammies.

Dennis Jones

…I have another game this Friday night… I’ll let you know if that’s true or not, Don…

Don Jones

Use a whole tube of Ben-Gay too. The aroma will clear the way for a little one-on-one goalie action.

Nick Jones Everybody

The before and after method is def. the best way to avoid energy and provide for maximum hockey ability… Orange Freezes have been my drink of choice post-hockey game for years…

Doug Jones

… never had an Orange Freeze… but now you’ve flung a cravin’ on me…

Dennis Jones

…so yer jonesin’ for an Orange Freeze eh, Doug?

Don Jones

Have the boys at Steak ‘N SHake throw in a few ibuprofrens with that post game Orange Freeze and you will be relaxed and pain free by the time you get home.

Doug Jones

Don plays golf… Dennis plays hockey… and me?… I go to the YMCA on my lunch break and drink free coffee while THINKing about exercise. I call it THINKercize. Today while I was deep into my THINKercize session, I watched a little World Cup action on the large screen TV. Soccer actually looks a lot like hockey to me. That is… hockey played with no pads… or sticks… on a gigantic green pool table. Other than that… it’s just the same.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Doug, I concur with your comments …my biggest problem with soccer is that you don’t get to wear any cool equipment to play it… in hockey you get to gear up, wear a helmet n’ all kinds of massive padding… great jerseys… even if you stink at playing hockey, you at least get to look good while doing it…

Don Jones

Den, didn’t you come across a place that makes custom hockey jerseys?

Doug Jones

At BrotherJones it isn’t about how you play… it’s about how you LOOK! and Dennis… you… look… MAH-velous out there…

Dennis Jones

…that’s absolutely right, Doug… on BOTH counts… and, Don, all kinds of places make custom hockey jerseys… are you thinking it’s time to order up a dozen or so Brother Jones Winged Logo jerseys? …what numbers do you guys want?

Don Jones

I am liking that new sub-header there Dennis. Continuing from yesterday… who won that hockey game last night? I’m too lazy to search it out … or possibly it’s just the idea of having to leave the safe confines of the Brother Jones site.

Dennis Jones

…I fell asleep in the third period, but I think the Carolina Panthers won and are up in the series 3 to 1…

Don Jones

Let me guess …. you had an Orange Freeze and passed out on the couch?

Dennis Jones

…close …yard work and I passed out on the couch …and I gotta mow this afternoon sometime before it starts raining again…

Crocodile On A Fence Post

August 23, 2007

CrokaDoodlDoo

…crocK-A-DOODLE-Doo…

I just got back from the annual, “haul your kid halfway across the country back to college” trip. I now have a ton of work to catch up on, but thought I’d better put up a new picture before I get voted off the Brother Jones Island.

The Comments

Doug Jones

It’s too late… we voted and you are OUT. According to our by-laws, you have one week to bribe us with a couple dozen Krispy Kremes in order to be reinstated to good standing…

Dennis Jones

…I thought you had to officially douse my torch first and say “it’s time for you to go”…

Don Jones

According to the Brother Jones Rules of Conduct, “Any blog not updated in a reasonable amount of time will be considered null and void and officially voted off the BJ Island.” Bon voyage!

Dennis Jones

…but I’m really good on the immunity challenges…

Roballoo

I dig that crazy sun back there.

Betsy

I heard you got stuck in some traffic. Was it around St. Louis?

Dennis Jones

…zowie, Betsy… we were making great time, got on 270 to bypass St. Louis, were cruising along and BAM, stuck in traffic as far as you could see in front of us and as far as you could see behind us… they were working on the bridge… 2 hours to travel 5 miles…

…Pete was in his car behind me and his air conditioner wasn’t working so a good time for him in the heat and humidity… I threw some gum at his car to liven things up… he threw gum at my car and it eventually melted all over my bumper…

…congratulations to you and Andy by the way!

Roballoo

Another reason to stay in California…Car Gum! Eewww.