Mutant Sock Monkeys

October 11, 2005

MutantSockMonkey

I cannot stay awake for an entire Monday Night Football game. If I plop down in front of a TV late at night I can only last an hour… maybe two before I fall fast asleep. Last nights game was a good one, so I made plans to stay awake for the whole thing.

Before the game started I drove to Walmart and (being secure in my manhood) bought a needle, thread and some buttons. I got a few odd looks from the ladies shopping in the sewing section with me, but I can handle it.

I drove back home, turned on the game, and built this mutant sock monkey while it was on.

I now plan to build an entire army of Monday Night Football Mutant Sock Monkeys. One day, my Monday Night Football Mutant Sock Monkeys and I will RULE THE WORLD Ha Ha Ha Ha…

ha ha… … … … ha… …

eh… … ahem…

…the good news is this did indeed keep me awake for the entire game. I even saw Ben Roethlisberger take the wicked hit to his leg at the end… hope he’s ok… seems to be a pretty good guy…

The Comments

Don Jones

That monkey is juiced! I’m guessing you didn’t follow any Sock Monkey blueprints. Maybe there is a market for VooDoo SocMonkeys. Stick a few pins in this and see if anyone complains.

Dennis Jones

..this is one strong monkey… look at those arms… I wanted to put a hat on him like Socmo… but his head doesn’t seem to want to cooperate…

Don Jones

Has Karen missed her sock yet?

Dennis Jones

I’m not that stupid… that’s one of my old socks… I’m not really wearing green argyles a lot these days…

Don Jones

It appears this sock monkey has nice dental work.

Dennis Jones

…and a somewhat pleasant personality… well… for a mutant sock monkey anyway…

Don Jones

I’m thinking you could name these sock monkeys based on someone from the MNF game like the Madden trailer. Invert his left knee and this could be Big Ben.

Doug Jones

SocMo is in L-O-V-E! He is requesting a phone number for this beauty.

Dennis Jones

867-5309… Tommy Tutone

Andy Smith

Hey How many socks does it take to make a sweet Mutant Sock Monkey?

Dennis Jones

…hmmm… I’m not sure if this is one of those “how many Jones’s does it take to screw in a light bulb” kind of questions or an honest to goodness question question… so I will gamble on it being the latter and say two…

Denis Kabistan

It’s a Jones conspiracy !

Don Jones

I just got back from the all new Liger Shoppe. Man, my head is spinning. So much Liger merchandise to choose from. I think I left my shopping cart on aisle seven…

Dennis Jones

…Don, there is a fine looking yellow man-bag that I think you would look really nice in at the Liger Shop…

Don Jones

You can’t fool me… man bag… yea right. That is your basic female canvas beach book tote. I will wait until it goes on sale.

Tami

Mutant sock monkeys…be very afraid. Do you guys mind if I post a link to your web site on mine…since I already did it? Just wanted to share the joy (and the Liger Shop)!

Dennis Jones

Hi Tami… Nice of you to drop by Brother Jones again… sure, link us up… and post a comment once in a while like you did in the old days so we can raise the level of discourse around this place…

Doug Jones

Tami… I was just checking our records and I think your semi-annual BrotherJones fees are due. pay up.

Don Jones

I checked out Tami’s site and she out-classes us by a mile. She’s got good grammer and spelling and everthing going on. Instead of listing us on the LINKS page… she might want to create a more appropriate DETOUR page to our web uRL.

Doug Jones

URL place, or mine? a little web humor there….

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Fake Fur

April 17, 2006

FakeFur

…staying awake for football…

As some of you may recall, I recently cleaned up my studio, and one of the things I found in it was a piece of fake fur.

I was originally going to attach the fake fur to my hockey goaltenders helmet and strike fear into the hearts of oncoming skaters. This, (of course), was faulty thinking on my part. If you know anything about hockey at all, you know that the only thing a furry goaltenders helmet would do to an opposing player is give him a target to shoot for. A furry goaltenders helmet would also be, (no doubt), very, very hot. So the furry goaltenders helmet idea was scrapped before it was even started and the fur got tossed into a corner in my studio.

Some of you may also remember that in a futile attempt to stay awake all the way to the end of Monday Night Football games this year I took up sewing. I grabbed the fur one night and this bear ended up being the last of my attempts to not fall asleep during a late night NFL game.

Epilogue: Fur once meant to strike terror into the hearts of enemies is now used to bring joy and goodwill to all mankind.

The Comments

Don Jones

If I remember right you had a hard time staying awake because of the crazy, multifaceted Indiana time zones that put the MNF game starting at 2 a.m. or something. Didn’t your Hoosier representatives get a new Daylight savings time issue voted in?

Dennis Jones

…yes, Don, we sure did… Indiana is now officially part of the Eastern Time Zone… except for the parts that are not… they are on Central Time… unfortunately, I am in the part of the state on Eastern time… so a Monday Night Football game starts at 9:00 for me and ends around midnight… I cant even make it thru the second quarter without falling fast asleep…

Doug Jones

SocMo would like to know if BearMo could come over for a play date. They could have a honey ‘n’ tea party! … SocMo is envious of that navel… his is missing you know…

Dennis Jones

…Socmo has too much attitude to hang out with this goody two shoes…

Fan of North (Rock?)

Hey, would you please send the info on how to listen to Pete Jones’ music via the pure volume site? We can get to the pure volume page, but can’t find him or his band on a search… Help, from Europe…

Don Jones

North is bringing fans in from the ends of the earth. I downloaded their two tunes from PureVolume and now have them loaded up for heavy rotation this week.

Jeff

I think a fur hockey mask could be intimidating but you would need to leave the rest of the animal it came from intact just hanging off the side.

Dennis Jones

…Jeff, I was also going to add horns to my furry goaltenders helmet, but I could not figure out a way to make them withstand a 90 mph slap shot…

Dennis Jones

Here’s a link to NorthRock on Pure Volume.

Roballoo

Wowo. I’m impressed. Does this mean you are going to switch your illustration style to 3d now?

Dennis Jones

…3d …4d …whatever it takes…

Don Jones

Nothing like kicking off a vacation week with a moving violation. What’s wrong with rolling through a STOP sign?

Dennis Jones

….yyaAAaahhh… you got a ticket for that? I thought it was ok to do that… at least in Missouri… in the Ozarks…

Don Jones

Yep, sure did. One nice yellow ticket on my way back from Wal-Mart. That was one expensive little trip for Cheeze-Its. I need to find myself a good lawyer and fight this thing all the way TO THE SUPREME COURT!!! My rights have been violated. ( I was turning right.)

Jeff

Just tell the officer, you are a civilian watch dog and you were just checking up on his work ethic.. That did not work for me in Texas but just maybe??

Don Jones

“But officer… as I rounded the corner on two wheels… the other two wheels stopped.”