My Official Weekend Report

February 12, 2007

GreenMo1

…in the laboratory…

GreenMo2

…it’s …ALIVE…

This is my official weekend report as required by the legal division of BrotherJonesOnTheWeb. Why I am the only brother that has to fill one of these forms out, I do not know.

The weather has turned vicious here in Northeastern Indiana, and we are running low on fire wood. This, however, is not a problem for a manly woodcutter like me. I walked into my garage to fire up my manly chain saw only to discover that whoever used it last had knocked the chain off and left the saw in disrepair. I, (of course), was the last person to use my chain saw sometime last summer.

I put the saw back together, (a very manly thing to do), did a cold weather start on it, hiked into the woods behind my house and started cutting lumber. I then drove my SUV back to collect the wood, got it stuck in a snow drift, got it unstuck, and then made several manly trips back and forth picking up wood, hauling wood and stacking wood.

Then I made a sock monkey… another very manly thing to do.

The Comments

Don Jones

This morning on the news they were reporting that burning freshly cut wood from the ice damage was not a good idea. it needs to DRY OUT (for about a year). Otherwise, you are building up some serious creosote in your chimney by burning it. I suggest burning your dirty laundry for heat. Stay warm and cut down on your warshin’ at the same time.

Dennis Jones

sorry, can’t talk now… putting out fire in house…

Dennis Jones

…make that house fire… gotta go…

Don Jones

HOOK UP A HOSE! Better yet…. GRAB THE HOT DOGS and MARSHMELLOWS!!!

Doug Jones

great looking monkey! uh, great looking MANLY sock monkey, that is… I can read the expression on his face… it says, “I wanna move to Florida!” It got down to freezing for a couple of days here and I immediately got tired of winter. I actually had to put a coat on… can you believe it? Two days of cold weather is all I need. No sign of flakes so far. This is all good cuz I don’t have a chainsaw… or woods to go cut down trees in. but we DO have deer that were eating anything green in our flower garden yesterday…

Doug Jones

Hey… I was expecting to see Weasel Boy on the Grammys last night. What happened? Did you get bumped by Sting?

Dennis Jones

…WeaselBoy wasn’t even nominated for anything! …what’s up with that?

WeaselBoy

😦

Dennis Jones

…they’ve been predicting bad weather for us all week and last night our Severe Winter Weather WATCH turned into a Severe Winter Weather WARNING… fortunately, today we are no longer under that warning… we are now under a BLIZZARD Warning… whew!… I think we dodged a bullet on that one…

Dennis Jones

…hmm …they’re saying now that we are going to have white out conditions …I didn’t think they even made white out any longer… I mean, with computers and all, who really needs it anymore? …anyway, I looked out the window to see what was going on, but couldn’t really see anything…

Dennis Jones

…hmm …they just declared a Level 2 Travel Advisory… unless you are an emergency vehicle you will be ticketed if you are on the road driving around… but I am needing a Krispie Kreme Donut right now, REALLY BAD and there are none left in the house… that’s an emergency, isn’t it?

Don Jones

GET IN THE CAR AND GO NOW MAN!!! IF JACK BAUER CAN UNDO NUKLEEAR BOMBS YOU CAN GET TO WAL-MART AND BACK WITH DONUTS!!!

Dennis Jones

…I guess I didn’t realize how simple it is to disarm a nuclear bomb… but after watching Jack disarm one on TV last night I feel pretty confident that I could do it, too, in a pinch… if that situation ever arose here in Huntington… like in my neighborhood or something…

Doug Jones

If you could put one of those Nookier suitcase bombs on your driveway, it would probably get rid of your snow for you… and your neighbor’s snow… and your neighbor’s neighbor’s snow… and ….

Don Jones

Attention my brothers I’m planning on buying a couple of syringes of Sodium Pentothal for you next Christmas.

Doug Jones

oh, goody! I love it when we play “torture the brother!”

Dennis Jones

…I’m thinking Jack is going to have to kill his entire family plus a couple of in-laws to save the world this time…

Don Jones

and the little dog too!!!

Dennis Jones

…NOT TOTO!!!

Doug Jones

how much snow do you have???

Dan Lietha

If those of you in this ice-encased frozen zone are trapped in your house (that hasn’t burnt down from creosote build up in the chimney) and you have to wait for the ice to melt to rejoin civilization, check out this guy’s digital painting info blog: danidraws.com Great info!

Dan Lietha

Correction … check out this GAL’S digital painting web site: danidraws.com OOPS!

Doug Jones

I had just found this site recently myself… great information there!

Doballoo

I see she’s a D. Jones too. That does it I’m changing my name to Doballoo Jones in an attempt to monetize on my nascent illustration career

Dennis Jones

…ok, well now… where are we today? I started shoveling snow at the crack of dawn and did that for most of the morning… how much snow did we get you ask? …pastorally speaking I would have to say we had drifts at least 12 feet high… realistically more like 2 or 3… which is nothing to snuff at when you are shoveling it all by hand… so now I’m trying to catch up on work…

…I noticed the danidraws girls last name is Jones… she’s not a sister I’ve accidentally forgotten about, is she?

Dougaloo

Dougaloo… has a nice ring to it, eh? I don’t recall a sister named Dani… maybe one named Mani would be more like it…

Don Jones

How about our sister Norah? We’ve yet to hear from her since she hit the bigtime…

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Granos De Cafe’

March 29, 2007

CoffeebBean1

…mmm… a fresh bag of coffee beans…

CoffeeBean2

…uhm… what’s this thing supposed to be?

One of my wife’s students just returned from Honduras with a bag of coffee for her… which means one of my wife’s students just returned from Honduras with a bag of coffee for ME! …hoo HOO!

The tag on the bag said these coffee cherries were hand picked, peeled, washed and clarified with pure mountain water by a centuries old process. The wet beans then dry on the patios of small growers, are sent to a 400 year old colonial town in Western Honduras and finally… and this is my favorite part… quoting the tag… “only the finest beans are selected by delicate women’s hands”.

I wouldn’t want it any other way.

The Comments

Dan Lietha

So, the theme of stuff to drink and an image of a weird mutation continues.

Doug Jones

The note on my coffee says it was harvested and prepared by heartless machines. Another great creature! Looks like a fierce coffee bull, protecting those delicate ladies. You are building up quite a collection of these…

Don Jones

I’m headed to Honduras!

Dennis Jones

…I wandered into our local coffee shop around 5:30 pm on Tuesday, had some sort of double shot coffee drink and surfed the internet for awhile… went to bed around 11:00… woke up just after midnight wide awake… around 1:00 I went downstairs, turned on the tv and started working on a mutant sock monkey… went back to bed around 4:00…

…note to self… no more coffee late in the after noon…

Doug Jones

I wondered where you got all your free time. now I know…

Dennis Jones

…yep… watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid for the 47th time and made a mutant sock monkey to boot…

Don Jones

Where exactly in Honduras do I pick up a bag-O-beans such as these?

Doug Jones

I watched a DVD from the library of that movie a couple years ago. It had bonus features of the stars talking about making the movie. I have seen Redford and Newman a lot and was used to seeing them older… BUT seeing an old Katharine Ross about killed me.

Dennis Jones

..fortunately for me I don’t look a day over 20…

Don Jones

Dennis, your last comment got cut off. You don’t look a day over 2086.

Don Jones

As the ol’ rotating banner reads… COFFEE! You can sleep when you’re dead.

Juan

Did someone say COFFEE!

Dennis Jones

…yikes… ok now… everybody… let’s all just try to stay calm here… Juan… I want you to sit the cup down on the table there… and back slowly away from the coffee pot… Don, Doug… get the net ready… does anybody know the number for 911?

Don Jones

Looks like Juan needs to hitch up his donkey and head to rehab.

JEFF

I think he looks kind of Homer Simpsonish’ if you look past the horns.. Btw, I think it was the Double Shot not just the coffee that did you in..

Dennis Jones

…he does kinda resemble Homer… those horns are actually the first set of arms I made for the thing… but they turned out way to big… so I sewed them to the sides of its head…

BernardFromTheYard

Dennis, go back and drink some more of that double shot Bean Martin Coffee and give us some art!!!!!

Dennis Jones

…I’ve got this weird kind of situation going as far as showing artwork on the internet… I am really, really busy right now and doing some really cool art stuff that I would love to show, but I can’t show it before the publishers have a chance to publish it, so I can only show art I do on my own in my spare time, but I have no spare time because I am so busy right now so I have nothing I can show…

Roballoo

So we’re stuck with mutant sockmonkeys in the meantime? Oh well, at least they’re cool mutant sockmonkeys. I love his teeth made out of buttons.

Dennis Jones

…let’s not think of it as being “stuck” with mutant sock monkeys… for the time being, let’s think of it as being blessed with mutant sock monkeys…

Doug Jones

…the Blessed Mutant Holey Sock Monkey… an Easter miracle!

Roballoo

Yes, I think you’re right Dennis. Don’t taunt the Super Mutant Sock Monkey.

Dennis Jones

…if anyone can remember the old Star Trek episode, “The Trouble With Tribbles”… that’s what my house is turning into with these things…