Christmas Vacation

December 15, 2005

ChristmasVacation

Its time for the Annual Brother Jones Christmas Vacation report.

Karen had me string up a bunch of lights on the front porch. They looked beautiful for about ten seconds then something popped and they quit. I had to call an electrician to come out and replace two outdoor sockets. So far, so good.

One of our bathroom stools decided it would start running continuously. If it had been any other stool in the house I would have been able to ignore it and hope it would somehow miraculously heal itself, but since it was the one right next to my studio I could not. I replaced the gasket myself, but it took me half a day to do it.

My internet service has been on and off all month. An email finally snuck thru and it was from Keegan telling me my brand new DJ-ART website was gone for some reason and he was going to have to rebuild it. Somehow that one did miraculously heal itself.

A coyote took a chunk out of my dogs hind leg.

Last night I was taking a shower and the lights went out, then they came back on, and then they flickered several times. I later discovered that all this surging power had fried one of my Direct TV boxes. I was blessed to have the opportunity to purchase another one of those last evening.

The weather forecast is predicting blizzard like conditions for the exact days we are going to be traveling during the holidays.

And, last but not least when I tried to post this journal article today I got the dreaded FATAL ERROR message on my computer screen which means this fine epistle may never see the light of day

but

HEY, KIDS, I HEARD ON THE NEWS THAT AN AIRLINE PILOT SPOTTED SANTA’S SLEIGH ON IT’S WAY IN FROM NEW YORK CITY!

You serious, Clark?

The Comments

Doug Jones

my, my… somehow my life appears to be pretty good… in comparison… I feel much better now… hey Clark, since we won’t see you Christmas, go to your local WalMart and pick out a present for yourself… something REAL NICE!

Don Jones

Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead? Eddie: Naw, I’m doing just fine, Clark.

Dennis Jones

Eddie: You surprised to see us, Clark?

Clark: Oh, Eddie… If I woke up tomorrow with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn’t be more surprised than I am now.

Doug Jones

OK… you made me laugh… why is this still so funny when I have heard it 3 brazilian times before?

Doug (not Jones)

Subject: Jelly of the month club- Eddie: “Clark, it’s the gift that keeps on giving all year long.”

Nick Jones Everybody

Clark: my cousin eddy’s heart’s bigger then his brain. Eddy: I appreciate that clark -Hallelujah… where’s the Tylenol…

Dennis Jones

Clark: My cousin in-law, whose heart is bigger than his brain…

Eddie: I appreciate that, Clark.

Dennis Jones

…well, that was interesting… Nick and I posted the same thing at exactly the same time…

Don Jones

do do do doooo… do do do dooo… That’s a little Twilight Zone background music for the Nick and Dennis identical comments.

Dennis Jones

Bethany: Is your house on fire, Clark? Clark: No, Aunt Bethany, those are the Christmas lights

Doug (not Jones)

Clark: Whats that sound? Eddie: Thats just snots yaking up a turkey bone, don’t worry about him, he’ll be alright.

Dennis Jones

Clark: We’re kicking off our fun old fashion family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh to embrace the frosty majesty of the winter landscape and select that most important of Christmas symbols.

Audrey: We’re not coming all the way out here just to get one of those stupid ties with Santa Clauses on it are we?

Clark: No, I have one of those at home.

Betsy

One of my favorites: Eddie: I don’t know if I oughta go sailin down no hill with nothin between the ground and my brains but a piece of government plastic. Clark: Do you really think it matters Eddie?

Dennis Jones

Eddie: It’s a good vehicle, ain’t it? But don’t you go falling in love with it now. Cause we’re taking it with us when we leave here next month.

[Clark chokes on egg-nog]

Roberto

Is anybody out there in America working right now, or just browsing the Bro Jones site & posting Christmas Vacation quotes? Clark: Well I’m gonna park the cars and get the suit cases, and well, I’ll be outside for the season.

Nick Jones Everybody

Russ: Dad, that tree wouldn’t fit in our yard! Clark: It’s not going in our yard, Russ, it’s going in our living room.

Dennis Jones

Art: The little lights are not twinkling.

Clark: I know Art and, thanks for noticing.

Roberto

Audrey: I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard staring at the house in my pajamas. Art: If they know your dad, they won’t think anything of it. The same thing could be said by my boys about me.

Banshee

I always liked how when he plugged in his Christmas lights, the whole city suffered a power drain. FOWA: week of 4-10-05

Don Jones

Here at the home we caught the television showing of this the other night… always good for a laugh.

mark davidson

The Queen of shopping graced me with her prescence and proved to me once again why she is the Queen! 21 hours of non stop shopping action was qwite a feat for someone of her age.

Queen of Shopping

Wow! I am pleased that I retain the title at my age. However, I can’t account for those alleged 21 hours. Maybe being stopped for a sobriety test erased my memory. What a joy, however, to spend time with fam at Christmas! DJ-art still rocks!!! (If only he had my little brother’s David Cassidy guitar he could REALLY rock!)

Pete Jones

thats awesome dude!