Trump Fires Four

November 3, 2005

ApprenticeBoardRoom

In last weeks shocking episode of NBC’s reality show The Apprentice, the entire Brother Jones staff was canned for a glaring lack of creativity.

The Comments

<{

Now wait a minute. I was sure I heard “You’re admired!”

Dennis Jones

…was that what that was? …well, I feel a lot better about it now…

Doug Jones

SocMo got a date with Robin on the way out though….

Doug Jones

I just love the way we are all giving the secret BrotherJones hand signal

Dennis Jones

…at that point we were willing to try anything…

Dennis Jones

…Socmo, (of course), could not remember the secret hand signal…

Don Jones

I guess our “Lynyrd Skynyrd” hearing was shining through there. I would’a swore I heard the Donald say, “Due to your glaring bald foreheads you’re fard!” (Arkansas translation)

Don Jones

Why are we dressing alike? Is that the official Brother Jones uniform?

Dennis Jones

Socmo’s idea…

Dennis Jones

…thats the last time we let him be project manager…

Dennis Jones

…at least Doug and I didn’t take his suggestion to wear funny hats into the boardroom… that didn’t work either…

Don Jones

If I come up and help you clean the house can I get a piece of apple cake?

Nick Jones Everybody

ok now that actually made me laugh outloud… maybe the creativity is coming back to the brojo site…. one suggestion…. MORE PODCASTS. Even if all you do is talk about sports you played in elementary school and cars you used to drive…. Ok well that was my one post for the month. I’m out of here.

Dennis Jones

…more PODCASTS… MORE PODCASTS… the pressure is just relentless… Don, I think it is time for you to unsheathe the musical podcast you have been holding in reserve that will embarrass Nick and Pete into not asking for any more PODCASTS…

Doug Jones

personally, I’d like a podcast with some golden oldies like, Begonji Boy, Bit ‘O Honey, Smelly Pirate song, Deerslayer Blues… and Alizarin Crimson… These should be shared with the world! cast them pods!

Dennis Jones

…well, uhmm… a couple of those would embarrass me and that wasn’t the idea here…

Don Jones

We would like to keep all humor and embarrassment directed at our visitors and our children. What are we… idiots wrapped in morons?

Pete Jones

hey pops, sorry to hear about that man…

Dennis Jones

…its ok, Pete… I will just keep on drawing funny pictures and hopefully we will be able to keep you in college…

Doug Jones

word is you are loading up your new website… when are you going to launch it?

Dennis Jones

shhhhh… nobodies supposed to know that…

Doug Jones

it’s STILL a secret… nobody really looks at this thing but you and me….

Dennis Jones

…you, me, and about a halfa Brazzillion of our closesest internet friends…

Doug Jones

You don’t actually believe those site stats do you?

Advertisements

More Curling In The Olympics!

February 20, 2006

Olympic1

Team Jones competes in 2006 Winter Olympics.

Olympic2

Speed Skating and Downhill Curling.

Olympic3

New excitement for the 2006 Winter Games.

I watched some of the 2006 Winter Olympics this weekend and decided my favorite event is curling. It appeals to me because I think my brothers and I could compete in it. We could go out, slide the stone down the ice, sweep in front of it, and then sit on the bench and eat donuts until it was our turn again. I like that.

Apparently TV ratings are down this year, but I have a solution for NBC; add curling to some of the other Olympic events.

I would love to see speed skaters lugging a small boulder around the track. Who wins in hockey if you have to slam a 44 pound rock into the net? Any luge-bobsled-skeleton run would be much more exciting with the weight of a curling stone added to the sled. Downhill curling is a no-brainer; who wouldnt want to see that?

The best part of the Winter Olympics is watching people going downhill fast and hanging on for their lives. The only thing better would be watching people that had to compete AGAINST their will. “Here you go sir, hang onto this curling stone and we’ll see you at the bottom of the hill.”

I would not change the Alpine Sniper competition, but I would add a gun to the trick ski jump competition. After the guy hits the jump and is upside down in the air he has to whip out a rifle and shoot targets. That would be sweet. This could be a little rough on the people watching in the crowd, but it would definitely send TV ratings through the roof.

The Comments

Don Jones

This gets me pumped to watch some more events. I’ve been out in my driveway doing some sweeping so I think I am in form to make a run for a medal. I was hoping for a platinum ring of some sort. Have you noticed the medals this time look like donuts?

Doug Jones

Herez a new event for you. You toss one of those stones into the air as high as you can and the vice president takes a shot at it… if you survive… you WIN! …we could call it Extreme Skeet Curling

Doug Jones

I like how we are never so consumed with winning, that we can’t turn and smile for the camera….

Dennis Jones

…the competitive spirit is not really a Jones attribute… we are just happy to be in the game…

megan

I like how “pom-pomesque” the stones look in the hands of the figure skating cheerleader…

Dennis Jones

…she does seem to be handling that extra weight with style and grace…

Dennis Jones

…the thing about adding curling stones to other events at the Olympics is that ABC might be able to come up with a new “agony of defeat” guy for their opening to Wide World Of Sports….

Doug Jones

Hey… don’t think I mentioned this yet… but those are GREAT new pics at the top of your page! I need to do that too. Maybe someday….

Jeff

Got the new Bible.. thanks again.. awesome art as usual.. How about figure skating with a curling stone tied to their leg. That would put a stop to all the triple jumps, and give big girls like Tanya Harding a fighting chance.

Dennis Jones

HA!… good to hear the great state of Texas checking in at Brother Jones…

Jeff

Well, U.S. Mens hockey lost the final time to a country with a population density of your neighborhood Wall-Mart.. Sad day.