April 21, 2006
At Brother Jones News Center, when news breaks… we fix it.
Todays topic: Nutrition
New research, (supported by the Dairy Industry), shows that chocolate milk is just as effective as sports drinks, (like Gatorade), at helping athletes recover from strenuous exercise. As a finely conditioned athlete myself, I have personally switched to drinking only chocolate milk after workouts and have found this to, in fact, be true.
In further health news, it is being reported that Americans are not getting enough protein in their breakfasts any more. In an effort to remedy this in my own life, I have started adding gravy to my Cheerios in the morning.
On a totally unrelated note, I have been experiencing mysterious weight gain over the past few months. I am keeping a close eye on this crisis and will file a report on any breaking news as this situation develops.