More Curling In The Olympics!

February 20, 2006

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Team Jones competes in 2006 Winter Olympics.

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Speed Skating and Downhill Curling.

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New excitement for the 2006 Winter Games.

I watched some of the 2006 Winter Olympics this weekend and decided my favorite event is curling. It appeals to me because I think my brothers and I could compete in it. We could go out, slide the stone down the ice, sweep in front of it, and then sit on the bench and eat donuts until it was our turn again. I like that.

Apparently TV ratings are down this year, but I have a solution for NBC; add curling to some of the other Olympic events.

I would love to see speed skaters lugging a small boulder around the track. Who wins in hockey if you have to slam a 44 pound rock into the net? Any luge-bobsled-skeleton run would be much more exciting with the weight of a curling stone added to the sled. Downhill curling is a no-brainer; who wouldnt want to see that?

The best part of the Winter Olympics is watching people going downhill fast and hanging on for their lives. The only thing better would be watching people that had to compete AGAINST their will. “Here you go sir, hang onto this curling stone and we’ll see you at the bottom of the hill.”

I would not change the Alpine Sniper competition, but I would add a gun to the trick ski jump competition. After the guy hits the jump and is upside down in the air he has to whip out a rifle and shoot targets. That would be sweet. This could be a little rough on the people watching in the crowd, but it would definitely send TV ratings through the roof.

The Comments

Don Jones

This gets me pumped to watch some more events. I’ve been out in my driveway doing some sweeping so I think I am in form to make a run for a medal. I was hoping for a platinum ring of some sort. Have you noticed the medals this time look like donuts?

Doug Jones

Herez a new event for you. You toss one of those stones into the air as high as you can and the vice president takes a shot at it… if you survive… you WIN! …we could call it Extreme Skeet Curling

Doug Jones

I like how we are never so consumed with winning, that we can’t turn and smile for the camera….

Dennis Jones

…the competitive spirit is not really a Jones attribute… we are just happy to be in the game…

megan

I like how “pom-pomesque” the stones look in the hands of the figure skating cheerleader…

Dennis Jones

…she does seem to be handling that extra weight with style and grace…

Dennis Jones

…the thing about adding curling stones to other events at the Olympics is that ABC might be able to come up with a new “agony of defeat” guy for their opening to Wide World Of Sports….

Doug Jones

Hey… don’t think I mentioned this yet… but those are GREAT new pics at the top of your page! I need to do that too. Maybe someday….

Jeff

Got the new Bible.. thanks again.. awesome art as usual.. How about figure skating with a curling stone tied to their leg. That would put a stop to all the triple jumps, and give big girls like Tanya Harding a fighting chance.

Dennis Jones

HA!… good to hear the great state of Texas checking in at Brother Jones…

Jeff

Well, U.S. Mens hockey lost the final time to a country with a population density of your neighborhood Wall-Mart.. Sad day.

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Olympic Hockey Sunday

March 1, 2010

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…ok, so the youth minister at my church says this Sunday the youth Sunday School lesson is on Ephesians 6 so Dennis why don’t you wear all your goaltender stuff and we’ll let the kids shoot at you and we’ll compare the goaltender gear to the armor of God and have a really good object lesson with it so I say ok and for the grand finale he will throw a hockey puck at me but it will bounce off harmlessly because I’m wearing my “armor” so we get the “wear the armor of God” point into the lesson and he takes the puck while standing about 7 feet away and slings it at me with a baseball windup and I’m thinking he’s going to throw at my chest or legs where I obviously have the most padding but he throws at my head instead and in all my years of playing hockey I have never taken a harder blow to the head than that as evidenced by the fact that it took a chunk out of the cage and crushed the padded goaltender helmet into my nose and cut it so that as I was talking to the kids about how crazy a person would have to be to do something like that without the “helmet of salvation” on blood was trickling down my nose and I’m not really sure if they got the point we were trying to make but I’m pretty sure they will never forget Olympic Hockey Sunday…

The Comments

The “Ripleys” Guy

No doubt, your reward will be in heaven for that sacrifice! Is there any way to get a re-enactment for YouTube?

Doug Jones

That settles it… I’m sticking with curling…

Jeff

Bad move Doug, those rocks weigh in at like 30 something pounds. I’m speechless Dennis, I had to explain to Peggy why I wet my pants!!!

Doug Jones

I know for a fact that no youth minister is able to pick up a 30 pound stone… so I’m safe…

Don Jones

Object lessons are always better when blood is involved….

Dennis Jones

…there goes Mr. Doug trying to stir up trouble for me on my page again… I get into plenty all by myself, I don’t need any help thank you very much…

Nik

Thats by far the coolest hockey helmet in the world,now you need a football helmet like that

Dennis Jones

…Don, your comment reminded me of the time I slammed my arm through a plate glass window and almost cut it in off and as they were sewing me back together at the doctors office Doug turned green and started sliding down the wall and someone had to catch him… blood is always an attention grabber…

Jeff

Famous last words, “I don’t need a Helmet, We’re just doing some light warm up.” 8 stitches later, my hats dont fit to good anymore.

Dennis Jones

…Jeff, I would like for you to start a blog and just tell your old goaltender stories on it… you had some doozies I recall…

Jeff

You have the winner…I have NEVER had an open wound in church. I am sorry, I just chuckle like an idiot every time I think about it.

Jeff

“I’m just Reffin a kids game, what do I need a cup for?”

Don Jones

I found myself looking at these pictures and softly humming “Power in the Blood.”