Hockey Talk 06/12

June 12, 2006

HOCKEYTALKLOGO

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

HockeyTalk

…waiting for the “GodLike” boost of energy…

Here is an actual question I sent to my son’s blog site…

Dear Nick Is Good For Oklahoma…
I have a hockey game tomorrow night, but I seem to be even older and slower than I was last year… is there anything I can do to remedy this intolerable situation??

Here is Nick’s actual response to my actual question…

Dear “Dennis”…
Thank you for your question. I suggest a heavy diet of Krispy Kremes and Mountain Dew right before the game. (If you are short of cash, Mountain Lightning will work) This will ensure a God like boost of energy, and allow a nice crash after the game when you are hoping to sleep… Hope this helps.

Willing to try anything to improve my game, I pulled into Steak n’ Shake and grabbed an Orange Freeze right before my game on Friday night. It wasn’t exactly donuts and Mtn. Dew, but since it’s an ice cream drink I figured it would have an equivalent amount of sugar in it.

Nick’s advice worked really well. I had energy to burn… until my third shift when I pulled a hamstring. This effectively meant I only had one leg to skate on for the rest of the game. If I were a horse they would have had to shoot me… but I played the rest of the game anyway. Quite honestly, my game doesn’t look much different whether I’m running at full strength or only skating on one leg.

So what have I learned from this experience? When you play in a hockey league where you are older than absolutely everyone else by 25 years or more, nothing is going to improve your game.

I also learned that I sure do enjoy having an Orange Freeze right before a hockey game. Next week I think I will have an Orange Freeze before AND after the game.

The Comments

Doug Jones

I vote for having an Orange Freeze and skipping the game… but that is just me… hey.. did you get that 24 tape? I paid extra bucks to try to get it to you before the weekend… but it was US Postal Service….

Dennis Jones

Yes, I got the tape… thanks a bunch for doing that… are you going to Mtn. Grove any time this summer? If so I will meet you there and pay you back… I’ll take you to Steak n’ Shake for an Orange Freeze or something…

Don Jones

I’ve heard the Key Lime Pie donuts from K.K. works wonders for injured hammies.

Dennis Jones

…I have another game this Friday night… I’ll let you know if that’s true or not, Don…

Don Jones

Use a whole tube of Ben-Gay too. The aroma will clear the way for a little one-on-one goalie action.

Nick Jones Everybody

The before and after method is def. the best way to avoid energy and provide for maximum hockey ability… Orange Freezes have been my drink of choice post-hockey game for years…

Doug Jones

… never had an Orange Freeze… but now you’ve flung a cravin’ on me…

Dennis Jones

…so yer jonesin’ for an Orange Freeze eh, Doug?

Don Jones

Have the boys at Steak ‘N SHake throw in a few ibuprofrens with that post game Orange Freeze and you will be relaxed and pain free by the time you get home.

Doug Jones

Don plays golf… Dennis plays hockey… and me?… I go to the YMCA on my lunch break and drink free coffee while THINKing about exercise. I call it THINKercize. Today while I was deep into my THINKercize session, I watched a little World Cup action on the large screen TV. Soccer actually looks a lot like hockey to me. That is… hockey played with no pads… or sticks… on a gigantic green pool table. Other than that… it’s just the same.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Doug, I concur with your comments …my biggest problem with soccer is that you don’t get to wear any cool equipment to play it… in hockey you get to gear up, wear a helmet n’ all kinds of massive padding… great jerseys… even if you stink at playing hockey, you at least get to look good while doing it…

Don Jones

Den, didn’t you come across a place that makes custom hockey jerseys?

Doug Jones

At BrotherJones it isn’t about how you play… it’s about how you LOOK! and Dennis… you… look… MAH-velous out there…

Dennis Jones

…that’s absolutely right, Doug… on BOTH counts… and, Don, all kinds of places make custom hockey jerseys… are you thinking it’s time to order up a dozen or so Brother Jones Winged Logo jerseys? …what numbers do you guys want?

Don Jones

I am liking that new sub-header there Dennis. Continuing from yesterday… who won that hockey game last night? I’m too lazy to search it out … or possibly it’s just the idea of having to leave the safe confines of the Brother Jones site.

Dennis Jones

…I fell asleep in the third period, but I think the Carolina Panthers won and are up in the series 3 to 1…

Don Jones

Let me guess …. you had an Orange Freeze and passed out on the couch?

Dennis Jones

…close …yard work and I passed out on the couch …and I gotta mow this afternoon sometime before it starts raining again…

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Face Off

July 9, 2007

HockeyStick1HockeyStick2

I skated out to take the face off in last friday nights hockey game and as I was waiting for the referee to drop the puck I noticed something scribbled on the blade of my hockey stick. With closer observation, it became pretty obvious that my youngest son, Pete, had punked me again.

The Comments

Roballoo

I like the Cathy (nonexistant) Nose.

Dennis Jones

…I think this might become my new personal logo…

Doug Jones

I’m thinking this drawing struck FEAR in the hearts of the other team. As they shrank back in fear and trembling, I hope you got to score a goal or two…

Dennis Jones

…I think you may be right because I got one goal and two assists in the game… maybe I need to outline that little picture with a black Sharpie so the other team can see it better…

Don Jones

Peter has a future as a caricaturist artist. Forget that accounting stuff…

Doug Jones

…but SOMEbody needs to count them beans…

Dennis Jones

The Official Hockey Game Report !!!

(1) …this game started at 10:30, (which is kinda late), so no one bothered to show up for our team… we had our goalie, one starting line, and one sub… a Quizno’s I believe…

(2) …one of our players took a 5 minute major penalty within the first 3 minutes of the game, kinda went crazy, the refs tacked two more penalties on top of that one and threw him out of the game… this left us with no subs and 9 penalty minutes to kill…

(3) …a hockey shift usually lasts for a minute or two, but our team had to play the entire game with no rest…

(4) …I got really tired…

(5) …during the second period, I was thinking a lot about the delicious Orange Freeze I would be having at Steak And Shake after the game…

(6) …we managed to score 5 goals during the game, but couldn’t quite overcome all the goals the other team scored on us during the monster penalty kill…

(7) …I got a boo boo on my knee…

(8) …my hockey pants are so old the snap rusted and broke off during the game and it scratched my tummy…

(9) …the referees seem to know me by name… I don’t know if this is a good thing or a bad thing…

(10) …any game I can walk away from in one piece is a good game… this was a pretty good game…

Don Jones

Sounds like this hockey game was one for the ages. Is that how that cliche is used? Or is it, one for the books? Especially liked the “thinking about the delicious Orange Freeze after the game…” Priceless.

Doug Jones

are you crazy?! At 10:30 you should be at Steak n Shake drinking the delicious Orange Freeze and laughing at the guys who went to play hockey… at least that’s what I would do…

Don Jones

And by all means… order a side of fries with that Freeze.

Ma.

MMmmm where do you find the time?