Mutant Gourds

October 25, 2005

MutantGourds

Every year we end up with mutant gourds. The top picture shows two strawberry gourds from last season. The first one is a normal five inch gourd and the second is a fifteen inch abnormality.

The other picture shows this seasons mutant. It is a basket gourd. They are supposed to be big, but this one is a monster. I put a baseball on top to give it some scale. I am guessing it probably weighs a couple of hundred pounds. I am guessing that because it is still green, mainly all water, and is so heavy that I cannot lift it off the ground.

Some people put bird baths in their yards to decorate with… but since this thing is too heavy to move, I guess it is going to have to be our new lawn ornament.

The Comments

Don Jones

woah… don’t hit that with your mower. I think this has the makings of a great Christmas present… I am preparing the slips of paper for the Christmas name exchange… Do you guys want any particular name? I’m presently taking special requests.

Dennis Jones

I would like to get Dennis’s name this year… and I want to get him something REALLY nice, Clark…

Don Jones

You got it… I suggest hitting the LIGER shoppe. They run specials every Friday: LIGER FRIDAY.

Doug Jones

If you cut the top off that big gourd and put a handle on it… it would make a coffee mug almost big enough for you in the mornings.

Dennis Jones

…and wouldn’t the coffee be just spectacular with that little hint of gourd taste in it… mmmm….

Doug Jones

Hazelnut flavor with gourd roughage… for that get up and go feeling in the morning! Hey, looks like the COLTS and the PREDATORS are both undefeated this year. Maybe they should play each other. I can see Peyton completing a slapshot into the end zone and getting an icing the football penalty.

Don Jones

They don’t hold a candle to your undefeated SCREAMIN’ SOCMONKEYS Doug. Wonder when Dennis is going to come calling on that Phlegm-Weasel side wager?

Doug Jones

The screamers took a hit this weekend… alas

Dennis Jones

Hey, Don… your crummy players cant even beat my loser, bottom feeding team of weasels… why would I want any of them? You can keep ‘em… I mean… I already have a team full of great players like Ricky Williams who has a combined 2 week rushing total of minus 3 yards… why would I want any of your losers like Priest Holmes and Shawn Alexander… I’m starting Ruben Droughns this weekend at running back and teaching those Boston Banshhees a lesson…

Betsy

The Brother Jones are working on drawing names for Christmas? The Sister Jones will be so excited!

Dennis Jones

…were working on WHAT?… I must not have received the inner office memo this morning…

Dennis Jones

Here are my suggestions for Christmas 2005 in Mtn Grove…

After everyone arrives we start immediately with the annual “Airing Of Grievances”… during this time we share with family and friends all the ways they have disappointed us over the past year…

We follow the “Airing Of Grievances” with the popular “Feats Of Strength” where the head of each household tests his/her strength with another family member.

Then we can open our gifts which have been carefully placed under the holiday aluminum pole…

(I am aware this may need some tweaking, but we have to start somewhere)…

Don Jones

Dennis, I like your thinking here. Get the negativity out of the way so we can proceed to the true meaning of the holidays… eating. Will you be bringing anything good to eat this year? I’m sure the sugar cookies will be in abundance along with a wide assortment of fudge and pie. I’m digging out my James Taylor Christmas today…

Betsy

Yes! A Festivus for the rest of us!!!

Don Jones

B.Y.O.A Bring Your Own Anesthetist

Betsy

I’ll see if I can round one up somewhere. We’ll definitely need one for all the back pain people will have after the feats of strength!

Dennis Jones

Betsy… a donation has been made in your name to the Human Fund.

Don Jones

Betsy I paid $89.95 and had a star named and registered for you. The Ellett. It’s in the fourth galaxy just a little left of the North Star. On a clear night you still can’t see it. Enjoy.

Dennis Jones

…hey, thats not a bad gift idea, Don… maybe I’ll get a couple of those for my boys this Christmas…

Betsy

Woohoo! Money for People and a star I can’t see. I’m just raking it in today!

Don Jones

I can already see these in the western sky The Nickstar and Pete’s Precious Guiding Light.

Doug Jones

I’m bringing a great big bag of Cheetos with me and I will be trading it for some hits of Nitrous Oxide.

Don Jones

Great idear there Doug. Cheetos will get you a big hit of something… plus some orange fingers. Maybe we can all get knocked-out and do a Brother Jones podcast. I doubt if our audience could tell any difference.

Doug Jones

podcast…. PODCAST! That’s what Dennis should do with that mega-gourd. Have a gourdcast. See how far you can lob it on live podcasting internet radio! Grab that laptop and hit the road to Huntington, Don. …. and listen to the Monkeys on the way…

Don Jones

Don’t tempt me. If I didn’t have my monthly haircut scheduled… I’d be gone. Plus, I have to pick Lola up from the Vet today.

Betsy

I’m thinking that donations to the Human Fund and the naming of stars would be great prizes for the annual Dube Bridge game.

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Chiefs Numero Uno!

October 22, 2007

GoChiefsI would have never thought it a month ago, but our very own, home state, Kansas City Chiefs are NUMBER ONE in the Western Division of the National Tackle Football League! I’m not sure how long this will last, so I say celebrate now!

The Comments

Jason Bourne

Congrats KC. My team, Cowboys, are #1 in the NFC. Yeehaww. Im looking forward to the Colts vs Patriots game. GO COLTS…

Don Jones

Even though it was a low scoring affair yesterday, the Chiefs vs. Raiders was pretty entertaining. I enjoy the camera pans into the “black hole.”

Dennis Jones

…I didn’t get to see the game… how did Priest Holmes look?

Don Jones

He was in there for about 3 or 4 plays. Just not enough action for me to get a clear picture of his status.

Dennis Jones

…did you see the highlight of Randy Moss catching the pass with his shoulder? …very impressive…

Doug Jones

Titans couldn’t get into the end zone… but Rob Bironas fired in 8 field goals. Whoever had him on their fantasy football team really hit the jackpot last week.

Dennis Jones

…since the Colts played on Monday night this week, they showed the Titans game here on Sunday… Bironas has a pretty interesting story…

Jason Bourne

I really don’t like the new rule against spiking the ball… Its going too far. What next?

Roballoo

Oh, I guess it’s time for Football season isn’t it. Go Niners!

Don Jones

Since you didn’t ask, I will go ahead and give the AWFFL status… PHLEGM WIN! But, we did take a major hit with the Numero Uno RB Ronnie Brown tearing his ACL. Loser. He still has one good leg to run on.

Roballoo

How many responses do we have to get before we get a new blog entry? At least 10 by my count.

Jason Bourne

Here is 11. I can’t believe it will be November. Where does the time go?