Lawn Wars

July 26, 2005

Lawn-Wars

As if it were not bad enough that the grass took over our vegetable garden while we were away… now the grass is openly mocking me by growing on top of my riding lawnmower.

The Comments

Don Jones

Dennis that is a truely bad omen of some sort. Not sure exactly what it means. It seems for the Brothers Jones the grass is always greener on the top side of the blade housing.

Dennis Jones

It certainly is a humiliating turn of events for me…

Doug Jones

now you need a tiny little mower to mow the grass on top of your big mower…

Don Jones

Ironically, I just had the SEARS man come out and work on my CRAPSMAN mower this morning. He immediately told me I need to keep the grass off the top of the housing ‘cause that’s what caused my blade engagement cable to bust. I’m not even going say how much this little appointment cost me… let’s just say I could’ve bought enough chickens and corn for the family for an ENTIRE YEAR. So Dennis… go the extra mile and clean that deck off… otherwise, you’ll eventually be takin’ it in the monkey shorts.

Doug Jones

One other reason to be neat and tidy… someone around here burnt down their garage. The dead grass on the mower caught fire sitting in the garage after mowing. The lesson here is… always have a bag of marshmallows handy

Don Jones

Neaty & Tidy Douger I bet you check your oil too. You should know by now that Dennis and I live on the non-maintenance side of life.

Dennis Jones

I like to mow tree stumps with my riding mower… if the mower cant take it… too bad for it…

Don Jones

I prefer mulching rock. Still hurting from replacing that window in the studio. $$$$

Dennis Jones

…if it’s on the ground, I’m mulching it…

Dennis Jones

BROTHER JONES ALERT!

BROTHER JONES ALERT!

Karen sent me to the grocery store at noon to get a roast for her to cook tonight and I noticed they have clementines now… this is possibly the best little fruit ever devised… if you havent had any this year, sprint to the store and get a little crate of them!

Doug Jones

one other item to keep your eye out for… PLUOTs. It is a cross between a plum and an apricot. They are my favorite. They have a splotchy looking smooth skin. In Publix they call them Dinosaur Eggs. I just ate one… mmmmmm….

Dennis Jones

oh yeh… well… I’m going downstairs right now and having another clementine…

Don Jones

Oh my darlin’ OH MY DARLIN’

Dennis Jones

…my box is actually called darlin’ clementines…

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In The Dark

April 5, 2006

InTheDark

…what’s goin’ on?

I flew down to Oklahoma City this weekend to watch my youngest son, Pete, play in “March BANDness”. His band didn’t win, but it was quite an accomplishment for them to even make it into the final four and I really enjoyed getting a chance to see them perform.

I arrived at the airport before sunrise on Monday morning to fly home. This time I had a brand new, unexpired driver’s license, I knew how to work the automated check-in machine, I got through security without being singled out and frisked, and I got into my seat on the airplane with no problems. Everything was running like clockwork…

…until all the lights went out in the airplane and the engines quit running.

Since it was pre-sunrise we were all left sitting in the dark. Then everything came back on… and then it all went back off. But then it all came back on and we proceeded to taxi out to the runway for take off.

Then everything went off in the plane again… but it all came back on… but then off… but then on again… but then off again… then back on one last time. It was like sitting in a dark room with someone flipping the light switch on and off.

Finally the captain spoke over the intercom and explained that we were having a problem with an onboard computer and, as you would do with a home computer, you must shut everything down and then turn it all back on hoping the computer will fire back up correctly. Thats why the plane was continually shutting down and coming back on… they were trying to reboot the computer.

This (of course) did not work, because this was the plane I was planning to ride home in. We taxied back to the terminal and the tech guys came out and installed a new computer on our plane…

…while we sat in the plane…

…for two and a half hours.

I arrived in Chicago with barely enough time to catch my connecting flight, but I sprinted to my gate and got there just in the nick of time…

…to see them posting that my flight had been cancelled. But that was ok because there really isnt anything more fun than sitting around in an airport terminal all afternoon waiting for another flight home.

I really need to come up with another mode of transportation to these things.

The Comments

Doug Jones

So Karen flies around the globe all the time, but you take two trips and this is what happens? No wonder you stay home and raise gourds. ‘Bout plantin’ time ain’t it?

Don Jones

Den, for a second there I saw you sprinting through the airport terminal just like O.J.

Dennis Jones

…I was… of course, I tripped and fell when I tried to jump over the suitcase…

Don Jones

I’ve heard there are lots of bugs and viruses floating around inside an airplane’s air ducts. I sure hope you remembered to hold your breath while you were on computer stand-by.

Don Jones

Did Pete’s band get any parting gifts along with the prestige of making the FINAL FOUR? Free admission to Frontier Land? Guitar strings?

Dennis Jones

…they received a fabulous day of free rides at Frontier City for their efforts… bad news Don… the car ride we used to enjoy so much is gone… replaced with one of those newer model-t type car rides…

Don Jones

I do remember that they had a saloon of some sort… I recall walking past it and thinking creepy things were probably happening inside

Doug Jones

creepy things were happening OUTSIDE as you walked by…

Don Jones

It just hit me that if you are in need of another mode of transportation… fire up your SEARS Craftsman mower and HIT THE ROAD!

Dennis Jones

…I think with a tune up I might be able to get that baby up to 6… maybe 7 miles an hour… not a bad idea, Don…

Don Jones

You haven’t modified that mower with any on-board leftover PC computers have you?

Don Jones

NOTE: Movie contains violence: Alvin twice shoots his broken-down riding lawn mower, causing it to explode in flames. Now THIS is entertainment!

Dennis Jones

…I believe we previously proclaimed this to be the official movie of the Brother Jones Web Site… check it out sometime… if you are having trouble sleeping…

Don Jones

Did you watch it? I have yet to see it.

Dennis Jones

…yes… it’s actually pretty good… if you don’t have anything else to watch….

JEFF

i JUST CAN’T BELIEVE YOU DID NOT GET SEARCHED.. YOU MUST NOT BE WEARING THE WELDING GOGGLES ANY MORE..YOU LOOKED PRETTY SHADY IN THOSE THINGS..

Dennis Jones

…no Jeff… I only wear my welding Goggles when I’m cruising town in my car… with the windows rolled down… and my arm hanging out the window… with my sleeves rolled up onto my shoulders to show off the Brother Jones tattoo on my shoulder…

A Brother Jones Tool Tip

December 7, 2006

mower1

…my mower as it currently sits in my garage…

mower2

…a lean, mean, grass eatin’ machine…

It is currently snowing very hard here in Indiana and as I was coming back through my garage with wood for the fireplace, I noticed my trusty riding lawnmower patiently waiting for summer. This inspired me to share a little Brother Jones Tool Tip with you that I believe we should all try to live by…

Take care of your tools and they will take care of you…

…yes, words to live by… I know I do.

…hope I don’t have problems with the mower again this spring.

The Comments

Doug Jones

that front tire looks spotless… better sling some mud on it, quick…

Dennis Jones

…I dont think I can today… we are having a bit of a blizzard right now (there is currently a 30 car pileup out on the highway) and my muddy yard is frozen… so I’m going to hop in my car and head up to the FedX box…Whoo HOO…

Keegan Jones

Haha, wow! How fast can that thing go?

Don Jones

Brother Don here reporting in from the SouthLake Town Square Apple Store. This image of your mower Dennis is front and center on this 30-inch monitor and is causing quite a stir. People are appearing sick and quickly leaving the premises. I see a lawn mower wash gift card in your future.

Dennis Jones

…I’m pretty sure the toxic mix of mud, water, and grass you see here has already tuned my blade housing into one big concrete slab… now that I think about it, I believe this is the same combination of elements they used to make bricks with in ancient Egypt…

BernardFromTheYard

Hey C’mon Dennis, Tis the season and all…how about changing that mower pic to your Christmas decorated lawn before cousin Eddie shows up? Or, at least add a snow shovel on the front.

Mower Problems

April 26, 2007

MowerProblm

…what else can go wrong…

Mowing season began for me last Saturday. I got the big riding mower out, gassed it up, and took off. I had my headphones on and was really enjoying riding around in the yard… until the blades quit working on the mower. I jumped off the tractor, looked at the deck and quickly diagnosed exactly what the problem was… something was broken.

I had one of two options. I could call someone to come to my house and fix the mower. This option would cost $88.00 up front just for them to drive to my house and look at the mower plus whatever the cost of fixing the mower would be. The other option was to fix it myself. The second option wasn’t really an option, so I decided to bite the bullet and have someone come to my house and fix my stupid mower.

The guy came to my house, looked at my mower, and said, “I cant fix that.” I had broken a brace that was attached to the deck. He gave me one of two options. Option One, replace the entire deck for $1220.51 or, Option Two, replace just the deck shell and scavenge parts from the broken deck for $709.41. Then he said, “this is what I would do if I were you. Take the deck off, take it to a welding shop, have them beat that brace back into position, weld it and add more metal to it for better support. That will be a lot cheaper than this will be.”

I took the deck to a local welder. Two hours later I picked it up, brought it home, put it back on and mowed the rest of my yard. It worked perfectly. The cost of getting my mower fixed at the welding shop? Twenty dollars.

The Comments

Doug Jones

you win. My mower quit while mowing the front yard. Tried every trick I knew but it would not start again. Had to borrow a truck and take it to the shop. A new carburetor at $272 fixed it. ouch.

Don Jones

Reminds me of one of my earlier riders… A cheap Wal-Mart Murray mower to be exact. The blade housing was made of high quality aluminum foil. After bending the housing into the blades for the millionth time, I too took that bad boy in and had some STEEL welded to the front end. It not only mowed but it GRADED the yard as well. Goodbye mole holes! Hello fresh turned dirt.

Dennis Jones

…the best lawn mowing gear I ever got was a set of Bose noise reduction headphones…

JEFF

Best lawnmowing gear I ever got was a motivated wife..

Don Jones

Jeff… you’re a lucky man.

JEFF

No, just afraid,, she owns a chainsaw as well.

Doug Jones

so… with them headphones, can you listen to music while you mow and they block out the mower noise?

Dennis Jones

…yep… music, radio, no mower noise… put on your sunglasses and a hat and the riding mower turns into a little island paradise on a sea of green… I personally like to steer with one hand and sip a tropical drink with one of those little umbrellas in it with the other…

Space Monkey

June 2, 2008

SpaceMonkey2

On Saturday I grabbed a hand grinder that’s supposed to be used on car bodies and sharpened the three blades of my riding lawnmower. It’s not exactly the correct tool to use for this, but being an experienced professional, I made it work.

Unfortunately, my wife walked into the garage as I was arcing a river of sparks onto the hood of her car. She apparently had some sort of problem with this and also pointed out to me that the stream of flame I was creating was also arcing over our oily push mower, a couple of gas cans and the dried grass I had just cleaned off of the riding mower. Women! 😦

I finished sharpening the blades, but then I wasn’t sure if they were supposed to be aligned on the mower in some special way, so I found the operating manual, turned to the correct page and in big bold letters it said, WARNING, we recommend you DO NOT try to sharpen blades yourself. Apparently, some rocket scientist somewhere had decided blades must be perfectly balanced in order to cut grass. Rocket Scientists! 😦

Just to be on the safe side, I created a very sophisticated tool in order to balance my blades consisting of a pencil and a piece of rope I found on the floor of my garage. My blades were perfectly balanced according to this, so I put the mower back together and am happy to report that it is working just fine except for the violent shaking that occurs when the blades are engaged…

The Comments

Bernard

My goodness…I thought I had smelled too much terps in my life. This is funny stuff…as for the wife. God did say that it was not good for man to be alone, though I’m not sure that fire prevention was precisley what He meant when He said that. Scientists…they did prefer the Monkey over us originally. But the Monkey couldn’t raise the money. So, now you got a Mower that goes with your shaking bed…I’d consider moving out of that place If I were you. Funny Stuff, thanks, Bernard

Dennis Jones

…the good thing about a riding lawnmower that shakes violently is that you don’t really even notice the earthquakes that much…

Dennis Jones

…ps …sorry about those Penguins… I rooted for them until the beginning of the third period and then fell asleep and apparently without my staunch support behind them they lost game 4… don’t blame them… blame me…

Don Jones

I say, close your eyes when you’re mowing and you’ll think you’re flying a helicopter.

Dennis Jones

…I usually do that when I’m driving the car…

Doug Jones

So… you can cut your grass and have a relaxing massage at the same time… cool!

Bernard

Ha…this is funnier than laugh-in! Doug, Don: a graphic mind is a funny thing to have…can’t stop laughin’ here on your comments. Since it’s obvious Dennis is the fall guy, are you two the straight men in this act? Dennis, can you try some radical coffee bean concoction tonight in order to stay awake seeing as it could be the last game for the birds?

Jason Bourne

Kool. This is one of the best… Never send a man to an apes job.

brett

cool space monkey looks like the one in your drawing book.And the one in the new movie space chimps.(: lol!

Dennis Jones

…it IS the one in my drawing book! …good memory, Brett!

Bernard

What drawing book? Checked Amazon…nada. Seriously, have you ever considered having the art from your sketchbooks printed and sold as sketchbooks? Like the artists over at: brandstudiopress.com I don’t know what their costs or quantity mins. are but I can vouch for their quality. Bought a couple of them and the printing/paper/covers are first class. It seems to be all the rage these days with artists. Finished sketches or not. I bet your stuff would sell off the shelf! Of course I would want an autographed one of yours. —BM

Roballoo!

Blurb let’s you self publish yer own books. Can’t vouch for them myself – but at least from the web site – but appears to be a quality product.

Dennis Jones

…Brett is my nephew and a few weeks ago he was looking thru the sketchbook I was carrying and remembered this page, apparently…

…I have bought a couple of those Brand Studio books myself and they are done really well…

…I actually have a Blurb book put together but I just haven’t pulled the trigger on it yet…

Bernard

Dennis, Thanks for staying up so late last night to keep the Pens in it for another game!

Dan Lietha

PULL THE TRIGGER on the book! 🙂

Dennis Jones

…Bernard, when the Redwings pulled even in the third and then peppered in like 600 shots on net for the rest of the period and got the lead I kinda figured it was all over for the Penguins but the crying… then the Pens dramatically tied the game seconds before the game was to be over… high drama! …to me this is starting to feel a lot like the invincible Patriots facing the underdog Giants in the last Superbowl… good series!

Jason Bourne

I’m in anticipation indeed!

Dennis Jones

…Dan, right now I have a book full of pictures and absolutely no words in it, which is probably a good thing, I don’t know… anyway, maybe I’ll polish it up and publish it later on this summer… call it “Mime” or “Mums The Word” or something…

Doug Jones

call it… “I’m Speechless”…

Roballoo!

Oooh – looking forward to the book. Will it have before and after pictures or is it all finished art at this point?

Dennis Jones

…at this point it is all just sitting on my computer and can still be anything I want it to be… what types of things do you think would be good to put in it?

Dan Lietha

I think it’d be great to see development sketches to final product. Even sketches that didn’t work and reasons why. Collections of finished pieces are nice, but I like to see the behind the scenes stuff. My 2 cents … but willing to pay much more for the book!

Bernard

Wow, this is an interesting question because…before this past year your transitional or “how It’s done” section would have kicked into a Gouache primer and the steps that process entails. Now, seeing as you have undoubtedly growned some new digital Wacom/Cintiq/Photoshop legs…do you go there instead or in addition too? I agree with Dan L. and all but don’t let the “how-To” be the biggie. Your finished pieces are still what rocks the world! “We Wanna A Book”,”We Wanna A Book”,”We Wanna A Book”!

Jason Bourne

If you have any dinosaurs, you could do a big one page image of a T-rex’s mouth wide open showing all the teeth…

Dan Lietha

If it turned out to be all finished art, I’d pay up just as fast to buy it. Dinosaurs have my vote too. 🙂

Don Jones

I’d like to see some early grade school work included… and a few church bulletin covers.

Dennis Jones

…ok, lets see now… this book needs to be an omnibus album which starts with my grade school art, then the gouache middle ages, and ends in the digital world, but also includes pencil sketches, tutorials, step by step seminars, church bulletins and one dinosaur with a lot of teeth… a piece of cake!

Doug Jones

and a special monkey section

Jason Bourne

Alright, sounds fantastic to me!

Bernard

I think you got it! except: NO SOCKS or GOURDS!

Dennis Jones

HEY!

gary Locke

doooood! i thought weasel boy was some one over at focus on the family! doood!!! you are getting good! do you work on a cintiq yet?

Dennis Jones

…hey Gary …I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to figure out who weaselboy was… I’ve been enjoying your blog… I got a Cintiq a few months back and it is quite the fancy work tool…