The SocMo Curiosity

March 15, 2005

SOCMO

I leave town for a week, come back, and find Socmo has made another appearance on Doug’s web page. I feel I need to try and clarify this fascination Doug has with sock monkeys.

This is something he has been dealing with for many years now. Here is a family photograph from a Christmas way back when and… yes that is Doug with his very first sock monkey. It has been a downward spiral since that point. Doug and SocMo are inseparable. It is similar to Linus and his blanket. Sad… so very sad.

Older children always have issues, as do the younger children. The burden always falls to we, the well adjusted middle children to keep things on the straight and narrow… right Margie?

The Comments

Don Jones

As I analyze this picture, it appears Margie is not hugging a Sock Monkey but some sort of little puppy? Doug still has that shirt hanging in his closet.

Dennis Jones

Yes, upon further analysis we can see the two older children receiving the coveted sock monkeys while Margie and I are getting who knows what… in fact… where am I in this picture?… I guess I must have been taking it…

mandy

you guys talk so much about socmo that he should have his own page on the brother jones site- he is so popular

mandy

the page would be called the adventures of socmo

Doug Jones

SocMo RULES!

Dennis Jones

Thats not a bad idea… SocMo writes much better journal page articles than I do…

mandy

everybody loves socmo

Don Jones

COMING SOON! Own your own SocMo for just $49.95. The Brother Jones web personality with the highest I.Q.

Dennis Jones

…maybe we can get mom to open a SocMo Sock Monkey Sweat Shop…

Perry and Mrs. Joyce

Brother Dennis: I just got this WebSite from Mother Jones, and you better tell her I contacted you, or we may both be in for it. You guys are just too clever for this Arkansan (by birth and retirement). Hug your Momma for me, when you see her. Cousin Perry

mandy

you should start selling sockmonkeys in the brotherjones shop because i would probobly by one

Margie

I never received a sock monkey for Christmas or any other event in my life. Should I have a problem with that??

Margie

I never received a sock monkey for Christmas or any other event in my life. Should I have a problem with that??

Margie

I never received a sock monkey for Christmas or any other event in my life. Should I have a problem with that??

Dennis Jones

WOW… THREE POSTS from my fellow middle child sister Margie… all saying the same thing… she must really mean business… that or she has one really weird computer that does everything in triplicate…

Doug Jones

I’ve been meaning to talk to Margie about her stuttering problem….

Roy

I know the person who took that picture and who made the monkey. Guess who????

Dennis Jones

Now Uncle Roy, don’t go trying to claim credit for this picture… I am pretty sure I was the one that took it… I distinctly remember having the camera up to my eye with one hand and my baby bottle in the other…

Roy

Dennis: As I recall you were never on the bottle.

Dennis Jones

hmmm… I think you might be right… it must have been a cup of coffee in my other hand…

Dennis Jones

…as I think about this a bit more I remember it very clearly… I was standing there with nothing on but a diaper, had the camera up to my eye with one hand and was holding a cup of coffee in the other. I was also smoking a carrot stick as I snapped the picture… thats why Margie has that shocked look on her face… it was quite a site…

Dennis Jones

…and as you can see, Doug was laughing AT ME because his baby brother is such a moron and Mary is obviously deep in thought trying to figure out some way to sit me down at the kitchen table and give me a crash course on manners and when and how to use them… DO I USE MY MANNERS NOW, MARY?

Don Jones

I was in the backyard stepping on rabbits.

Dennis Jones

I’m still mad at you about that…

Carrie

Does Don like stepping on rabbits? What are you talking about??

mandy

is that the same sock monkey you have now doug or did you get a new one

Don Jones

Carrie, I would rather not go into it… let’s just leave well enough alone. Let’s just say rabbits are jumpy and that makes little kids jumpy.
I’m not a rabbit killer like my brothers and sisters kept chanting…. over and over….

Dennis Jones

WABBIT KILLER!

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SocMo Sighting

March 17, 2005

SocMoNme

Those darn paparazzi were out and at it again. You just cant go anywhere these days without one of them jumping out from behind a trash dumpster and snapping your picture. Here is a shot they got last night of SocMo and me on the way over to the Annual BrotherJones St. Pats Day Pre-game Tailgate Party. I gotta tell ya… that SocMo is one crazy monkey.

The Comments

Don Jones

It appears SocMo has taken control of the steering wheel. You might want to up your life insurance Dennis. That SocMo is one stoical monkey.

Dennis Jones

…very observant Don… I put a tight crop on this picture for SocMo’s sake, but that is exactly what is going on here… he is grabbing the steering wheel… that is why I have that shocked look on my face… he is a nut…

Don Jones

SocMo ain’t from around these parts. I think he can drive from the passenger seat ‘cause he used to deliver mail down in Arkansas somewhere.

Doug Jones

Didn’t I tell you guys… SocMo learned to drive by chasing squirrels on my riding mower. He modified the mower… 0-60 in 12 seconds… not too shabby for a lawnmower.

Dennis Jones

I’m sorry about filling him up with Mtn Dew on the way over to your house last night…

I actually threw a couple back myself…

Doug Jones

I heard that Mountain Dew is the new coffee

Dennis Jones

Well… I dont know about that… all I know is it will leave your mustache green…

~

~ BROTHER JONES BONUS COVERAGE ~

Big brother Doug got the St. Patricks day fun going on his page which is posted below.

~

March 17, 2005

Happy St. Pat’s!

stpatrick

SocMo really got into St. Patrick’s Day this year. After drinking 6 liters of Mountain Dew, he started turning green and glowing. Silly SocMo. Then he started running around the yard chasing squirrels. Good golly bum… that was fun to watch!

SocMo wanted me to tell you his favorite St. Patrick’s Day joke, so here goes…

Question: What is green and sits behind the house?

Answer: Patty O’Furniture (patio furniture)

Laugh it up… fuzzball…

The Comments

Don Jones

That is hilllarrrious… I laughed ‘til I stopped.

Dennis Jones

Doug I think we are going to have to do an “intervention” with SocMo… he’s getting a little outa control… again…

Don Jones

I failed to wear green today… and I can’t stop pinching myself.

Breaking News

March 18, 2005

Baseball-hearings

Some of baseball’s biggest players told Congress Thursday that steroids are a problem for the sport but denied there is widespread use of them. Mark McGwire, choked back tears at times, and repeatedly refused to say if he took the roids when he was salvaging the sport’s popularity with his home run race with Sammy Sosa. Except for admitted steroid user SocMo Jones, the five other players repeatedly ducked pointed questions on the subject.

The Comments

Doug Jones

SocMo Jones has never used stereos. He prefers to listen to the basic AM mono radio broadcasts. As you can see, SocMo was still under the influence of Mountain Dew during the hearings. This may have caused him to admit to doing things that he has really never done… like use stereos.

Dennis Jones

I really dont see why congress had to go and make such a big fuss about stereo usage in the first place… I’ll admit it, I use stereos…

Don Jones

I recognize that tie! SocMo has once again helped himself to my wardrobe. Moochin’ juiced-up monkey.

mandy

hey put socmo in google and you are the first name

Dennis Jones

well… BrotherJones.com is the place to go for all the latest breaking news on SocMo… maybe the only place to go…

Don Jones

From the size of SocMo there, I’d hate to meet up with him in a dark alley

Latest Breaking News

March 18, 2005

Umbrella-Gig

Michael Jackson is in monstrous financial debt and reportedly failed to pay many of his employees last week, according to many US networks. An emergency financial meeting was called by Jackson family members after staff workers were left off the weekly payroll, according to ABC News.

The Comments

Don Jones

SocMo knows multitasking. Right on right on.

Doug Jones

SocMo is a very snappy dresser as you can see. I think he was also in the movie Forrest Gump. He shook hands with LBJ.

Michael Jackson

Who’s the cute boy in the back….?

A Community Service

April 6, 2005

SockmoWithMates

The Huntington County Chapter of the Indiana Socks Without Mates Support Group will be meeting all this month at my house on the edge of the bed. We are happy to open our home up to this worthy cause. Please keep the light blue sock on your prayer list. It is particularly distressed about the loss of its mate.

The Comments

Don Jones

This gets me excited. Finally we are opening up the Brother Jones website for worthy causes. Hey Dennis, I bet you can take a portion of your bedroom off your taxes since you’re running a non-profit sock ministry in there… great thinking my brother. I just finished reading Les Miserables, and I can’t figure out which of the characters is Les.

Dennis Jones

I noticed the yellow sock was very confrontational during the last group session… we may need to have an intervention for it…

Megan Jones

Hey Dennis you should keep some of those socks to make a whole bunch of sock monkeys!

Don Jones

I can tell of few of these socks have attended church quite a few times… they appear to be somewhat holy.

Dennis Jones

I think that red and green one is a holiday sock who lost its mate around Christmas… how could a sock that looks like that get lost?

Dennis Jones

HEY… did Megan sneak Socmo onto my page!?

Doug Jones

Interesting… but SocMo has a sock collection that is IDENTICAL to yours! Hmmmm…

Megan Jones

I didn’t sneak Socmo on the page! I think Mandy did it!

Don Jones

Looks like the Support Group has turned into a full fledged SocMo convention.

Dennis Jones

Sock monkeys just seem to have a real empathy for this kind of support group for some odd reason…

Flat Outa Luck

April 13, 2005

FlatOutaLuckSocmo

It’s the official BrotherJones Photo Contest day! Each of the Jones brothers have taken an artistic type photo from around their residences and have displayed them today for this heated competition of imagery.

It is your duty and responsibility as a BrotherJones visitor and true American to cast a vote for one of the pictures. If you are reading this, you are eligible… and URGED to vote for one of these photos. We know you’re out there… So get on that mouse and vote! Just hit the comment button below and give us your best critique! (No fictitious names please.) and we will count that as a vote. VOTE NOW!

The Comments

Don Jones

It sickens me to know that a perfectly innocent Indiana verminous weasel gave its life for the sake of a photo contest. It could’ve been a nice sandwich for Dennis… maybe it was both?

Keegan Jones

Is it just me, or does that roadkill get larger after each refresh?

cricket

chirp chirp chirp

Don Jones

Crickets don’t chirp… birds do. Crickets give that loud pyscho reverbing sound… like your banjo playing, Den.

Banshee

I think you’re right Keeg… suddenly I am feeling nauseous. (Before I yak, I would like to point out that this comment isn’t a vote…)

Dennis Jones

I have a question about the official rules… who do I need to talk to? …Banshee? Doug? Mom? …because I want to vote for my picture… it is by far the best of the three… even if no one else in the entire world can see that but me… I know it is true…

Lester Flatt

I vote yes.

Flat Top Grill

mmm… barbecue weasel…

Flat Coated Retriever

Woof!

Pierre

Do you guys sell those frames?

Dennis Jones

Hey… that Pierre one counts as a vote for me… I didn’t make that one up…

Don Jones

Did someone purchase your photo Den? Or, did you put it back on the rack for additional tweekage?

Dennis Jones

HOO HOO! I fixed myself and am back in the race!

Bancheese

I vote for this one

Don Jones

Appears SocMo hasn’t been flossing. Nothing worse than monkey tooth decay

Betsy

Here’s my official vote! Dennis, good memory on the Cheetos! I prefer the puffed ones please! 🙂

Dennis Jones

There will be a big bag of puffed Cheetos waitin for ya at the lake in June, Betsy…

Dennis Jones

well… at ten PM Central Time I have 2 real votes… one from Betsy, and one from Pierre (yes, I’m counting that one)… so I officially got two… I think that last one from Betsy might have put me over the top in this contest… I’m keeping my fingers crossed…

The Official Brother Jones LOST Fan Forum

September 29, 2005

LOST

There are about a half-a-kajillion fan forums on the internet for the ABC television show LOST. Now there are a half-a-kajillion and one.

Introducing the official un-official web site to cuss n discuss your latest kookie theories about this show…

…its …THE BROTHER JONES LOST FAN FORUM!

please keep hands and feet inside the ride at all times

The Comments

Doug Jones

SocMo is definitely one of the OTHERS… and that guy down in the hatch is just his lackey… SocMo is the brains of the island.

Dennis Jones

I dont know about you Doug, but I started watching this because I thought there were going to be dinosaurs eating people each week… I still haven’t given up on that idea… perhaps Socmo rides a Mastodon into tribal council and saves Locke from being voted off the island?… just a theory…

Doug Jones

I think there is no dinosaur… what you are seeing is just SocMo letting off a little steam. He does have a temper you know.

Dennis Jones

yes… yes that makes sense, Doug… that answers the mystery about the black smoke… I have another theory about Locke being related to our friend and fellow artist Gary Locke, but I haven’t quite got that idea figured out yet…

Don Jones

I believe when Michael and Sawyer finally rode their bamboo bomb to shore they discovered that Jin had flipped his lid and had started a dairy farm. That’s the reason he was yelling “Udders, udders, udders!” at them.

Dennis Jones

Yes, Don the dairy farm theory has been floating around the internet for some time now… the other part of that theory that you left out is that it is so dry there on the beach the cows are actually giving powdered milk…

Doug Jones

My theory is Gary Locke is SocMo’s father. This would explain his wild and crazy behavior. At some point John Locke will pull off his latex disguise and reveal that he is Gary Locke and say… “SocMo… I am your father!” Then the fun begins.

Don Jones

Jin was udderly insane. This Locke theory makes alot of sense. So much sense that perhaps that’s the catch. If SocMo is indeed the son of Gary… then that means SocMo is the grandchild of John. It all ties together… much like the bamboo raft. BUT!… is the shark really dead or was that just a flesh wound?

Dennis Jones

hmmm… some excellent thinking going on today from the Brothers Jones… I cannot quit pondering Dons cow theory tho… I believe I saw in the bunker… there in the background… not just some old time computers… but a couple of cow-culators… it all plays into the dairy cow theory I believe…

Don Jones

Maybe those other guys are banished Amish dairy farmers and they are coming on the beach to raise a bamboo barn…

Dennis Jones

…now that would explain A LOT Don… the “others” are a group of shunned Amish folk who are stranded on the same island after their makeshift buggy raft was blown off course by hurricane Katrina… perhaps their cows quit giving milk… became… milk-duds so to speak… they would have to do something… right? …going to the beach for a good ole fashioned barn raising makes perfect sense… brilliant… I think we are about to get this season figured out…

Don Jones

Now we’ve done it. There’s really no more reasons to watch LOST since we figured it all out. I’m switchin’ to MARTHA!

Dennis Jones

HOLY COW!!!

Kyle Jones

Just remember, for every Locke, there is a Key

Doug Jones

John (Gary) Locke: SocMo… I am your father. Join me on the DARK side of the FARM and together we will rule the island! SocMo: NOoooOOOoooooOOOooo…. …well, maybe.

Doug Jones

Prediction#1: Next week it will be revealed that Kate is SocMo’s sister. She will appear with two honey buns glued to her head.

Doug Jones

Prediction#2 The explosions on the island are nothing more than exploding cows… who can’t handle their methane production.

Doug Jones

Prediction#3 Desmond will reach the correct speed on his exercise bike and BLAST into the future… where Michael J. Fox will teach him to use a hoverboard.

Thomas

Great! half-a-kajillion and one forums on lost and yet no one is suspecting the Dog, you know Vincent. Runs off into the jungle willie-nillie and ALWAYS comes back – but only when he WANTS to… People go running off after him and THEN they have this “I see dead people” experience… Hmmm … And has anyone checked his dog tag number? If you look closely in Episode 5, season 1, the number is 7970! While this number isn’t the sum of the numbers on the side of the hatch (4 8 15 16 23 42), it’s VERY interesting these numbers have NO relationship to anything that’s happened to anyone on the plane! And, it turns out, the dog’s former owner did own a dairy farm. Why did Vincent bring them all here? Everyone, aside from Walt, on Oceanic Flight 815 is a cat lover … This has driven Vincent to kidnap Walt and keep him safe, while trying to quarantine everyone else on the island. I think I’ve proved my point on this … Excellent discussion guys!

Doug Jones

4 8 15 16 23 42… HUT! Excellent work Thomas! It’s ALWAYS the DOG… unless there is a butler… and I haven’t seen a butler yet. The mastermind of the entire deal is a small, 300 year old Amish farmer… YODER. He wants the dog to heard his cows to the barn that is being raised on the beach by the OTHERS.

Don Jones

Man, that’s deep. Who would’ve thought Walt (Disney) was Vincent’s (Van Gogh) evil twin?

Don Jones

I think those are the same signals that Daunte Culpepper has been utilizing with the Vikings this year… no wonder they’ve LOST!

Doug Jones

Vincent… yeah… Vincent…. and he always goes out at night… Starry Starry Night….

Dennis Jones

wow… I thought I had this all figured out until Doug and Thomas came in with these new scenarios… both very plausible… I may have to watch again next week now…

Fox Mulder

“The truth is out there…. and you find it on BrotherJones dot com”

Dennis Jones

…thats ‘cause we are all sitting around here with our home made tin foil anti-alien protective helmets on… we are still able to think for ourselves…

Thomas

I wasn’t going to go into the play calling and Da Vincent code, but since you seem to be a rather open minded group here, I’ll go a bit further … Vincent actually came up with this code – the REAL Da Vinci code (4 8 15 16 23 42) … He knew this would create havoc whenever used ( just look at Hurley’s problems when used for the lottery) after an experiment with some Chickens that ended rather grotesquely … Unfortunately, on a recent trip, a certain QB for a certain team, based in Wisconsin, took a trip to nearby Amish Dairy farm to pick up some of his favorite cheese, saw the numbers etched on the side of a doghouse and thought he might try them in the upcoming season (considering they didn’t have much of an offensive line any longer, what could it hurt, he thought) … Well, this is all a spin-off of what Vincent’s original intentions were, but, suffice to say, they have had serious ramifications upon a certain team in Green Bay. Next time Green Bay plays, notice what NUMBER is on the starting QB’s jersey and how many YEARS experience he has… And just look at the LOST expression on his face often exhibited … Coincidence? I think not.

Nick Jones Everybody

ok spoiler warning…. here is what’s really going on. We all know Charlie’s past…. he’s a hobbit. not just any hobbit… he is a good personal friend of Frodo. Now Frodo is in possession of this ring that a lot of people want…. These people want it so much that they would be willing to crash a plane just to get their hands on it…. coincidence? look at the number sequence…

4 – number of hobbit friends that Frodo has
8- 4 is half of 8, hobbits are half the size of people.
15- 1 minus 5 equals negative four, if you drop the negative you again have the number of hobbit friends…
16- 6-1 equals 5… the number of letters in FRODO
23 – 2+3 equals 5 also the number of letters in Frodo.
42- this is a stupid number and was just thrown in to confuse everyone…

In support of the cow theory however… The first thing that Jack said when he saw Desmond was Mooo…

Don Jones

I’d like to direct the attention back to the DON journal for a moment for an updated picture that is worth the wait on dial-up… (Den, that’s you.) Nick, can you help me with my taxes next year? Your number crunchin’ is fugh-naugh-men-nul.

Doug Jones

Once me and some hobbits were hanging around with Leonardo and I caught the Da Vinci cold. Used a TON of tissues blowing my nose.

Thomas

Filthy Hobbitss

Dennis Jones

…oh man… NICK… I couldn’t help myself even tho you had a spoiler warning up and I read your inside information on the show anyway… you just RUINED it for me… thanks a lot…

Don Jones

Who’s Charlie?

Dennis Jones

Don I told you to watch season one with your boys…

Dennis Jones

ok, ok, I will tell you who Charlie is… Charlie actually really is the hobbit on the show… apparently after saving Narnia the hobbits put together a hard rockin’ band named OrcShaft and toured quite extensively… he was trying to get the band back together when the plane went down…

Don Jones

I obviously overlooked this critical piece of information in the Season 1 hour summary.
I feel short changed. Seems like OrcShaft was one of those one hit wonder groups. SocMo worked as a roadie for their Aussie Tour.

Mason Jones

Uncle Denny the only problem with your Charlie theory is that he has never been to Narnia but maybe MIDDLE EARTH.

Dennis Jones

hmmm… …are you sure about that Mason? …because I seem to remember the first thing the hobbits did after saving Narnia was play an OrcShaft concert at some big stadium there and they had plenty of Turkish Delight for everyone in attendance…

Dennis Jones

…by the way Don, since you are new to the show this season and did not seem to know who Charlie the hobbit was, you might need to know this about him too… he is an addict… he is hooked on the Turkish Delight… sad, but true… and that little statue of the Mother Mary he keeps in his little hobbit knapsack… its full of the stuff…

Hurley’s Imaginary Friend

April 6, 2006

Hurley2

…in the nut house…

Hurley3

…snapshot of Hurley and imaginary friend…

Well… just when you think you have the hit ABC television show LOST figured out they throw something new at you. I didn’t know what to think after last nights show. As a public service to all the Brother Jones LOST fans out there, I am posting these screen caps from last nights episode. Perhaps if we study them carefully we can figure out what exactly is going on with this show.

The Comments

Don Jones

I missed the show. From these pictures it looks like your “vacation” pictures.

Dennis Jones

…for about 99 cents you can download it and watch it…

Doug Jones

does eating celery cause halucinations?

Doug Jones

does eating celery cause halucinations?

Fake Fur

April 17, 2006

FakeFur

…staying awake for football…

As some of you may recall, I recently cleaned up my studio, and one of the things I found in it was a piece of fake fur.

I was originally going to attach the fake fur to my hockey goaltenders helmet and strike fear into the hearts of oncoming skaters. This, (of course), was faulty thinking on my part. If you know anything about hockey at all, you know that the only thing a furry goaltenders helmet would do to an opposing player is give him a target to shoot for. A furry goaltenders helmet would also be, (no doubt), very, very hot. So the furry goaltenders helmet idea was scrapped before it was even started and the fur got tossed into a corner in my studio.

Some of you may also remember that in a futile attempt to stay awake all the way to the end of Monday Night Football games this year I took up sewing. I grabbed the fur one night and this bear ended up being the last of my attempts to not fall asleep during a late night NFL game.

Epilogue: Fur once meant to strike terror into the hearts of enemies is now used to bring joy and goodwill to all mankind.

The Comments

Don Jones

If I remember right you had a hard time staying awake because of the crazy, multifaceted Indiana time zones that put the MNF game starting at 2 a.m. or something. Didn’t your Hoosier representatives get a new Daylight savings time issue voted in?

Dennis Jones

…yes, Don, we sure did… Indiana is now officially part of the Eastern Time Zone… except for the parts that are not… they are on Central Time… unfortunately, I am in the part of the state on Eastern time… so a Monday Night Football game starts at 9:00 for me and ends around midnight… I cant even make it thru the second quarter without falling fast asleep…

Doug Jones

SocMo would like to know if BearMo could come over for a play date. They could have a honey ‘n’ tea party! … SocMo is envious of that navel… his is missing you know…

Dennis Jones

…Socmo has too much attitude to hang out with this goody two shoes…

Fan of North (Rock?)

Hey, would you please send the info on how to listen to Pete Jones’ music via the pure volume site? We can get to the pure volume page, but can’t find him or his band on a search… Help, from Europe…

Don Jones

North is bringing fans in from the ends of the earth. I downloaded their two tunes from PureVolume and now have them loaded up for heavy rotation this week.

Jeff

I think a fur hockey mask could be intimidating but you would need to leave the rest of the animal it came from intact just hanging off the side.

Dennis Jones

…Jeff, I was also going to add horns to my furry goaltenders helmet, but I could not figure out a way to make them withstand a 90 mph slap shot…

Dennis Jones

Here’s a link to NorthRock on Pure Volume.

Roballoo

Wowo. I’m impressed. Does this mean you are going to switch your illustration style to 3d now?

Dennis Jones

…3d …4d …whatever it takes…

Don Jones

Nothing like kicking off a vacation week with a moving violation. What’s wrong with rolling through a STOP sign?

Dennis Jones

….yyaAAaahhh… you got a ticket for that? I thought it was ok to do that… at least in Missouri… in the Ozarks…

Don Jones

Yep, sure did. One nice yellow ticket on my way back from Wal-Mart. That was one expensive little trip for Cheeze-Its. I need to find myself a good lawyer and fight this thing all the way TO THE SUPREME COURT!!! My rights have been violated. ( I was turning right.)

Jeff

Just tell the officer, you are a civilian watch dog and you were just checking up on his work ethic.. That did not work for me in Texas but just maybe??

Don Jones

“But officer… as I rounded the corner on two wheels… the other two wheels stopped.”