Go For The Bargain!

April 7, 2005

StudioOneMonster

So you go online to the i-Tunes Music Store and buy ten songs at a dollar apiece and each of those songs is approximately three and a half minutes long. You just got yourself thirty-five minutes of music for ten bucks. Not bad but you could do better…

Next time try using the Brother Jones Method of purchasing products. Look for the bargain! Get the really long songs! Here is a list I would suggest

(1)I Know Your Out There Somewhere (Moody Blues) 6:38
(2)Layla (the original version) (Cream / Eric Clapton) 7:05
(3)Long Time (Boston) 7:46
(4)Beginnings (Chicago) 7:52
(5)Dance With me George (Ambrosia) 7:53
(6)Major Tom (extended version) (Peter Schilling) 8:05
(7)Long Way (Little River Band) 8:46
(8)Song For America (Kansas) 9:05
(9)Grey Day (Jesse Colin Young) 11:20
(10)Free Bird (live version) (Lynyd Skynyrd) 13:41

Using the Brother Jones Method of buying music you have just purchased an hour and a half of music with the same ten dollars! You have almost tripled the amount of music you originally had by simply getting the longest songs available.

Who cares if you don’t like any of the music you just bought… YOU GOT A BARGAIN!

The Comments

Dennis Jones

May I also suggest “Bad Time” by the Jayhawks… it only runs 3:27… but I really like that song…

Doug Jones

I always liked the “Bit ‘O Honey” song by Pete Jones. “Deerslayer Blues” and “Alizarin Crimson” are also favorites. When will these be available on the podcast? Oh, and then there is the classic “Begonji Boy” and smelly pirate song…. all great tunes… Will these be downloadable on iJones?

Don Jones

Yes indeed my music lover brothers. In fact, other classics such as “Get off the stove Grandma, You’re too old to wear hot pants”, along with that old sheep herder’s love song “I’ll never find another ewe” will all be queued up and ready for download on the upcoming Brother Jones Podcast page. We are currently trying to acquire additional bandwidth for these massive downloads. Stay tuned

Don Jones

One more item – my good friend John Tesh said the best BLUES album ever was Miles Davis’ Kind of Blue. I looked it up on iTunes and it fit the Brother Jones Tune purchase profile the shortest tune is 9:22 and the longest is All Blues, 11:32. A great $9.99 buy for over an hours worth of blooze.

the Lama

I thought for sure we would hear from Cheap Gene on this post.

Cheap Gene

OK, OK! No more borrowing everybody’s music and ripping off copies for myself. I’m going straight. It’s the iJones method for me now on! But, maybe Dennis would lend me……

the Lama

Cheap Gene’s automobile is so old, his car insurance policy covers theft, fire, and Indian raids.

Phlegminator

Come December, Cheap Gene starts dreaming of a tight Christmas.

Remington J. Bradford

Gentlemen: I am counsel on retainer for the honorable Mr. Cheap Gene. We take an extremely dim view of the aforesaid slander upon his personage. The party of the first part, being myself, will continue to monitor this situation. Sincerely yours, Remington J. Bradford, Esq., LLD, PDQ, IOU

Kyle Jones

Well, my favorite song is over just over 17 minutes long. Ive listened to it probobly over 100 times. Thats a lot of my life. A lot of my life.. well spent.

Dennis Jones

OK Kyle, I’ll bite… what song is it?

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A Tribute To Brother Doug

February 25, 2006

CocktailCasual

…from the Plugged album…

We are all pretty darn proud of big brother Doug for selling his jumbo guitar for $2600.00 the other night. I am sure Doug made quite a grand entrance in his festive “cocktail casual” attire.

The mere thought of this was so inspiring WeaselBoy wrote a tribute song about it.

Doug, why dont you download this and play it in your car as you drive to your next big event. I noticed the complicated lyrics are included on the site. Maybe one day you can memorize them and sing along.

The Comments

Don Jones

I am predicting “Cocktail Casual” will soon be climbing up the BILLBOARD charts. It’s HOT! It’s inspirational AND motivational. It kind of conjurs up a George Benson “On Broadway…” melody line of sorts. Catchy. Crisp editing too. Doug you got yourself a THEME SONG.

WeaselBoy

…thanks dude… you see man, there’s like this Broadway Street in downtown Nashville… and like Doug probably had to drive down Broadway to get to the jumbo guitar deal… so I’m thinking it’s like, for Doug anyway, like being as close to being on Broadway as he’s gonna get… dude…

Dennis Jones

…WeaselBoy can shred a guitar… he certainly came up with one smokin’ guitar solo in this one…

Simon Cowell

simpy HORRID!

Doug Jones

I’m working on learning the lyrics so I can sing this as I drive my Limo down Broadway… right into the Cumberland river. how ‘bout sending me the Ukulele chords so I can play along too…

WeaselBoy

…Simon is always so harsh… I value Paula and Randys opinions much more…

Paula

it was HORRID

Randy

Dawg… it was SO HORRID!

WeaselBoy

…wow… and I spent almost two whole hours writing and recording that…

Dennis Jones

…perhaps if you could get that William Hung kid to sing your vocals next time it would help…

Don Jones

When it comes to high quality recordin’ you just have to spend that kind of time. Luckily if you execute your songs like myself … one take usually gets it. Keep that raw, pure, unadulterated sound quality shining through.

Jeff

Not to change the subject but.. Who won the gold in hockey? Was it the Red Wings, uh,, Avalanc…I’m confused.. Besides they don’t let me have a sound card at work so I can’t hear the “song” anyway..

Dennis Jones

…well …I was rooting for the U.S. to win… but they failed miserably…

…so I started rooting for our neighbors to the north, the Canadians… but they failed miserably, too…

…so I decided to root for the Chzeck Republic because I was just there a month ago… Jagr and the boys stumbled along the way, but won bronze I think…

…I did not see the medal game, but I think it was the Swedes vs Fins… I wasn’t rooting for either of them… this is no doubt why they ended up playing for gold…

~

~ BROTHERJONES BONUS COVERAGE! ~

My post above was in response to my big brother Doug’s post below.

~

February 24, 2006

the end.

2006_02_23_boot

these boots were made for…limpin’

2006_02_23_redcarpet

my baby at the red carpet

2006_02_23_sold

c’mon… somebody BUY this thing!…

Tonight was the final chapter in my TWANG guitar saga… the auction. As one of the artists, I received one ticket to attend the gala auction. Tickets to attend the auction went for $200 each… I went alone.

I was advised the dress for the evening was to be “festive cocktail.” I had to ask what that meant. I was told the country music industry doesn’t do black tie…they are a pretty casual group… a jacket would be fine. I decided to go as countryish as I could… to blend in. I got my 20 year old boots out of the attic and ironed my new Levis. Into my jacket pockets I loaded up my camera, extra batteries (which I DID have to use) and a 3”x5” sketchbook.

After about 15 minutes at the auction, I remembered why my boots were in the attic. My little toe (left foot) was being jammed into the next toe. My toenail was stabbing into that neighbor toe like a knife! Bad PAIN! And walking in boots is a bit awkward after wearing tennies. I had to work hard at not doing a triple klutz into someone. I made it through the food line, and found one of the FEW places that I could sit down. There were no chairs at this event… you had to stand for the evening. The noise level of the room was extremely loud. I could barely make out the auctioneer over the noise.

I could go on about the celebs I saw and blah, blah, blah… but it’s late…and I’m tired… so I will cut to the chase here. The guitars that were linked to someone like Roy Orbison, Charlie Daniels or Brooks and Dunn went for the big bucks. Roy’s went for $8,200, Charlie’s for $13,000 and B&D’s for $13,000. Those of us who just painted a design without a hot celebrity… sold ours for something in the $2,500- $5,500 range. My guitar, with the avery dots stuck all over it (he he he) went for $2,600. All the money from the sale of the guitars went to various charities such as the Country Music Hall of Fame and Museum, United Way, and Cystic Fibrosis Foundation.

My guitar was number 29 out of 68 that were to be auctioned off. As soon as it sold, I limped to my limo (which was cleverly disguised as a blue mini-van with 184,000 miles and only one working headlight) and drove home as fast as I could. First order of business….

GET THESE STINKIN’ BOOTS OFF!

The Comments

Dennis Jones

…oh man… what I really wanted to see here was a picture of you in “Festive Cocktail” regalia… couldn’t you have handed your camera to Charlie Daniels or someone and had them take a quick picture of you with your guitar?

megan

$2,600.00??? That’s fantastic! Good for you! And good for you for contributing your artistic talents to such good causes. Love the pic of your guitar on the red carpet, that’s priceless. Are the neighboring toes getting along ok today? Or will your thumb have to intervene?

Doug Jones

This event took place in the lobby of the BMI music building. We were packed in there like sardines. You had to worm your way through the crowd to get anywhere… which is difficult to do in painful cowboy boots. I found a chair across from the elevators at the far end of the lobby and sat there till the auction got going good. The first thing I said today was… “It’s great to have my tennies on again!” insert smiley face here.

Don Jones

I felt like I was there in attendance with you Douger. Especially when you talked about the food line. If you had given Corporate Brother Jones a heads up perhaps we could have allocated some dollars toward purchasing this fantastic piece of Brother Jones memorabilia for our Branson museum which has yet to break ground. At least take this off your taxes… I’m betting Turbo Tax has a line for this SOMEwhere.

Doug Jones

It works like this, Don… the guy who BUYS it gets the tax break… NOT the guy who paints it. We each got a $500 honorarium for painting these things… which we then had to PAY taxes on as income. I figure I made about 5 bucks an hour on this project. But I did try to eat my weight in free food last night.

Dennis Jones

…dont sell the free food short…

Don Jones

Sounds like our fleet of Brother Jones limos are due for an overhaul. And before I forget it… nice boots.

Doug Jones

you had a pair just like these that I really liked, Don. I think you modified yours with a chainsaw, though….

Don Jones

I believe that was on the same day I had a head-on with my Yard Man into the retaining wall. Man I love yard work.

Dennis Jones

…yard work for you is a contact sport…

Nick Jones Everybody

This post is not Freaky enough for Freaky Friday…. I’m disappointed. Cool story, but got in the way of routine. Ten point deduction. Congrats on the guitar though.

Doug Jones

always GRAND to have NJE appearing on my page… even if it IS to call me to task. Had to interrupt the ever popular and growing F.F. this week ‘cause I actually GOT OUTTA THE HOUSE for something (besides going to the mailbox) sorry

Nick Jones Everybody

ok… all is forgiven. as long as we get back to routine soon… I had to look at my desktop clock just to make sure it really was friday and I wasn’t prematurely excited about the weekend…

megan

Perhaps the freakiness of this Friday IS that you left the house???

Don Jones

Why were the boots in the attic? Storage? You must have an incredible filing system in the attic.

Doug Jones

They had been occupying valuable real estate in my tiny closet for years, so they were banished to the attic about a year ago. Right now they are still in the floor where I kicked them off… the Dennis filing system.