Spartaweaselcus the Hoplite

October 5, 2009

WzloplisWarrior2

For years I pencilled on watercolor paper because I rendered with watercolor. With my switch to digital coloring I am no longer chained to drawing on that inferior surface.

I’ve recently been experimenting with all kinds of paper to do my pencil work on. I love bristol but it’s a bit pricey. Brother Doug uses laser copy paper. I tried some of that. Not bad. The other day I was killing time in Staples and noticed they had a 32 pound laser paper that’s 25% cotton. It comes in white and ivory (looks yellow to me). I bought a package of the ivory and I really like the feel of it. This hoplite was my first experiment using it.

The Comments

Dennis Jones

…we’ve been having a problem with spam over on brother Don’s page for a couple of weeks now and I’m guessing Keegan came in with some extra thick duct tape and fixed it but in the process all the comments on my page were deleted so I just wanted everyone that posted here to know I didn’t delete your comments… I liked your comments… there were some really funny comments on this page… they might have been the best bunch of comments made this year… perhaps the best comments ever made in the history of Brother Jones commenting ever!… unfortunately they became a casualty in our fight with spammers… oh, the humanity…

Don Jones

I’m hearing you Dennis. In our ongoing battle against the evil, viagra-selling SPAMmers, there will be losses. But, we must hold our blog high, and continue to wage war against those that are trying to sell something here. On second thought, maybe they can help us move some of our overstocked shelves at the Brother Jones Cafe Press store?

Jeff

Just put Spartaweaselcus and his army on them..

Dennis Jones

…we did have Spartaweaselcus as our primary defense against spam and those are indeed three despicable spam arrows stuck in his shield… the problem was Don was taking on thousands of spam comments a day and poor Spartaweaselcus was simply overrun…

Roballoo!

Good to hear – here I was thinking you fine folks didn’t like me anymore. Whew!

Jeff

Historically Spartaweaselcus led an army of migrant olive pickers on a crusade through northern Italy taking over pizza shops right? Only Julieus Wheezer and the Roman Army could stop him..I’m not sure, I failed history.

Don Jones

Jeff, that is my kind of history. I remember ol’ Wheezer and his Olive brigade just like that!

Jeff

I AM Spartaweaselcus.. no I am Spartaweaselcus…

Dennis Jones

…I’m going to take all the comments Jeff has made on my page over the past few years, string em all together, add pictures and make me the biggest baddest graphic novel ever!

Jeff

I am all about the history thing..

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Julius Weazer

October 13, 2009

JuliusWeasel2

Spartaweaselcus led his ragtag band of migrant olive pickers on a crusade through Northern Italy overtaking every pizza shop that stood in his way. Only Julius Weazer and the Romaine Lettuce Army could stop him.

The Comments

Dennis Jones

…I hope somebody will finish this story ‘cause I’m wildly interested in where it’s heading…

The “Ripleys” Guy

This image makes me ask the question: “is Armegeddon and Armadillo somehow mysteriously related”? Love the awesome art!

Don Jones

Little did the esteemed olive picker leader know, Weazer and his lethal leafy lineup had set up an ambush at a faux pizza parlor named Pizza Gut.

Jeff

Armadillo…I almost cried..Nice touch.

Jeff

Spartaweaselcus was out shopping for the freshest ingredients with his Papa John when his band of olive pickers were led into battle by a “fake Spartaweaselcus” that kinda looked like Charleton Heston..

Jeff

As it turns out it was not Spartaweaselcus at all. The Olive Gardeners were led into battle by his nephew the football star “Pair a Cleats” who looked more like Kirk Douglas.

Dennis Jones

…and now a word from our sponsors…

…VISIT BROTHERJONES FOR ALL
YOUR WEB BROWSING NEEDS…

…now back to our exciting story…

Doug Jones

…but then, swooping down outta the mountains came Rush Lamebaugh who bought the team and forced them to change their uniforms from pink capes to yellow spandex unitards.

Don Jones

Rush’s sofistikated taste in uniforms have always been in question and so the other clickish MFL team owners banished Lamebaugh and his millions to only ingesting locker room wall coverings.

Jeff

Much more masculine..

Jeff

Besides anyone who went to the mall in the early 80s knows Julius is ORANGE.

The “Ripleys” Guy

Spartaweaselcus should also be hailed for his support of Breast Cancer Awareness Month!

The “Ripleys” Guy

I’m sorry, that should be Julius Weazer!

Nik

Genghis Khan vs Julius Weazer would be a great fight to watch!

Jeff

Genghis was a skilled horseman and poor Julius got his armadillo impounded for double parking at a bowling ally. Not much of a fight if ya ask me.

Don Jones

Good eye on the pink cape tribute “Ripleys” Guy. Good enough for the NFL… good enough for Brother Jones.

Nik

How bout the Pillsbury Dough Boy vs the Marshmellow Man?

Dennis Jones

…this story seems to have taken on multiple sub plot lines…

Jeff

Spartaweaselcus and Papa John watched as the battle of DiGiorno raged throughout the day. The exhausted Romaine army rallied to overcome the beleaguered Olive Gardeners. Spartaweaselcus and Papa John fled to Tuscany where they set-up a pizza delivery shop that was quickly franchised.

Jeff

As for the Armadillo, he was stolen from the police impound lot and ended up on a pizza at Wolfgang Pucks Beverly Hills Bistro.

I Am Spartaweaselcus

October 15, 2009

Spartaweaselcus2

The story had reached its sad conclusion. Spartaweaselcus and his rebel band of olive pickers were trapped and surrounded by the mighty Romaine Lettuce Army. Julius Weazer galloped up on his fearsome war armadillo and demanded, “which one of you is Spartaweaselcus?” To his astonishment, each rebel one after the other answered, “I am Spartaweaselcus.” Unable to determine which one actually was the former gladiator, Weazer confiscated all of their olives and set sail for the new world where he opened a successful chain of Olive Garden Restaurants and Spartaweaselcus lived to eat pizza another day.

The Comments

Jeff

Nice chin..

Dennis Jones

…trying to stay true to the original version of this story…

Don Jones

I’d give anything for a belt like Sparaweaselcussesss.

The “Ripleys” Guy

That right arm looks vaguely familiar…Is that where Under Armor got that thing they put on Adrian Peterson in the commercial????

Nik

WOW! That is GREAT! Love the sword and he reminds me Tom Cruise!

Jeff

Who was ever scared of Tom Cruise? Clearly Kirk Douglass was much more intimidating.

Jeff

I’m just sorry the epic has to end.

Dennis Jones

…Jeff, you’re the one that started this whole mess with those nutty comments a couple of posts back. You got the story bouncing around in my head and then I had to put pictures to it…

Apollojet

Hello! You are great man. Really one of my favorite illustrators. Keep on.

Jeff

This has been a really fun picture set..

Jeff

You can call these segments, “Twisted History” we will have even more kids failing history tests.

Dennis Jones

…we can add the theme music from “Fractured Fairy Tales” to them from the old Rocky and Bullwinkle show to really punch em up…

Dennis Jones

…thanks Apollojet!

Jeff

Good idea.. If we are going to warp young peoples minds with Twisted history, we should have theme music..