Star Wars?

May 27, 2005

StarWarsSocmo

I have not seen the new Star Wars movie yet. Is it anything like this?

The Comments

Dennis Jones

..featuring Doug Skywalker, Obe Den Kanobe, and Dons Solo?

Don Jones

Nothing worse than back seat drivers. It appears Chewy is trying really hard to ignore the three of us by staring out the window. Guess we should’ve brushed our teeth or something

Marcelo from Brasil!!!!!!

Hey guys…im pretty sure that if George lucas have seem it he would put you as co-stars of the last movie…that by the way, was much better tham the first two movies…all that CG tecnologies dont match those hand-made X-wings …and the real master yoda made of foam !!!!!
there is a starwars made with vegetables. is very funny!!! abrao pra todos !!!!!

Don Jones

I love it when the Brazilians post-up

Don Jones

I just visited the stats in the website basement archive and apparently 2 percent of our current 56,000 unique visitors are from Brazil. That’s about 1,120 folks.

Dennis Jones

Marcelo, that Star Wars parody is pretty funny… here it is…

Dennis Jones

HEY… how did Jedi Master Socmo get in the back seat! The force is strong with this web page.

Don Jones

Store Wars is fantastico. Reassures me to know the organic raised beef we buy up at Nixa Hardware (really) is the right choice.

Dennis Jones

…do you remember that little Star Wars flash film from Dude Studios where they call each other “dude” all the way thru?

Don Jones

I don’t dude.

Keegan Jones

Oh yeah, I totally forgot about Star Dudes. There is nothing that can beat it.

Jake Walden

Such realism, as if to scream, “Suuuuuue Meeeeee!”

GMoney

Did anyone see the Frankenstein reference? EEERRRR!!!! Fire BAAADDDD!!!!!!

Doug Jones

I think I was busy at the time of this posting and intended to get back to it later…. THIS is later! Hey… that Store Wars is one great little parody! Thanks for reminding me of it!

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Episode One

May 28, 2005

PhantomTOTAL

The Comments

Don Jones

I have GOT to get to the theatre for this one. Looking at Jar Jar makes me sort of queezy.

Dennis Jones

Listening to Jar Jar in the actual movie made me kinda queezy…

Gourd Season is ON!

May 29, 2005

GourdPatch

Yes, the Official Brother Jones Gourd Patch has finally been deposited into the ground and we are now hoping for yet another productive season.

This year we have planted bottleneck, birdhouse, longneck dipper, basket, miniature… and several other varieties that I cant seem to remember at the time of this posting.

Here is a little math problem for you. We planted 72 mounds this year. Each mound has at least three seeds in it. Each seed will produce a vine. A really bad vine might produce five gourds. A really good vine could produce ten or more. How many gourds might we expect to see by the end of the season?

This math problem is in memory of our Grandma Grantham who thought math was really, really fun. She bought little Donnie and me math workbooks to do (for fun) one summer when we spent a week with her and Grandpa at the farm. Little Donnie and I hid in the turkey house to escape having to do the really, really fun math workbooks.

The Comments

Kyle Jones

Eleventy Billion

Lil’ Donnie

I loved that turkey house. We smoked alot of grape vines in there.

Dennis Jones

Kyle, that is exactly right… your ability to figure out higher math equations like this one does indicate to me that you are now truly a high school graduate…

Dennis Jones

…and Lil’ Donnie… time for you to come in from the grape vine break and practice your math…

Doug Jones

is eleventy billion more than a dozen… or less… I forget. and just what are you going to do with eleventy billion gourds?

Dennis Jones

…what am I going to do with eleventy billion gourds? Hey, what CANT I do with eleventy billion gourds is the question.

For instance…

…since they float I could always tie them all together and build a raft so I could escape this crazy island with the mysterious invisible monster on it… I would just hope not to run into any pirates on the way home that want to kidnap the kid on the boat… you know… that sort of thing…

Doug Jones

…or you could turn them into an army and fight the clone wars and defeat the evil Empire.

Nick Jones Everybody

I think this should be like a reality show for you. People send in ideas for things you should make with gourds and then you produce them and show the process for the world to see. I got dibs on the mikey character.

Dennis Jones

…so, like… I walk out into the garage and start yelling at Pete about how he better hurry up and get that custom gourd done and he yells back at me about how it takes a lot of time to do a really cool gourd and then you walk into the garage and crack a joke and then we all have a good laugh and then we take the gourd to some big gourd show and sign autographs just like they do on American Chopper… something like that?

Nick Jones Everybody

now see that’s what I’m talking about. All we have to remember is that every time we talk to the camera it has to sound completely contrived and scripted. Who will be the high school kid that works harder than all of us and secretly thinks we are all morons? oh by the way I found out you weren’t Deep Throat after all. Bummer dude.

Don Jones

Nick, it’s ironic you mentioned Deep Throat. The Jones brothers also sport a moniker utilizing the key word Deep. Unbeknownst to you Dennis, (your Father) is rolling in the dough. In other words, wealthy. He is known as Deep Pockets. I, the former owner of the 1991 Dodge Caravan with 2 or 3 transmissions go by Deep Heap. Uncle Doug and his notorious attempts at plumbing and other assorted handyman jobs has earned him the down and dirty little title of Deep DoDo. There ya go hope this gives you some insight on your DNA.

Dennis Jones

…nicholas LUKE… I AM YOUR FATHER…

Nick Jones Everybody

nnnNNNNOOOOOOOOoooo!!!!

Doug Jones

join the DarkJoneses and rule the universe with us…

Don Jones

Which movie is this dialogue from? I get confused.

Dennis Jones

Jones Wars

Nick Jones Everybody

Aren’t you supposed to cut my hand off first or something? I’m just not feeling the drama here. By the way do I also have a hottie sister that you’ve never told me about?

Dennis Jones

nnnNNNNOOOOOOOOoooo!!!!

Don Jones

nnnNNNNOOOOOOOOoooo!!!! I just wanted to type that as well

New Sketchbook Stuff

June 10, 2005

6-10-Yoda-

I can fritter away a lot of time quickly with a pencil and a sheet of paper. I did this picture yesterday killing time at the dentist’s office while waiting for my son. I just posted eight new sketches from my drawing book. Nothing earth shaking here, just something new to look at.

The Comments

Doug Jones

drew something, you did.

Don Jones

Janson is demanding a print-out of this Yoda drawing… I must comply.

Banshee

Awesome Dennis… maybe the hint of some faded colors… you could submit it to a fan art website. It is really good. FOWA: week of 4-10-05 Forget things sometimes I do. When no longer on the dark side I am, at Brother Jones website I am found.

Dennis Jones

Yoda talk is kinda fun… take a sentence… split it in two… put the first part at the end and presto chango you are talking Yodish… mmmm… end this comment now I must… mmmm…

JoyOfPainting Part2 Episode 1

October 16, 2006

JOP1

…with your host, young Den Joneswalker…

R2D2nMe

…a beat-up R2 unit delivers a mysterious rough…

2Assignment

…what can this mean?

Welcome to The Joy Of Painting; Episode Two …Attack Of The Clones. I am your host, Dennis Jones, and this week I will be walking you through one of my recent jobs from start to finish.

A damaged R2 Unit mysteriously arrives at my doorstep. I notice that something seems to be lodged in it’s Plaskon T-2000 Globulator, so I pry it out with my screwdriver. A hologram of a client instantly appears and pleads with me to do a poster for her. I feel sorry for the hologram girl because she is obviously having a bad hair day, so I say, “sure, I’ll do a poster for you.” A few days later the assignment arrives in the mail.

Some folks are very specific with their art direction, others… not so much. This particular job came with a rough attached (pictured above) for me to work from. I understood the concept, but the prospect of drawing a bunch of pipes and test tubes was not very exciting. I immediately began trying to come up with ways to change their idea. This, (of course), is where I usually… well… almost always… get myself into trouble.

I put their rough on the floor of my studio and decide to just walk around it for a few days while I work on other jobs. Perhaps time will supply me with the revelation I need to tweak this job into something I will enjoy doing a bit more.

Will the Force be with young Joneswalker on this project? Will inspiration magically pop up out of nowhere just like the hologram did? Or is something much darker lurking in his future? Find out in tomorrows exciting second episode of …The Joy Of Painting!

The Comments

Doug Jones

the FARCE is strong in young Joneswalker…

Don Jones

I got as far as the GUILT METER and felt so bad about this project I had to move on…

Dennis Jones

…unfortunately a GuiltOmeter, while meant originally to only measure guilt, tends to also induce a lot of guilt in a person…

Doug Jones

Rube Goldberg could do a number on this idea…

Doug Jones

It would end with a bowling ball falling off a ladder on someone’s toe and them yelling something bad… inducing heaps of guilt and blowing the GUILT-O-METER to smithereenes

Dennis Jones

…yes Doug, cursing is always a big plus in a Sunday School poster…

Doug Jones

yeah… you get to use all those symbols that you never get to use otherwise. Like #$*&!!@#%!!!

Dennis Jones

…wow, I’ve never heard you use that kind of language before, Doug… I’m kinda shocked…

Teper Senoj

Meesa thinks u sould youse that peectuure weeth photooshoop eend add a graydient

Dennis Jones

…I couldn’t understand what that floppy eared goomer was saying in the movie either…

Roballoo!

Oooh,a cliffhanger ~ I like it. Can’t wait for episode two.

Mark Behm

How many times do you ask yourself “and you picked ME for this job BECAUSE…?”

Dennis Jones

…I quit asking that 25 years ago… when you’re a burnt out old guy it really doesn’t matter all that much…

Don Jones

“Floppy eared goomer”… I’m using that phrase in my conversation!

Mark Behm

Heh heh heh.

Karen Jones

Dennis, you look so cute with that afro. It takes me back to when we first met… hee hee hee

Dennis Jones

EVERYBODY RUN… MY WIFE HAS FOUND OUR SECRET INTERNET CLUBHOUSE!

Dan Lietha

And I thought your Joy of Painting series were great before! This is REALLY getting interesting! Perhaps the REAL secret to Dennis’ success is about to be made known! YESSSSSSSSSS!

Dennis Jones

…ok, Dan, ok… you caught me… I confess… I am just the front man for a team of Jedi Knights that are actually doing the artwork… that little green one with the pointy ears is particularly good with gouache…

Yoda (pointy eared he is)

Too old, Joneswalker, are you, the training to begin, necessary that it is, in the ways of the force, backwards to talk like me…

JoyOfPainting Part2 Episode 5

October 20, 2006

JOP5a

…with your host, Dennis Jones…

2Finish

…finished poster…

To recap yesterdays exciting episode; …I am trying to create a poster that has an “old time” look to it. My client is not aware of what I am trying to accomplish with color and has sent an additional email asking that the poster be very, very colorful. Unfortunately, I have already finished painting it using very limited color.

As I look at the poster, I really don’t really see any way to insert a lot of color into it. Boots, footballs, and anvils just aren’t very colorful items. My only option is to blow out the background with color. This is a tricky proposition. If too much is going on with the background it will overwhelm the images in the foreground. I keep piddling around with color until I come up with a solution (pictured above). I feel that, short of painting Skittles and a rainbow into the background, this is about as much color as I will be able to insert into this.

I burn the job to a disc and toss it in the mail. This didn’t turn out exactly the way I conceived it, but hopefully it will be what the client is looking for. I receive an email a day or two later saying, “hey, we sure liked that colorful poster” …whew!

The Comments

Don Jones

I was up all night worried that this project was going to crash and burn. But now life is just peachie again … Dennis does another high-flyin’ tightrope illustration and the Card WON last night!!

Dennis Jones

…Card? ..Cards… Cardinals? Did the Cardinals win last night? …Don, talking to you is just like talking to Lassie…

Lassie

Timmy fell in the well… bring card

Dan Lietha

That’s quite the movie transition. You started out with Star Wars and ended up with Lassie.

Dennis Jones

…yes, Dan, it’s amazing where you can end up when you have no real game plan for anything that you are doing… Brother Jones is a testimony to that philosophy…

Doug Jones

so… where are the dinosaurs?

Dennis Jones

…well, in this episode the dinosaurs pretty much just hid in the trees and growled real loud to try to scare the plein air painters on the beach… I don’t think anyone actually saw one…

Don Jones

Upon further study I have detected the music you were listening to while producing this fine piece of poster art. The color enhanced letters CCR can mean only one thing: Credence Clearwater Revival! ” I see a bad moon arising”

Dennis Jones

…yes, Don, you have discovered the secret evil backward masking I have inserted unknowingly into this poster… only it’s not backward… or masked very well… and I didn’t even know I did it… this is all very scary stuff…

Don Jones

If I had a pair of those pants I would be a happy man.

Dennis Jones

…I’m pretty sure you did back in the 70’s…

ricky heinrichs

…what year in the 70’s…

jango fett

… the star wars picture you took awhile back is exactly what it is…

Bruce Jones

A big Ohio hello to the Jones boys, from a first cousin. I enjoy your artwork now, just like when we were kids. Remember blowing off firecrackers in the old school yard? And I miss my “annual professional haircut” from Uncle Loyd. I remember it all… love to your mom. Bruce Jones

Doug Jones

Cuzin Bruce! Woo! Yep… those were the good old days! I always enjoyed your annual visits… and always cried when you had to go…. sigh….

Dennis Jones

HEY COUSIN BRUCE… do you remember how we used to always call you Cousin Bruce and you would tell us your first name was not “cousin” …but we went ahead and kept calling you Cousin Bruce because we just couldn’t help ourselves… good times… good to hear from you…

Don Jones

BAAAA-ROOOCE!!! Always a high-point when Jones cousins check in on this mind-numbin’ site. I remember y’all blowing into town from Virginia and Uncle Alton was always sporting the coolest sunglasses. I now wish I had enough hair for a haircut.

Doug Jones

It takes a BRAVE person to come out and admit that they are related to us. Think we should offer Cuz an honorary membership? If I remember correctly… it was from Bruce’s family that I first heard that phrase… “the Jones Appeal”

Craig Schutt

Oh, I actually thinks it’s much, much BRAVER to marry into the Jones clan! But I’ve never regretted it…well, except for that one time, when a picture of me in a Batman mask was posted on Don’s section of this site… Which reminds me: Halloween (er—make that Harvest Festival time) is almost upon us. Sure hope my son doesn’t ask me to dress up as the Caped Crusader again this year…

Doug Jones

but you look so GOOD in tights!

Dennis Jones

…I’m kinda uncomfortable with the direction these comments are headed in… I think we better fire up some manly football talk… arr, arr, arr…

Cedric Hohnstadt

Thanks so much for posting this little series. It’s encouraging to know that even a big-name illustrator like Dennis Jones occassionally runs into problems. You handled it very well. I can tell you are a “big name” illustrator because the finest illustrations always include either a frog, a bicycle, or an anvil. You included all three! Even Rockwell never achieved such a feat.

TV Alert!

January 30, 2008

Mole2

Here are a couple of pictures from my Moleskine sketchbook. They are inspired by the tv show Lost. John Locke and the mysterious island monster which no one has ever seen. I’m pretty sure this is what the mysterious island monster looks like, even though I’ve never actually seen the mysterious island monster. Tonight Lost kicks off with last seasons finale, (I think) and tomorrow the season opener! …hooHOO!

The Comments

Doug Jones

Locke looks almost pleasant here… that could be a bad sign. I think you got the monster right… just add a lot of gnats… Finally something on TV I want to watch. I hope the new season does not have anyone named Hillary or Obama in it… I’m really getting tired of hearing those names… Hey… why doesn’t Jack Bauer run for president? He’s not doing anything these days…

Don Jones

Locke looks fresh and ready for the upcoming season. Beautiful renditions that get me hyped for the big show Den. I believe you and I are closer to the Locke hair-do than Douger.

Roballoo

If I haven’t been keeping up on the show would I be…Lost?

Jason Bourne

I can’t wait for the new Star Wars animated TV show.

Doug Jones

That flash forward on Lost is a real DOWNER! Wish they hadn’t done that…

Don Jones

Same here. I can’t wrap my mind around present, future jumpin’ around stuff. Give it to me STRAIGHT in an unadulterated sequential time sequence. I prefer to NOT THINK when I enjoy t.v.

Weird Al

March 10, 2008

044Annie

I was listening to I-Tunes on random mode the other day and a Weird Al song fired up called “The Saga Begins”. It’s a parody of Don McClean’s song, “American Pie”…

…a long, long time ago… in a galaxy far away… Naboo was under an attack”…

It’s really pretty amazing how he retells Star Wars (movie one) in it’s entirety during the course of this song, and the music is much punchier than the original, too. Here’s my interpretation of Anakin in honor of the amazing Weird Al Yankovic… and here’s also to hoping my two sons don’t read this and make fun of me for the next 3 years about it…

The Comments

Don Jones

We share the same fear of our sons terrorizing and teasing us for our quarky, eccentric, sad little lifestyles. So be it

Jason Bourne

That is funny. And UHF is one the best movies ever made!

Doug Jones

looks like you have some custom brushes going on here… right?

Dennis Jones

…naw, these are just photoshop charcoal brushes…

Trooper Helmet

March 24, 2008

044stormtrooper2

The sun is out this morning and it looks like a really nice day, but I think they are calling for snow tomorrow so I better strap on the inlines, grab a hockey stick and skate the neighborhood today while I have a chance.

The Comments

Jason Bourne

Aw Yeeaa! I wish I had one of those helmets.

Doug Jones

is it halloween already? how time flies!….

Dennis Jones

…I’m makin’ me wunna these helmets outa gourds this summer… ittle be sweet…

Don Jones

Speaking of protection… I am now the proud owner of a sweet little 14-inch STIHL chainsaw. Ran it all afternoon Saturday and still have all limbs in tact on my person.

Doug Jones

…so now your dining room table and all the chairs are only 12 inches high?

Dennis Jones

…you can’t go wrong with a Stihl chainsaw… I’ve been abusing mine for 10 years now and it continues to start up every time I pull the cord…

Doug Jones

I have a rusty hand saw that works everytime too…

Dennis Jones

…the Dougster kickin’ it ole schoo…

Star Wars On Spike TV

April 14, 2008

Nuknoga

Last weekend Spike TV played episodes I, II, and III of Stars Wars on Friday, Saturday and Sunday night. This weekend they did the same thing with episodes IV, V, and VI. Lucas seemed to have the whole story pretty much mapped out when he did the original (episode 4) back in the 70’s. In my humble opinion, the original was the best of the bunch followed by it’s sequel… and then they got progressively worse even though the special effects got better. I love the character development that went into this project and I still enjoy drawing some of the obscure oddballs from this series.

The Comments

Jason Bourne

Im a Star Wars fan and enjoyed the prequels.{except for Jar-Jar} I really liked Watto, he is cool. There is going to be a new CG  Star Wars movie coming in August!

Doug Jones

That hammerhead character in the cantina is still one of my all time favorites. …nice color gradation on the mouth area.

jon Himknotme Slone

I agree. The best 2 were 1977 and 1980. Star wars and Empire strikes! No question!!!